Is it rude to make your maids all wear flats?

I just think it is unnecessary. You are who you are, why do you have to appear taller? Why is taller better?

Also, my MOH is a solid 8" taller (and my FH is 10" taller) than me and I am choosing not to wear heels on my wedding day because I want to be comfortable. I have left the shoe choice up to my bridesmaids.

I'm not telling my girls what shoes to wear other than a color that goes with their dress, but I don't find this to be an unreasonable request. It's not like you're telling some people to wear flats and others to wear heels. If you tell them all to wear flats, that's fine.

I’m about 5’3” and my cousin who is one of my MOHs is almost 6’. My aunt told her she had to wear flats, but I told her I don’t care as long as she’s comfortable. I understand where you’re coming from, myFamily has teased me about being sorry for years, but I also think you’re making an issue where there isn’t one and overthinking. No one is going to be thinking about how tall your bridesmaids are compared to you. I wouldn’t worry about it, let them wear what they want.

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Wait, so now you're saying that they already purchased their agreed-upon shoes, and all of a sudden now you want to force them all to wear flats? I'm sorry OP, but this is even worse and even more unreasonable than I previously thought. If you do this, I sure hope that you plan to refund them for the cost of the shoes they already purchased, cover the full cost of the new shoes, have each girl try on the new shoes before purchasing to make sure they are comfortable and fit, and reimburse them for the cost to have their dresses re-hemmed and altered to accommodate suddenly having to wearing flats instead of heels. I would advise that you should also keep in mind that shoes are very particular, and you don't really know the details of their feet. I wouldn't feel physically comfortable in flats because my feet are very wide and some flats can be so narrow and offer no arch support. Keep in mind that your bridesmaids will be in these shoes for like 12 hours. Don't you want them to be comfortable? And I know I mentioned it before, but my bridesmaids were on average between 8 and 11 inches taller than me and all of the photos looked great. Professional photographers have tons of tricks up their sleeves on positioning taller girls in a certain way to make the bride stand out and appear taller. This would be my advice. Best of luck

I think this is an odd request and would not do it. You'll be the focus of every photo you are in regardless of how tall everyone is and what shoes they are wearing. I also agree that by choosing for everyone to wear flats, you greatly increase the odds that the BM's dresses will need hemming. My daughter is nearly 6', and her BMs ranged from less than 5' to more than 6'. She told them all to choose whatever nude colored shoes they wanted. The 5' BM wore flats because that's all she's comfortable in and two of the tallest BMs wore platform heels to avoid having to have their dresses altered. Also, daughter was once a BM in a wedding where the bride was probably 5'3" at the most and the other two BMs were less than 5' tall. The bride suggested they all wear heels.... Daughter looks like she's a foot and a half taller than everyone else and her short DB dress is ridiculously short on her (she wore nude colored bike shorts underneath it so she didn't accidentally flash anyone...). She's also really uncomfortable in heels, so as soon as the ceremony was over she walked around barefoot all night (not awesome). I'm a big fan of letting people choose their own shoes within a color choice. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Odd and controlling is a bit harsh. Unless it’s a wedding where people can wear whatever they want, it’s not odd at all to coordinate and control the type of look you want for your bridesmaids and photos. If they’re you’re friends they’ll understand. It’s just shoes, you’re not asking them to change their identity or hide it. Being and looking tall is neither good nor bad or an identity thing. But if it bothers you, I bet you can talk with them and hope they want to respect your wishes. If it makes them physically uncomfy. That’s something to consider.

I don’t think it’s rude. What would be rude would be to require heels without considering the comfort level of your girls in heels (as a bridesmaid I would’ve objected to heels, especially if they were skinny), but I don’t see anyone having this same reaction to flats. I also see this being an easier request than requiring a specific hairstyle or makeup.

I wasn’t requiring a specific shoe for my girls, but we brainstormed together and ending up all deciding on a nude crocheted flat. I guess I got lucky with my girls being pretty agreeable. I had given them 3 different dress options that I would’ve been happy with and they all picked my favorite as their favorite.

I wouldn't have initially found it rude - my best friend had us all in flats (she paid for them) mostly so we could comfortably walk around and not end up barefoot at the reception. However, it is a little inconsiderate that they all agreed on a shoe and have already purchased it. If you choose to ask them to switch, I would reimburse them for the shoes they bought (if they can't be returned) in addition to buying the shoes you are asking them to wear. This is also a situation where you know your girls the best and will know if they would be upset by it or not.

View Quoted Comment So luckily the shoes they agreed on were flats after I brought up how they felt about flats. They also wanted to be in flats.

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Oh that's perfect, then! I was pretty thankful that my friend wanted us in flats, I'm really short but also really clumsy and would have been shoeless very quickly.