Is it rude to make your maids all wear flats?

I don't think it's something you should worry about. I always thought footwear was up to the wearer...however, if you want to do something trendy like have all of them in matching shoes, that would be acceptable if it was at your expense.

I don’t think it’s rude because we already ask them to wear certain attire and usually a lot of brides do designate what shoes to wear too

This seems like an odd thing to be insecure about, but I suppose it’s not a big deal to ask everyone to wear flats.

Honestly, the last thing on my mind was the height of everyone. I personally didn't want to "make " anyone wear anything. I've been in so many weddings were the bride dictated everything from hairstyles to makeup, jewelry, dress, and shoes.


I swore I'd never be that type of Bride, and I wasn't. I told them colors, they all agreed on the same dress.I chose blingy sandals for myself, two bridesmaids liked them and chose the same, the other was free to wear something similar.
I'm short, and there is no denying that fact. I embraced it and wore flats myself. You may add more stress to your plate by overthinking things like a minor detail of wanting to appear taller.
You are perfect the way you are and if they want to wear flats that is great, but making them wear them, in my opinion isn't necessarily rude, but may be seen as controlling. Just ask them if they would be ok wearing flats, instead of demanding it. Some women hate flats, some dont. You may get lucky, they may be relieved not to wear heels
Congratulations! It will be perfect either way.❤👰💍

I dont think its rude, brides request a certain color all the time for shoes so I think you can ask them to wear flats

It comes across as odd and controlling. Their height is part of who they are and not everyone is comfortable in flats.


Be prepared to foot the bill for the shoes (or other accessories) if you require a certain look.

I don’t think it’s rude at all. It’s a simple request.

Sorry to be the odd one out here, but I think this is unbelievably rude. You are basically ensuring that they will have to get their dresses hemmed to go with flats and will be unable to wear them again to a formal event with heels. If their dresses are long, then it's not about the look--it's simply to make you look taller. If they're short dresses, then flats will look very strange. People can't change their height. I am not even 5"1 tall and all of my bridesmaids were WAY taller than me. I would never have asked them all to wear flats for the sake of me appearing taller. At the very least, if you are going to force them to wear flats, then you should pay for them and provide them. This is just my opinion.

No I don’t think it’s rude at all.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. I'm under 5' and I would never ask this of anyone for all the reasons stated.

Yes it’s rude. Why do you need to look taller? They’re your supposed nearest and dearest, there’s no need to try to make them alter your appearance. I was shorter than 5/6 of my bridesmaids. It made no difference at all.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I just meant to appear closer to their height for the ceremony and pictures to make things look more uniform.

View Quoted Comment That doesn’t matter unless they’re literally 3 feet taller. I’d say let them wear what they’d like!

Two of my three bridesmaids were (are) taller than I am (4-5" taller in bare feet) and wore heels . . . it made absolutely no difference. Everyone still knew I was the bride. The pictures look fantastic. I agree with PP - these are your nearest and dearest - they know you aren't a tall lady. I would ask your bridesmaids to wear shoes in which they are comfortable (within color parameters) that they'll wear again - or be prepared to buy the shoes yourself.

I wouldn't say "rude" (I've seen ruder stuff around here)....... but it is a little strange in my opinion. You don't need to look taller or more uniform. People will know that you're the bride regardless if you seem taller. I'm 4'10", and all my bridesmaids tower over me lol.

If it's something you insist on, please consider paying for their shoes.

I’m 4’11”. I let my bridesmaids wear whatever shoes they wanted and a 5’7” girl wore big heels. First she said she’d wear flats and then changed her mind the day before. And yes I love her to death but it looks awkward. Of course everyone knew I was the bride and no one would say anything but I looked super tiny and awkward in my wedding party photos. Idk the heights of your girls but I do think it’s something to consider.

I feel like this is a weird request. I’ve never noticed the height of a bride vs anyone else standing near her. The friend I had as my MOH is nearly a foot taller than me and my husband is over a foot taller than me so no matter what I wore or they wore for footwear I was going to be short- because I am short.

I’m doing this. I actually bought all my bridesmaids flats off of amazon as part of their bridesmaids gift.

View Quoted Comment Yeah! That’s what I wanted to do, but then they all bought the shoes they agreed on, I Told them I will give them the money and everything.

I don't think it's rude at all. Some brides say what shoe should be worn others could care less. Nobody is going to think twice about any of them being taller than you...you're the bride so everyone is going to be looking at you the whole time anyway