Is it rude not to deposit a check?

FH and I watch our expenses closely and we wrote a check to a friend of his wedding last year. Honestly it was pushing the limit of what we could afford at the time but we wanted to do something nice since he and FH have been friends since elementary school and FH stood in his wedding. We waited and waited for him to deposit the check, which caused monthly frustrations for us. 6 months came and went. No deposit. 8 months. No deposit. The wedding was last October, and not only did he never deposit our check (or anyone's that I've asked) no one received a Thank You card either. It was a very frustrating situation and his poor mother is so embarrassed by her son's behavior. Now FH wants him to stand in our wedding and I'm incredibly annoyed and apprehensive.

Cash it! There is nothing worse than sitting waiting for someone to cash your check

Thanks for all the advice.

Just to clear something up, I never said that because she's a single mom she can't afford it. Those words never left my keyboard. I said that I know she could use that money for her kids. Just to put this in context, it's a check that's in the $500 range. And she works retail. That's not to say she can't afford it because, as someone else said, she wouldn't have put me over her kids and I know that. It's just a crazy amount, no matter who it comes from. I feel weird cashing it, but I certainly don't want to insult her by not cashing it, so I guess I will.

I think this is very thoughtful of you. I'd cash it, and maybe get the kids something awesome for Christmas.

This happened to me once. I gave a check for $300 to one of my best friends for her wedding, plus paid for my hair and makeup, dress and shoes (I was a BM). I saved up, because I knew the dress wasn't going to be cheap and the stupid ugly shoes cost me close to $200. She didn't cash the check in a timely manner, and I checked my account everyday waiting for it to clear. She actually called me before cashing it and asked if I was sure I meant to give it to her. I blew it off and told her yes, and that she was being silly. I literally cried when we got off the phone. I don't want to say I was offended, because I think I was more hurt than anything. I questioned how my friends may have thought about me and was worried about them talking behind my back.

Cash it and buy her a REALLY big gift card to someplace you know she frequents for Christmas.

You did say she is a single mom though. Sounds implied to me. If that point wasn't important, why mention it all? Agree with others, cash the check.

Cash it

I know how your feelings. I invited my whole company (pretty small) to our wedding and one of the guy who worked for me wrote us a pretty large check. I know exactly how much he made and felt guilty taking that money. But if we don't, it is also very rude. H also got gifts that he's not comfortable with. One of his friend is totally broke but added some cash to the card.

Just cash it right away write and sent her a very nice thank you note.

Cash it. Why would she write a check if she couldn't afford to give you the gift? I find it really irritating when people hold onto a check forever without cashing it.

"You did say she is a single mom though. Sounds implied to me. If that point wasn't important, why mention it all? Agree with others, cash the check."

Oh for goodness sake, I mentioned it because she IS a single mom and she's raising two kids on her own without a second income. That does not mean that she or all single moms are poor or whatever else you think it implies.

OP your heart is in the right place, but you need to cash it. Consider being extra generous yourself and maybe buying her kids nice gifts for the holiday, but definitely cash it.

@Mrs. MRose- honestly in the situation you described I would seriously be concerned that your card/check for lost. Who knows, you could be thinking he is rude and maybe he is thinking you didn't bring a gift. If its a good friend, give him the benefit of the doubt.

Yes, you could f-up her bank account! She will think it's lost and might even pay to have a stop put on it. Cash the check.

It's already been said, but I agree with others. Cash it, I find it annoying when I've sent out a check and am constantly checking to see if it's been cashed. I makes my life easier when I do by budgeting knowing the money is really gone. She knows what she can afford, no need to question it and think of how else she could use the money. I'm sure she's got it under control.

Yes, it's very rude to not deposit a check. Deposit it and do it sooner rather than later. You're throwing her checkbook balance off.