Is it rude not to deposit a check?

I'm not sure if it is rude or not, but I feel like most people know what they can and cannot afford. Maybe you could deposit the check then take her and her family out for a nice dinner or something?

I think you should deposit it. You don't want her to feel like you're questioning her gifting ability. She obviously wrote you the check with the intent of you depositing it.

I like Erin's idea of taking them out to dinner too.

^^What Sarah said

I understand feeling guilty, but you should still deposit it.

It is because it messes up their balance. Cash it and spend the whole amount on presents for her kids this holiday season.

She is expecting it to come out of her account and not cashing it may cause her confusion when she is doing her banking and balancing. She will eventually ask you why, since she probably watches her account pretty tightly.

Maybe you should talk to her and let her know how much you appreciate the gift. Then you can get a feel from her if it's too much for her to do.

Definitely cash it. It drives me insane when I'm waiting for a check to clear the bank. And like PP's suggested, if you truly think she was too generous, try to get it back to her somehow. Send her a Christmas basket, take her out to dinner, have her over, send the kids small Christmas gifts, etc.

Cant remember who, but someone had mentioned on a different post. That they gave a nice monetary gift, and received it back with added funds to it. So they plan to give back with more added to it.. if I got the story right. So maybe you can gift it back as a Christmas gift, with a small amount added to it? Eta... but taking them out for a dinner or something fun is always a nice idea.

So I should cash it before the wedding? I can see where that would be helpful with Christmas bills. I guess I just feel weird because it's so much money and while I would never presume to know all her finances, I'd have trouble accepting this much even from family. Just figured I'd ask.

How long is it since she wrote the check? You want to get it to the bank sooner rather than later.. I see people all the time who get checks returned and fees because they waited too long and the check writer didn't have sufficient funds at the time of transaction.

My dad always told me that if someone gives you something, and you want it, you should take it. If she didn't actually want to give it to you, then she shouldn't have. Cash it sooner rather than later so she knows where her finances stand.

You need to cash it. I would be offended if I gave somebody a gift and they wouldn't take it because they didn't think I could afford it. Plus, when I write somebody a check I'm waiting for it to be cashed so I don't have to keep making sure I have the money in my account so just not cashing it would peeve me too. I'm sure she wouldn't put your gift before her children either way

I think its wrong to assume she can't afford this gift she just gave you because she is a single mom. She chose the amount she wanted to give you. You should definitely deposit as soon as possible. She is probably waiting for the check to clear.

H and I struggled with this too… we know our friends and are pretty certain they can afford the amount that they gifted us but it just feels strange to take it (we are an older couple and we have both been married before). After much discussion, it was decided that we would cash the checks but the next time we are out with those friends the evening would be on us.

If she had given you a gift worth the same amount as the check would you want to return it and give her the money?

Cash the check. Don't take her to dinner or buy her kids presents with it unless that is what you are planning on doing with everyone else who gives you a check or gift.

Cash it cash it cash it.... One thing I HATE is waiting for someone to cash my check.. Because after so long, I tend to forget about it.. Id rather it be taken out right away or as soon as can be than having it sit there untouched. Its a gift.. And she may have saved her money to be able to send you a gift! She may have worked hard for the money she gave you, just as I would, it would make me a proud single mother to be able to give a generous gift to a friend!

It's rude. For multiple reasons. The only time to intentionally not deposit a check is when you REALLY don't like the person.

I think it's thoughtful of you, but everyone else here had made total sense of this.

And do it fast; it makes me insane when people don't cash my checks in a timely way...

Cash the check. It's annoying and kind of disrespecful when people hold checks. If she couldn't afford it then she would have never given it too you. I'm a single mom myself. (Before FH) And when I would give money or help people it would be because I could. You don't know if she has her monies sorted out already. Cash it.

As other have already said, she wouldn't have given to you if she couldn't afford it. Cash it!

We took our premarital counseling classes back in September and they still haven't cashed the check! It drives me crazy!!