Is it okay to request formal attire

On our website there will be a section where I write:

No jeans, t-shirts, hats, or sneakers please.

I dont know if we will even have a website for it. I think we should but the fiance thinks its odd.

And its not like we are not technologically advanced (he basically builds computers)

He just sees it as different I guess

Even if you put it on there, people are still going to dress how they want. Unfortunately, if your social circle doesnt dress formal, you're probably not going to get formal.

I would not put it on the invite, but maybe as an insert with your invitations.

Formal attire is more black tie tux and long gown I think Semi-formal is what your looking for.

That is what we are having.

I'm used to formal attire as black tie. You might say either dressy or business casual attire requested.

Oh alright I didnt think of that. We dont expect people to go get tuxes for a wedding. Semi-formal

Is it rude to put it in with invites? Thats what I am nervous about.

I wouldn't take it as rude there's only one time I found it rude. A relative of mine only put it with SOME of her family's invitations because she felt they couldn't dress for a wedding.

No, I have seen it on the bottom corner of the invite where it says Black Tie Formal or Semi- Formal.

We used word of mouth because I forgot to add it when I purchased our invites.

No, I have seen it on the bottom corner of the invite where it says Black Tie Formal or Semi- Formal.

We used word of mouth because I forgot to add it when I purchased our invites.

Thanks everyone! Great input!

Just remember that unless they're close family, they won't be in many or any of your photos so it won't be be that bad.

It's an issue we've had brought up with ours, because I've seen some of my relatives come in jeans (shoot, I've changed into jeans later in the night at my sisters wedding but I was 18 and really uncomfortable in my body), but FH's family is really quite formal but in the end, the people who won't dress nice won't be in my photos.

It's not rude. I've actually seen it as something that's recommended to put if you're concerned about what people will show up wearing. Google search "wedding invitations attire wording" or something, to make sure you have the correct wording. Like others said I think semi-formal or something to that effect is what you're looking for. Also-- put it on an insert, not the actual invitation.

Wedding websites are becoming very common. I have one too. They're great to refer people to for extra info such as where you are registered, Etc. I put my wedding website address on my insert for the invitation also.

Yeah I think it's ok to ask in the invite or insert like the others said. The only thing that puts me a bit ill at ease is the word "required." Lindsay's wording with the "please" just gives it a much nicer tone. Or substituting required with "requested" or something like that?

You can't tell people what to wear. Not on the invite or website it's very rude. If people ask you can tell them it's a formal wedding but in the end they'll wear what they want. It won't affect you and they'll be the ones who look silly.

I think I'm going to put an FAQ section on our website and put "what should I wear?" as one of the questions and specify dress code that way.

We received an invitation marked "Black Tie Optional." DH does not own a tux and we were not able to rent one, plus fly to the wedding, stay at the host hotel (pricey), etc. Being in the wedding biz, I had a selection of gowns from which to choose. DH wore his blazer and tie, shirt & slacks. I am Aunt of the groom and I figured it was more important that we be there than what we wore.

I think it's perfectly appropriate to put it on your invites, and i agree with ann that stating it as requested or appreciated is much nicer. i think many people appreciate knowing how formal an event is.

i have been to a couple of weddings where the invitation stated "black tie optional" which certainly gave the impression that one would dress more formally. be prepared for people to dress however they want though. black tie optional to me meant gown or cocktail, many still showed up in a crappy sundress (and some worse than that).

give them some guidance but don't be offended if they don't dress up to your standards. remember not everyone can afford to purchase a new outfit for your big day.

The only time a dress code should be states on the invite is if its true black tie (top shelf open bar, valet, live band, etc). Otherwise it's very rude to tell people how to dress and its implying they dot know how to dress for a wedding. You show formality by how fancy the invites are, the venue, etching. You can use word of mouth to tell people it's a formal wedding

You can ask them to wear what you want, but in the end, some people will not listen. I wouldnt put it on the invites, I would make a website and put it there, or I would put it on the reception card. I also think its rude for people to show up wearing jeans- i was horrifyed at our friends wedding this guy strolledinto the ceremony late and wearing jeans and tee. He had driven all night to get there. I didnt care, he could have attempted to get dressed first! The couple didnt care, but its one of the few things I clearly remember from their wedding. I wouls also get FH on the case- have him spread the word that this is a formal event and no jeans are allowed.

@Rev Ann- you can put anything you want on an invite, but that doesn't mean it isn't rude. An invite (or any inserts) should never contain registry information or a ress code (except for black tie). Word of mouth is the best way to spread the formality of the event. Most people know how to dress for a wedding. Those who don't, well stating a dress code is very unlikely to change a thing.