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Devoted October 2020

Is it okay for the wedding party to help?

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A, on April 21, 2020 at 1:42 PM

Posted in Planning 24

So I’ve heard a lot of people say it’s a bad idea to ask wedding party members (in my wedding this is just my FW and my siblings, no friends) to help with tasks like setting up/taking down decor, making sure people know where they’re going, etc. My wedding had only about 30 guests, and we would be asking for help, not making them do stuff so we don’t have to (we would be doing it too). We don’t have money for a day-of coordinator, and our venue is a public park so there is no “staff”. Is it okay to ask? Fo we do it all ourselves? What about stuff we physically can’t do, like moving really heavy tables?

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24 Comments

Expert July 2021
Katharine · on April 23, 2020 at 11:21 AM
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It's fine to ask, especially for a small wedding like that. It's more a matter of preference, and situational.
My first wedding was small like yours, and a few friends/family helped with the minor set up details needed.
My second wedding is going to be a bit larger and I decided I wanted all my guests to be able to relax & enjoy themselves, so I saved up and splurged on a DOC.
It's all in what you need.
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VIP October 2020
Anna · on April 23, 2020 at 7:59 PM
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That’s totally not a bad thing to ask. I’m asking my girls and some family members to help with setup and take down. My wedding is small and if you’re not hiring a planner/coordinator who else is going to help set up? I don’t think you should be expected to hire someone unless that’s what you want to do. To me a wedding is a family celebration. I grew up helping serve at the reception for cousins’ weddings. Both times I’ve been a bridesmaid I’ve helped with setup and cleanup. In my culture/community its more or less expected for the wedding party to help. But it’s still posed as a question “if you can come, we’re setting up at XX time” but it’s not a requirement.
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VIP December 2020
Amanda · on April 25, 2020 at 8:43 AM
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I don't think that's bad at all! I personally wouldn't be offended if I was a wedding party member and asked to help with things.
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Devoted July 2020
Candice · on April 26, 2020 at 1:29 PM
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My family/ bridal party wants to do it. My grandma keeps asking how she can help. My wedding is a little bigger than 30 people but I'm on a budget and don't want to hire servers and stuff. I think asking grandma to put up centerpieces and bridesmaides to be in charge of the sound system is fine with my crowd. I think it just depends on your people and how formal your wedding is.
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