Is it ok to plan your own bachelorette party?

If you are planning to pay for everything, it's fine.

The practical problem with planning your own but not paying for it is that you are basically spending other people's money to "host" a party for yourself. I would tread very carefully with planning for travel and activities that cost money (and vacation time). Make it very clear to everyone up front how much everything will cost and assure them their attendance isn't required.

If they are already helping you plan your reception, they might be feeling overwhelmed and not up to also planning a destination bachelorette party.

View Quoted Comment I totally understand that. I was planning on booking the condo myself, the couple of ppl I invite would just be responsible for their food and drinks for the weekend. I made it clear that I was booking, IF anyone wanted to pitch in to help reimburse thats fine and if not it's fine. We are saving a huge amount by opting to do a weddingmoon versus a ceremony and honeymoon 😀

Everything I have read from Emily Post ..even podcasts.. says you don't plan your own nor do you ask. If someone volunteers then they will plan and host but the bride is a guest only.

View Quoted Comment I agree with Maggie!!

I see nothing wrong with a “let’s get together and have fun before I get married” party. Don’t expect them to pay for anything, but do it to share your excitement with them.
I’m in my 50s and my 23 year old who is my maid of honor is excited to plan something but is also a broke college student, so she’s tossing ideas my way knowing I’ll be paying. She’s not planning a Vegas trip or anything, just a cabin for a weekend so we can all eat and have mimosas and smores.

I agree with Samantha. You can totally celebrate with your friends, but if you’re going to host a party you’ll need to host the party and cover the cost. (Non-covid friendly) alternative would to just be going out to drinks, that way they’d pay for their own drinks but it wouldn’t necessarily be a party.

I’m a big proponent of not hosting your own bachelorette party, but my husband and I ended up getting married with just parents in attendance due to COVID restrictions. I still wanted to celebrate with my girls, so I asked them for a day they were free for a few hours and took them out for a picnic. I paid for the tea boxes that we ate and brought the blankets. They only had to show up to somewhere local on a Saturday (no work to miss). I think if you’re presenting it as a getaway or girl’s trip before the wedding, you’ll be fine. Just make sure no one feels like they can’t decline and don’t go booking events/excursions/etc that you want then to pay for without talking with them.

Like I responded to Maggie, I am covering all costs. if anyone wants to pitch in towards reimbursement that's cool but I am not asking anyone to. It's literally only 10 ladies lol. I have made that clear. Just wanna have a weekend getaway with my closest ladies

I don't think it's rude or wrong in any way! I've been a big part in planning my bachelorette party and so have all the brides I've attended parties/planned for. We're planning a joint bachelor/bachelorette party and inviting a lot of our friends outside of our wedding party, so it's pretty much just a fun weekend with friends. My MOH and I picked a place and did some research then told all of our friends about it. If they don't want to come or can't afford to no one is forcing them and we completely understand. I don't think you should be expected to cover all the costs at all. I don't see it as "hosting a party for yourself." If you really want to avoid anyone getting upset about it, just tell them it's a weekend away with your friends and not call it a bachelorette party.

I'm having a traditional bachelorette party the night before my October wedding but my bridal party and I are having a bachelorette weekend for my birthday (4th of July weekend). They asked me to pick the place and we're splitting everything.

If the people included are open and willing to assist with costs, plan, but just simply be there for you - call it your bachelorette party or whatever else YOU want and that's that. I think it would only be "rude" if you expected your guests to do whatever you wanted on their dime but since you stated that isn't the case, it sounds good to me. Enjoy yourself and have fun at your bachelorette party!