Is it ok to ask my grandmother to shave?

You run a very high risk of hurting her with that request, as though you're embarrassed or ashamed of her.

Absolutely not ok to ask ANYONE to shave their face for your wedding.

Is this an actual question...?

No. You cannot ask her to do that. That's absolutely terrible and would really hurt her feelings. It's pretty selfish to ask someone to change their appearance for your wedding.

View Quoted Comment ESPECIALLY if it’s your grandmother. My heart hurts just reading this.

View Quoted Comment Agreed!! How terrible. I can't even believe this question came up.

Are you like...for real?

View Quoted Comment This has to be satire.

You give grandma a hug and tell her you love her. Your request is ridiculous and I’m hoping this question isn’t for real

Everyone who criticized you for asking this question judged you for judging someone else...unfortunately that's not really something you can ask of someone, especially family, without hurting their feelings. But everyone has judged someone, family or not, for something about their appearance at one point or another, so I totally respect your feelings and hope this was more of way to get out that moment, but I advise against saying anything, at the end of they day you won't even notice you'll be so happy. In the planning process we all just pick and worry about every little detail!

Nobody likes the idea that a granddaughter would ever be ashamed to have her grandmother see guests, or appear in pictures, and would have the nerve to basically say, you are not attractive and I don't like looking at you with hairs above your lip.
😊So a nice reading: we will suppose that your grandmother is someone who always like to be well groomed, have her hair done, wear makeup , shape her brows, and nails, and tend to her skin, before going anyplace special. And now her eyesight is not good enough to see fine things, and her hands are less steady, she would love it if her granddaughter would help her with grooming tasks a few days before the wedding. Don't shave an upper lip. Look for Nair or another cream hair remover. A depilatory. Follow instructions. Put a little cold cream on the skin after. Do it 2-4 days before the wedding.
You also might see if she would like her brows shaped, or to buy fresh makeup, or for you to do so. A lot of older women, my Great Aunt is one, find it upsetting that they have arthritic hands, or declining vision, but feel embarrassed to ask for help. But offer nicely to see she has everything she needs, dress, or stockings, of lipstick she likes, and she may be very pleased with you caring and helping. Aunty was a model when young, and cares about her appearance, and your grandmother may too. While you are at it, see if she needs ear drops for built up wax.

View Quoted Comment THIS was the way to respond to the question.


NOT the judgement all of you ladies just typed out. Y'all need to do better!
Amber, I hope Judith's response helps. You would never want to embarrass your grandmother, but definitely make a day to help her get ready for your wedding will be so much fun. I actually went shopping with my grandmother for her outfits for both of ny brothers' weddings. She loved just spending time with me, as I'm sure your grandmother would love the same.

Seriously? No.

I am completely shocked by people’s insensitive, judgey replies! This is a forum to ask other brides for help on sensitive subjects... not a firing squad! Amber, I completely understand where you are coming from. I love my grandmother dearly, but if she had a dark mustache and chin stubble I would be concerned as well.... FOR her. I’m sure it bothers you thinking about guests staring at her and making her feel uncomfortable. I think a spa day with your mom & grandma may be a fun way to take care if the issue. You can speak to the spa prior & make them aware of the situation. They are likely trained to deal with such things tactfully. It could be as easy as them needing to “shave the peach fuzz” off ALL your faces for your facials/skin treatments, so she doesn’t feel as though she is being singled out.

She's had it your whole life. It clearly hasn't bothered her before if she hasn't done anything about it. It's unfair at this point to request that of her.

ABSOLUTELY NOT! That is so offensive. Get over yourself and grow up.

What is wrong with you, seriously! No you cannot ask her to shave! Your wedding is not special enough to ask ANYONE to change their appearance because you don't like it. So hurtful.

With all due respect, no you cannot ask her to shave it for your event. It's like telling your bridesmaids they cannot have hair colors outside the natural shades or telling the men the have to be clean shaven. While yes, one would hope people can clean up their appearance a bit for a formal event, you don't get to dictate down to every hair how they do it.
I doubt her facial hair will take away from any part of your wedding and cause a distraction. If it's been this way since you remember, I feel like it would be weird to look back at wedding photos and go "huh, she looks so different than what i remember."

I wouldn't ask at all! I think it's pretty darn disrespectful, to be honest.

If I were you, I personally wouldn't feel comfortable asking her that question.