Is it normal to get married in court and then have a ceremony and reception a few months later?

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@brieliz thanks that's helpful because I was wondering if someone else can get it for me

Agree with Celia so much on this! I'm having a DW and getting legally married at home to avoid complications. I'm not making the legal marriage into any kind of event, we are just going to meet at the courthouse and file some paperwork, similarly to how you would apply for a marriage license. My ceremony in Mexico will be my one and only wedding ceremony as far as I am concerned.

Personally, I don't see any problem with dealing with the legal/practical side of getting married separate from the personal/emotional side.

Nj is a weird place. Some offices will let a couple apply up to six months before. Some not. It is so complicated and varies slightly from town to town. This is why I recommend that anyone getting a license here call the exact town that will be issuing the initial license (the one you bring to your officiant). There are offices that have a six week waiting list to even apply for a license.

When you pick it up and sign off you have 30 days; you can use it as soon as you have it in your possession. The 72 hours minimum starts when you both sign it and hand it back to the clerk, but after that it is usable. (Note to NYkers; NY has a 24 hour waiting period and the HOUR is noted on the license....)

And C, I always recommend that my couples going to a island or another country to get married do their license here first. It is far easier (if you're going to live in the US for a while) to have your license originate here.

Personally, I think it's weird. I don't understand it. I would never have a "wedding ceremony" in front of family and friends if I was already married. It feels less meaningful to me, and kind of "fake" (for lack of a better word). I would do one or the other (courthouse ceremony or larger ceremony).

And, as pp's said, it wouldn't be an actually marriage ceremony when you're already married

Geez why is NJ so weird about their licenses?!

If you do choose to do a ceremony in MD please just don't lie to your guests. Everyone will understand when you explain the days off, 3 day waiting period, witness, and only valid for 30 days thing.

Just don't lie.

@Celia for the win on this one!!!

Agreed with @celia. and IMO, you can still call it a wedding. if someone is butt hurt enough to get mad at you for not calling it a 'celebration of marriage', they suck.

OP please make sure every single person knows that you are already married. I would call it a "celebration of marriage" party, not a wedding. I was the MOB where my daughter got married in secret and lied to us because she wanted the big wedding. We found out and pulled our funding, which resulted in her cancelling her wedding. She got very smart mouthed, and unfortunately weeks later she has yet to apologize or even speak to us like we did something wrong. Just be honest with every single person and let them know you are already married.

Totally agree with Celia. My FH's best (girl) friend married her fiance a few months before the wedding because they were buying a house and it was easier for them to get a loan (idk why) if they were married. Her father is a pastor and married them at their house with only the parents and siblings present. Since FH was her best friend she told us but they didn't tell all the guests, just the family present and a few other people. I didn't find any issues with it or think it was weird. But maybe that's just me. I'm also not really that close with her since we don't live near them so it's not like I have clouded judgement because its a friend of mine.

Why don't you just have the town hall wedding with a local reception? My cousin eloped in Vegas, and held a reception for friends and family in MA four months later. She and her husband played their wedding video during the reception. It included dinner, dancing, etc., the only part guests weren't there in person for was the exchanging of rings and vows. They didn't host a second wedding in MA because they were already married in NV.

While @Devastated's situation was really awful, I don't think it's necessary to go out of your way to notify everyone "Hey, we're legally married". If your family knows, friends know, things just naturally get around. I posted on FB on our courthouse date. boom...good enough.

Again, it's only a few months apart. I don't think you should deny yourself the opportunity to still say your vows to each other if you didn't do that at the courthouse.

It will be like a "retie the knot" ceremony! Do it if it works for you. We're getting married in St. Lucia, then having a ceremony/party when we get back for those who aren't coming to the wedding. We keep going back & forth on getting married here, then having at ceremony in St. Lucia, just for pain in the butt paperwork purposes.

Fun fact: New Jersey is the only state I know of that allows you to get a marriage license if you are already married (so long as it is to the same person). They even waive the normal 72-hour waiting period in such cases, but you have to show proof of the existing marriage.

http://www.nj.gov/health/vital/registration-vital/marriage-licenses/

Of course, why you would do this is a mystery to me. If you are already married and want to renew your vows, you don't really need a new marriage license to do it.

I'm doing that getting a license in Florida is just as difficult as NJ with the same waiting requirements and due to military commitments we physically aren't able to get into town that early, and there's office closures with the holidays. We haven't shied away from our life story so people that care to know, know and people that don't, don't. I've literally never seen any hate for this in real life either, only on WW

I think for your second wedding you don't need an official officiant