Is it just me?

View Quoted Comment This is so true. Bad reasons they are coming can be awful too. Two of my sister's married guys whose friends, ( like them much of the time) were clueless about being grown up, and manners. The week of one sister's wedding, 9 days before, a professional team the guys much favored lost a key game. And several of his friends called to say they were planning to watch playoff games on TV. But not without their favored team . So they had declined, weeks ago, but now could they and their SO or date come? Nice to know that an evening game on TV, that they could have taped, was more important before than their wedding. And the other had a huge number of last minute messages, the evening before, day of wedding, and day after. Why they were not coming, after saying yes. It was raining hard and felt like a day to sleep in. I forgot to get my suit from the cleaners, and don't want to have to go downtown to get it before dressing tomorrow. Maxed my credit card out at a bar last night, so I was turned down at the pump. And the best🙂, my hemorrhoids are acting up and I think I'll sit in the tub and smoke a few. Better they had said no reason at all.

Why would you need an explanation/reason for the decline? It's not a summons for jury duty.

View Quoted Comment Whether we attend a wedding or not, or even get invited, does not affect the gift. Someone one of us cares about enough to attend, gets a gift always. The majority of declines, get a gift, if we care , or if they elope. Usually near the wedding. Because the gift is to wish them a happy marriage, and support their union. But I do get the feeling sometimes that when you decline, whether or not it is a reason you have told them that cannot possibly change, or no reason given, people send one again because they think it will prompt a gift. In fact, invitations for showers, held a different date and location than a wedding, should still be sent. But a repeat of a declined invitation is meaningless as far as gifts are concerned.

I think expecting a reason is asking for them to possibly divulge personal information.. for example, we missed a family wedding a couple months ago because we didn't have the money to travel, but I would have found it rude if the bride/groom asked us to explain that. It was a personal decision that we made, but were very upset about and having to explain it would have been uncomfortable for us.

Yeah as far as I know, you don't need to provide a reason or card for not coming. If anything we should be happy they replied at all. But that's just me.

The ones who have declined for us provided a reason, but we did do it online where they could provide a comment! But hey, on the bright side, at least they let you know and you didn't have to chase them down!

It's not customary to include an "excuse" with an RSVP. I would be surprised to receive one at all.