Is it ever okay to ask someone to leave your wedding party?

Also her father (my uncle) has offered to take her to get her dress repeatedly, and she keeps brushing it off.

Tell her she has to get her dress by such and such date, and if she doesn't, she's out.

That's what my current plan is Feb 1st.

I had this problem. The girl never talked with the other BMs, did not want to get her dress, and even said she was not flying in to the morning of the wedding. I asked if she just wanted to come as a guest and she said yes.

I would have a sit down with her and express your concerns and try to get to the root of it. If she still fails to explain why she seems so disinterested I would go with Barbara's advice. Are you going to be okay with one less bridesmaid or is there someone else you would want to ask that you feel will be more supportive/helpful?

I kicked a BM out of my wedding party because she wasn't showing interest and she was very flaky... I say give her until February 1st like you said and then kick her out. Replace her or just go on with your other BMs

I just sent a text to inquire about the dress. Now, she is using the excuse that she needs diff site. I told my bridesmaid that could pick any Dessy dress in a particular shade. I really think she expects me to hold her hand through the whole process.

@Jennifer I actually only have 6 GMS and 7 BMS so I'd be fine with it.

I really wish she would just drop out and save me the agony.

She just told me that she lost all of the information that I had given her and now I have to look up all the stores in her area again. It's really exhausting.

Does she not have a computer? why can't she look them up herself?

Now she's saying she lost all the information and u have to look up stores? omg! this woman obviously not interested and ur doing urself both a favor by telling her to just be a guest. she'll be relieved and so will u. end this agony before rsentment builds up.

I would just get it over with and tell her right now, it seems like she's not interested in being a Bm, so if she wants just be a guest. And be stern or call her actually. But thats just me, i dont like to beat around the bush.

I sent her the store info and the website you gave me Ashley. Thanks for that. She is really making my other bridesmaids mad. I don't know why she can't look it up herself. This is exactly the issues I'm dealing with with her. She isn't even motivated enough to do a google search. I'm mainly worried now about collateral damage since she's a family member, my cousin.

Hasta la taco beeyotch! Just do it.

I wouldn't do anything. If she fails to order a dress, then she has taken herself out of the wedding. It is wrong to kick a friend / family member out of a bridal party just because you think she isn't interested. She already said she wants to be in the wedding. You don't have to hold her hand through ordering - just leave it to her to get the dress. Say you're sorry but you don't have time to search for all the stores again. Given that YOU have been kicked out before and you know how painful it was, I am shocked that you would consider doing it to your own cousin. She doesn't have to contribute to other things. Not everyone is interested in wedding planning. For goodness sake, you have 6 other BMs if you need help! You should choose BMs because they are important in your life and you want them to stand up with you on your wedding day in support of your marriage, not for what you want them to DO. I do not understand the constant encouragement on this site to kick out and replace bridesmaids. Is ending the friendship over a wedding worth it?

Lol @ Jay, although I have to respectfully disagree. Although she's being a pain, her lack of interest is pretty minor compared to some of the shenanigans you can read about here.

Instead I would at least give her one last chance to order the dress. Maybe there is something deeper going on. (Although, it's ridiculous that she can't look up stores.) Anyway, I wouldn't reconsider your choice to include her as a bridesmaid unless you also want to reconsider having her as a friend.

If she doesn't get that dress ordered within a week, though, she needs to go.

She called me and I told her how much she has been hurting me. She is going to get the dress today...I hope. I think I got a little carried away with my anger. All I have asked is that she get a dress, and she failed to do so. But like Emily said I will give her a chance to get it and we'll see what happens.

I don't agree. You're in, you're out, quit f-ing about. Like workplace morale. You have one negative person who doesn't care, and doesn't out forth the effort, it affects the rest of the team. I would do one final ditch effort, then clean house. That's just me

If she gets the dress, let her be in the wedding. If she doesn't get a dress or become involved, it's going to be super awkward for her. I'd let it go and see what happens. I don't see a disaster either way.