Is it bad that I’m not excited for the wedding?

Goodness, I wouldn't be excited if people were treating me the way you're describing either. Are there any specific scenarios coming up that you're uncomfortable with? I know you mentioned your personal boundaries. I'm not sure how much can really be changed with your wedding being next month, but I'm sure that there are some things that you can do to feel better!

Girl yeah. I want to be excited and enjoy the ride while I’m on it but with how certain things went wrong and now about 2 months out I still don’t have everything together and done it made me a bit anxious. Prayer helps. I really want to enjoy it but I try not to anger myself for the mistakes a long the way. I imagined having everything done months ahead so all I have to do is relax and enjoy it. I don’t want to seem ungrateful either. It can be stressful though. The only advise I have is to pray and try to look at the brighter side of things. which can be hard at times.

View Quoted Comment I’ve been talking with my partner and maid of honor about it and they’ve been trying really hard to help me make some of the last few planning points something that I want or WE want as a couple. Ultimately I know it’s just one day and even if it all sucks it shouldn’t matter. But I’m hoping that my mentality will take a better turn soon.

View Quoted Comment I wish I could like comment as well as reply; thank you for the reminder to pray. 😊

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It's only one day, but it's one of the biggest days of your life! Do you have time or budget to do some pre-wedding pampering? Maybe you could schedule a couples massage for you and your FS? Not only will it help you relax and have quality time together, but it can also help your posture for wedding photos.

Do you have set arrangements for the night before the wedding? Maybe you could spend the night alone together, wake up, eat breakfast, and enjoy some coffee together before parting ways.

No his parents aren’t allowing (or rather they’re higly against it) for us to spend any time together between the end of the rehearsal the night before and the time I walk down the aisle. His mom sort of just planned everything without asking and if I said no it made me look ungrateful so I just let it happen. The night before I’m just going to sleep at my sisters house probably (I live in a different state than where the wedding is being held so I don’t want to do a lot of driving). My MOH is wonderful though, she’s been doing tons of planning for my bachelorette party and has been making everything as chill and low-key as possible (which is what I like) so she’s been helpful in taking away some of the stress and dread.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I hear ya. I'm a very low key person. A wedding wasn't on my highest list of priorities. I think people have good intentions and also do not recognize that some of their traditions are outdated or don't apply. I think it's normal to anticipate the issues. Truly when the day comes I think you'll enjoy yourself.

I feel you. I'm not really looking forward to the wedding. Too much drama and attention. I hope you can find enjoyment when your day comes!

I feel this way about my FH regarding planning. He has made every single planning decision really annoying and everytime I ask him something he gets pissy in which I tell him he's being a bad fiance. Idc because he doesn't appreciate everything I am doing and he's disrespectful about it. I'm like do you even want to get married or not? Because you're being so dramatic for no reason. I shouldn't have to ask 5,000 times for his help and it's mostly for him to just decide or look at something. I am looking forward to being done with planning so I can just buy decor on my own time and distress. These past and couple more months are so wedding heavy it's frustrating. We have to get over the hurdle of engagement session, picking cake vendor and florist, dealing with our venue getting details wrong, finalizing registry, and sending STDs then I want to relax.

Nope, nothing wrong with you.

I'm not excited for mine either, in fact I'm kind of dreading it. I can't wait to marry my FH, but I realized about 6 months into the planning process, and after I had already spent a TON of money, that I would have rather just done a small courthouse wedding.

I feel like I'm just going to be pulled from place to place and not be able to just enjoy myself. I also don't really like being the center of attention so I'm not really sure what I was thinking when I agreed to a big traditional wedding. Just thinking about the shower gives me anxiety, let alone the actual wedding.

I just keep reminding myself that everybody I love is going to be there, so How can it not be fun? Right?

I wasn't excited about the planning and party aspect of the wedding. I was excited about the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment I totally understand about how you feel like you’re going to be pulled from place to place and don’t like being the center of attention. I’m really introverted and it gets worse around my family because all they do is make me feel bad about myself (it doesn’t matter the occasion either. They’ve talked down about me to my face at my birthday parties before). And they know I hate have a lot of attention on me so they’re deliberately doing that to make me “get over it.” So far I’ve been deflecting all of the attention onto my partner but he really hates that I’m not standing up for myself.

His mom originally planned the whole day where I had no breaks and no downtime and I told her I had already planned out my day and she just sort of... overwrote my plans... it gave me a bit of an anxiety attack and I cried for a while thinking about how miserable I’ll be with no break. Eventually she scheduled in some down time but I already made up my mind that I’m going to dip out for a couple hours to have some time by myself.

View Quoted Comment I’m not really excited for anything during that day. Not even the ceremony all that much 😢 which sucks.

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That sounds awful!

Good for you to stand up for yourself.

I have a block of time between hair/ makeup and pre ceremony pictures where I am demanding everyone hard stop and let me sit down and eat something.

You gotta look out for number one, or else ya end up stepping in number two!

You are going to have to learn to set limits with your future mother-in-law or she will run your life (and your children's lives) forever. Her invasive bossiness is not going to stop when the wedding is over.

You can get help with this problem on DWIL, where they have seen it all and know what to do--just Google it and starting reading.

View Quoted Comment She’s mentioned before that she likes being able to control things and actively knows that she’s really inserting herself into our lives. It seems like to his parents I’m the girl that’s taking up a whole new part of their first (and only) son’s life. He’s moving far away to a different state (it’s actually barely even 2 hours with toll roads). I get that they’re going to be protective and want nothing less than the best for him. Plus I’ve been 80% independent of my parents ever since I was 16 or 17 so it feels very odd and invasive to have to talk to his parents about our relationship and where we will be living and what we want to do for the wedding all of the wedding details. My parents are more of the type of people that trust my decisions and if they feel like I’m making a big mistake will intervene. My FH also sees that I’m feeling very underspoken so he’s been trying to help me have a voice.

She admits she's a control freak? Well, that's more honest than they usually are.

I hope you don't want to be controlled by her, and I hope even more that your fiancé can learn to escape from her. I really recommend DWIL and reading "Nice Girl." Good manners and "not causing trouble" (you are not the person causing trouble here; she is) can be such a trap when having to deal with someone who feels entitled to run your life. (Actually, you can be polite but not controlled; see below.)

You don't have to respond to anything that feels invasive with anything more than "Oh, we've got that covered" or "That doesn't work for us" or "We'll see when the time comes" or 'It will be fine" or "We'll think about it." Polite, but no information.

She will probably fight like hell to keep him under her control and now you as well. I assume you want to run your own life and have privacy and autonomy. They may want the best for him, but they're the ones defining "the best," aren't they? What if you and he want a different "best," the best picked by the two of you?

DWIL can help you with all of this.

View Quoted Comment I’ll definitely look into it, thank you! Again I wish I could also “like” comments so: ❤️

Very best wishes to you.