Is It All Right to Have a Boy as a Flower Girl In a Wedding?

Sarah, I'm so proud of you and your son! I think he should be himself, with the bride permitting. If it is agreed he wear a dress, go for it. If it is agreed he wear an outfit similar to the ring bearers (my personal preference for uniformity), own it.

It sounds like he will have a great time regardless of the attire he has, and I am so excited for him! I wouldn't say he has to "pass" for a girl, but rather do whatever is most comfortable for all parties in decision making, and whatever makes him feel the most confident.

I'm excited to hear how it goes!

Typically flower girl represent the innocence of the bride, however we no longer live in 1920. Lol.
It's really up to you and your husband to be.
One of the groomsmen wanted to be a bridesmaid.... But I veto that quickly and so did my fiance.

It's really up to you! And if you don't want to do it. Explain to your son it's nothing personal, that you accept him for who he is, however you don't desire to have a flower girl.

Let your child choose the attire, the hair style, and call it a flower child or something. I agree, I think it takes a different kind of people to be so open and willing to allow freedom of expression. Certainly gives hope for this child to be able to feel free to move past gender barriers and be comfortable in themself at whatever capacity. Everyone has an embarrassing photo of them as a child that they dont want other people to see. This should not be a deciding factor. 9 is certainly old enough to make decisions for yourself. If your friend is happy with it, and you are that kind of mom, I love it

Additionally. I hated wearing dresses growing up and hated it even more when I was forced to wear one(especially with tights!) I think it is much better to have the kids in my wedding comfortable in their outfits

Do you allow him to wear girls clothing to school or in public normally as he is going through this phase. If not, I would wonder why you would allow him to dress like a girl for the wedding. Why not a flower boy as some have mentioned earlier? I personally have a different view on such phases. I have no phobias and am not a basher of others preference. I have a child that is a lesbian and do not like her dressing like a male because no matter who she choses to love she is still a female. Agian that is my baby and I love her always. By the way she doesn't dress like a male at least not around me. However, my point is if it is just a phase for him why not steer him towards a suit instead of the dress?

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Thanks for the feedback. You’ve been very helpful. You said I should steer him toward a suit rather than a dress? Thank you for suggesting that, but he will most definitely be wearing a dress! We already have a pretty dress picked out for him. Thank you.

My friend got married last summer. She has a 4 yr old boy who at that time had really long - like mid-back length hair. She wanted him to be in her wedding so she curled his hair, dolled him up in a frilly dress she bought at a resale shop and arrived with him at the church. A lot of people had a fit about it, including him, but she made him do it anyway. I don't know that it was that traumatic for him but there are going to be a LOT of pictures of him in that dress that are going to resurface for years. I can't imagine he's going to be happy about that. And about a week after the wedding, she got his hair cut like a boy... finally.

I second (or third) that the kiddo can be a flower child. Let them do whatever is most comfortable. I would strongly encourage you not to try to “make him pass” for a girl... let the kiddo lead the conversation and under no circumstances should you force them to do or wear something that they are not asking for.

I’m excited to see your update that you two have already selected a pretty dress!! I would check out this post from another wedding planning site I love about flower children: https://apracticalwedding.com/flower-boy/

If your son is interested to, and you best friend the bride is interested to try it, by all means let him be the flower girl.