Is a seating chart necessary?

I never understand when people think making seating arrangements (more specifically table assignments) is so much work - but that guests will be able to satisfactorily do the same job within minutes of entering for the reception.

Emily, if I went to a wedding and some people got assigned a table and I did not, I would discretely walk to the ladies room, rip up check in my card (I normally give cash at weddings), and write a smaller one, reflecting that I am not one the VIPs.

Every guest should get the same choice of food, alcohol, and an assigned table. Not just the important ones. Someone will get the table you consider undesirable, if there are any. That will happen whether you assign tables or not. You should be doing your best to select a venue that has nice tables for all.

If I were seated alone with my finance, I would be very self conscious. I would feel like no one liked us.

Yes, assign tables.

Of all of the weddings I've been to, there has never been assigned seating. Granted, most are more laid back than what is mainstream and the receptions do not include alcohol or much dancing. I have never seen an issue with it and most people will keep in mind that the wedding is about you, not them. My reception will not have assigned seating.

Ummm, yes! like all these other ladies are saying, you don't need to assign seats but tables are completely needed!

Do you really want to cause conflict at your wedding or make people feel uncomfortable? plus I also want to make sure my closest are towards the front, my dad, my in laws, etc.

@brittany, I'd say it depends on your crowd. I've been to about 10 weddings, 2 of which had assigned seats. I've never had a problem either way, nor did any of my friends who were guests. But if you have people in your crowd who would leave or rip up their check, well... do you want those people there? I have never heard of such things happening; if you care enough about someone to invite them, hopefully they care enough about you to not be so pissed/reactionary over where they'll sit for two hours.

UO but for your size list you may be fine. My cousin had a casual wedding of 65ish and didn't assign tables and it was fine. The other weddings I went to recently assigned tables.

I'm currently struggling with this as well, not because it's extra work but because my venue is wonky so people will most likely end up in two separate rooms separated by glass and I'd hate for those who want the more indoor seating to be stuck under the atrium or vice versa or to feel like they are at the reject table inside. My venue also has lots of wide benches and will have cocktail rounds so people can mingle and not be bound to a seat.

Depending on RSVPs I'm going to make a decision about assigning tables. If I have enough declines that everyone can be under the atrium I'll probably do it especially since some family members are on the outs...

Emily, why would you care enough to assign some people to tables but not others? To publicly say, others are important, but not you? Will your assigned tables fit all family? Or will someone have to explain to a cousin, nope, not your table?

@Emily - the reception ceases to be about just the couple the minute even one guest is invited. Guest comfort should be the top priority. I would also leave immediately after dinner if I ended up at a table by myself because there were so many extra seats to accommodate the lack of the seating plan. It's a comfort issue - if a couple can't take a few minutes to consider their guests' comfort, I would assume they didn't care if I was there and only invited me and everyone not at the VIP table for gifts.

Please, folks, take an hour to assign tables and make some sort of seating chart.

Double Post

Reserved for family works if you're only inviting the exact amount that will fit at that table trust me, this apparent lack of planning is well planned. No third cousins twice removed or anything like that to worry about

Emily, even in that situation it does not work. Are you having any attendants? When are pictures being taken? Will they walk in late, and get split up? Or are you having assigned tables for them?

Emily you will, respectfully saying this, never convince me or karen, who could be me!

And Rebeca, good luck with that

Oh I know the internet is no place to change people's minds about anything just trying to offer the other side to the popular opinion being posted!

Karen, thanks for trying to point out problems, I appreciate it! But even with all those it still works. Trust me, my way might not be the popular one, but it is well thought out!

I am assigning tables so that our parents and grandparents can get a great spot up front. This also will (hopefully) eliminate people dragging chairs to other tables because there aren't enough seats at one they want and then we have like 15 at one table and 3 at another. No. People could still potentially do that, but they'll look like kind of an ass if they do.

Thanks guys!!! I will add a seating chart to my to do list....and will assign tables

I will admit, the seating chart was the item I put off as long as I could. I thought it was going to be a big pain in the butt. However, once I got started it came together rather quickly.

@Brittany - on behalf of your socially awkward guests I thank you.

YAY Brittany! Well put Mandi

Emily, I think you should reconsider.

Here's why:

- I've been to weddings where only a few tables were assigned and it does make people feel bad. Just because YOU didn't feel bad doesn't mean other people won't.

- Couples and families may be split up (or forced to awkwardly ask other people to move, which makes everybody feel bad)

- People who have social anxiety or are shy around new people will be extremely uncomfortable during the entire dinner portion of your reception. Yikes.

- Honestly? People will talk badly about it. Sitting with strangers or being split from family will put a huge damper on the wedding. Especially if you have assigned seats for those who deem more important than other guests. Maybe not at your wedding, but once they are in the car they will talk about how offended and uncomfortable they were.

I'm not saying everyone will be offended, and I'm not saying it was not well-thought, but there will be people who are offended and it's a very, very easy fix. Assigning tables really isn't so much work that you can get away with not bothering to do it.