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Alisha
Super October 2018

Is 14 too old to be a ring bearer?

Alisha, on October 11, 2016 at 10:46 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 25

Our wedding will be a week before my youngest brother turns 14. My other brother and sister will both be in the bridal party, and I'm closest with my youngest brother, so I want him to have an important role in the ceremony, beyond usher or reading. Is 14 too old for him to carry the rings?

25 Comments

Latest activity by San, on October 11, 2016 at 1:20 PM
  • Fitz
    Master August 2018
    Fitz ·
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    Ask him his thoughts on it

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  • FreshToDeathAng
    Master September 2016
    FreshToDeathAng ·
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    Seems too old but I suppose you could just ask him how he feels. Why can't he just be a groomsman?

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    If he wants to, no it's not.

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    My son is 7 and he saw a little boy carrying rings on a wedding video and said "That is for babies" so I would def ask... but - a 14 year old? I'm thinking he won't want to.

    Rachel/Centerpiece 2.0

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  • Alisha
    Super October 2018
    Alisha ·
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    I asked him and he said (as a joke) that he'll be a flower girl.

    And I feel that he's too young to be a groomsman, and I don't want him to feel left out, as he'll be at least 10 years younger than everyone else in the bridal party.

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  • Alisha
    Super October 2018
    Alisha ·
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    Maybe my brother isn't a typical boy then, but he doesn't mind, he's a pretty easy going kid. The hardest part will be getting him to smile for pictures!

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  • Wendy
    Expert October 2016
    Wendy ·
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    Well my daughter is 14 and I wanted to incorporate her too. She's a typical teenager and really didn't want to be a BM. I did take her out to pick a dress and it just so happens that what she liked is similar to BMs outfitSmiley smile I'm just having her help me so that she feels included. Letting her have a say in my makeup as she loves makeup and helping with the playlist.

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  • TAP
    Master September 2018
    TAP ·
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    If you want to keep him included I'd just ask him how he feels about it. I don't think there's an issue with him being 14

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  • SoontobeSchultz
    Super June 2018
    SoontobeSchultz ·
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    He could be a junior groomsmen. I have a niece and nephew who will be 11 and 12 by the time we get married. If my niece says no, I'm considering her to be a junior bridesmaid. That way she wouldn't be left out.

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  • Alisha
    Super October 2018
    Alisha ·
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    Hah, I'm trying to picture asking him for help with makeup! I took him to a bra store with me once and he was mortified. That's sweet that you found a great way to involve your daughter!

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  • MoweryMe
    VIP April 2017
    MoweryMe ·
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    I personally would not because I think RBs as cute little tykes not teens, but it's really up to you and him!

    He's not too young to be a Junior Groomsman :-)

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  • Hot Like Bea
    Master January 2017
    Hot Like Bea ·
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    I don't think so. Usually when little kid's are the "ring bearers" they don't even carry the rings. Your brother is old enough to be trusted with the rings, so that's an important job. If you present it like that, he might be on board.

    FH's niece and nephew, 8 and 10, are our ring bearers and FH's other nice, 8, is our flower girl. All are happy about being in the wedding. It really just depends on how they feel about it.

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  • Wendy
    Expert October 2016
    Wendy ·
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    @Alisha...yeah makeup probably won't work for himSmiley winking But just come up with other ways for him to feel included like music etc...

    You could still have him in pictures even if he doesn't walk. I am!

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  • Alisha
    Super October 2018
    Alisha ·
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    @Wendy, he will be in pictures, no matter how much he hates them. Smiley smile I'll probably have to bribe him to smile nicely with a trip to Cici's or something Smiley winking

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  • Rachel
    Devoted September 2017
    Rachel ·
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    My FH's nephew is going to be 12, we are asking him to be a 'Jr. Groomsman'.

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  • Alisha
    Super October 2018
    Alisha ·
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    Pictures like this were a high school dance tradition for us, so I can't wait to do it in my wedding dress...but he'll probably be taller than me by then Smiley sad


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  • Zandria
    Devoted October 2017
    Zandria ·
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    There is no age limit on ring bearers or flower girls, I've seen brides let their grandparents play those roles before, it's your wedding so get the people you find most important to do the important things, inclusion is best no matter the age, weddings don't have rules you make them up as you go

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  • Wendy
    Expert October 2016
    Wendy ·
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    Cici's that cheap! I've already agreed to a full set & pedicure. And I'm sure she's not done with her demands.

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  • OGSue
    Master August 2016
    OGSue ·
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    I dunno, please are asking their grandmother's to be flower girls now, I don't think there are any rules to ages. Ask him if he wants to be part of the bridal party and say what you were thinking and let him decide.

    I could be wrong maybe there's an in-between age that is still considered odd.

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  • MMB
    Master January 2017
    MMB ·
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    I think it's up to him. It's kind of like grandma flower girls...

    Maybe UO: I don't think age really matters for these roles, as long as everyone is on board.

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