Inviting People You Know Won't Come

I think, especially for family, it's the thought that counts. Even if you know they won't make it, go ahead and send the invite. If they don't show, that's their choice; if they don't get invited, it's your doing and you may never hear the end of it if they are upset about it.

I disagree with the money grabbing thing. I think some people think everything you do is being "gift/money grabby". Which is getting a little ridiculous to me. As long as you don't give these people a card that says "we are accepting gifts at honeyfund.com/xxxx I say it's fine.

It's a nice thing to do to send someone an invitation , even if you think they won't come. I do want to say , be prepared for if they do want to come. You never know they might come. We sent an invite to a distant cousin of mine who I was sure not going to come , but they surprised me and said they're coming. I was not upset that there was a "last minute expense of another guest", instead I was happy that they wanted to make the trip from Iowa to CA to celebrate our wedding with us.

I would've loved if we got a 100% yes rate as well. I love seeing family I haven't seen awhile. And it sucks that some ppl only show up at funerals ...

I only see it as gift-grabbing if it's someone who's not close to you and your SO. We have guests like this as well (all elderly and live out-of-state) and are sending them an invitation. No matter what the event (wedding, birthdays, graduations, etc.) our families send them invitations.

It's not gift grabby. It's to make sure those people feel included.

I invited those I knew couldn't come because, also, their plans could have changed and they'd be able to come after all!

No it would not, an examples of gift grabbing is

Inviting people you and/or you family has not talked to in years knowing they will not come just to get a gift

Inviting over the amount of people you can afford because you know they will not come in hopes for gifts

Inviting someone you barely know because they have alot of money or give very nice gifts

I will be inviting lots of people I'm pretty sure will not come, but I have to, they are my fiance family (uncles cousins grandmas) and my dads sister. I have no intention in getting gifts but I will not exclude them from the option of comeing (plus I am budgeting like they are going to be there)

I don't think it's gift grabby to still send them a invite. I will be doing the same thing for some of my relatives that live out of state. I think it's a nice gesture to let them know that you are getting married and they are invited. I wouldn't want them to feel left out and I think some people like to keep those momentos even if they know they can't make it. I think gift grabby is more of what place it is coming from. I know when I'm doing it I'm not expecting a gift.

I think it's fine to invite guests in that case. I see it more of a kind gesture and respectful to extend an invite! I personally wouldn't think that you were gift-grabbing from me if I was to receive the invite. I know my family, even if I knew they couldn't come, would be offended if they didn't at least receive an invite.

Yeah, I agree with the other posters. I have some family on the East Coast that I know wont be able to make it, but I will be sending an invite none-the-less because they're family and I want them to know that I'd love to have them there if they could make it.

I think as long as it is someone who you would want to have attend if they could then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I think the bigger risk is not inviting people you know won't be able to attend and offending them by making them think they aren't wanted.

I have decided that all family will get an invite even if they can't come. I know my FH great aunt most likely won't be able to come but she LOVE getting invites. She saves them

Awesome. There were a few that my mom wanted me to add just to get gifts. (cousins that I don't talk to, don't like, won't come....) I wouldn't put them on the list for that reason but there were a few that I know would come if they could and I would like for them to come but I'm 99% sure that they won't (unless they hit the lottery). I would be happy if they could come and will plan on them coming (until they RSVP no for the final counts)

I agree that in the case of family, it's not gift grabby. Maybe if it was your third cousin once removed that you have never met, but not close family. We have several family members that fall into this category (10 or so) and we are absolutely sending them an invite.

All these other responses have reminded me of my own issues with family invites. I guess I'm going to invite my dad's parents and extend that olive branch and let them decide whether or not to take it. They don't care much for me or my mom. Nearly 26 years later and they're still upset that I'm a girl and not a boy...

I think that if it's family or a really close friend then it's not gift grabby at all. We invited my great aunt and uncle even though we knew they wouldn't be able to make it, but they're family and knew they would appreciate the thought.

In this situation I think you're okay. If it was some random cousin you've met twice then it could be borderline, but these people you know and love, and would come if they could. I have 6 great aunts I have to invite so no one gets upset, but they're a little old to travel and I really doubt any will come. You're not alone!

Half of my family lives in different states than the wedding is in.. I'm inviting them because on the off chance that they can make it, I'd love for them to come! if they can't, then at least I know no one was left out of the thought process.

Not gift grabby. My great aunt and uncle couldn't come, but she told she wanted an invite. A lot of hubby's family is out of state and we still invited them even thought we knew they weren't coming. This way they know we did want them there with us.

I would love it if everyone on my list came to my wedding. That's why they are invited, I want them there! I don't think it's gift grabby. I always invite family no matter the circumstance unless it's extreme (like violent person).

I agree - not considered gift grabby. FH and I have many relatives and good friends who live OOT. Even if it's highly unlikely they'd attend, we want them to feel included. They'd probably be pretty miffed if they didn't receive an invitation.

I don't think it is. I think someone like an Aunt is someone who if she were closer would be there.