Inviting People to the shower when not invited to the Wedding?

I think that if you are close enough to these couple of co-workers then they would understand that the wedding is just for family and close friends, as long as you explain it to them. I think they would be touched that you thought of them for the shower!! This is just my opinion, I'm going off how my co-workers would act to that! And I think they would be happy!

I'm doing the exact same thing with my bachelorette party. My wedding is small with only family and a few friends but for my girls' night out I want all my friends to join in the festivities. I have had some people say they think it will be rude to invite people who aren't invited to the wedding but i think if they are real friends then they will get it. I know I wouldn't take it personally if I was invited to one and not the other. Today most people understand the money constraints on weddings and they should see that you are only trying to include them where you can. good luck

Maybe i am in the minority on this one, but i think it is very rude to invite people to the shower and not to the wedding. I think it will come off making you look greedy for gifts....and make those people feel that they are "not good enough" to make the cut for the wedding. I think those people will feel the need to bring a gift just out of pure etiquette. Plus if you are close enough to invite them to the shower, why wouldnt you invite them to the wedding? would 1 or 2 coworkers really put your guestlist number over the edge?

I would invite the 1 or 2 people to the wedding but then i feel like im leaving the other co-workers out. Then I would have the invite them to keep peace at work which pushes my guest list really far out. I maybe be able to invite more when it gets closer to the day of the wedding but im not sure yet

I also feel as though it is rude to invite those to the shower that you will not be inviting to the wedding. The idea behind a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. To me, inviting someone to a bridal shower says, "I want a gift from you, but don't want to pay for you to be at my wedding." I would suggest that if you wouldl ike to invite your co-workers/friends to a celebration of your wedding, maybe do a bridal luncheon and explain that no gifts are necessary. That way you can have people there, but it doesn't seem like you are just asking for a gift.

You seem like a nice person with a very nice reputation. Do not spoil it by inviting friends to the shower and not the wedding. It seems tough but people would get their feelings hurt and this would just bring bad karma to your wedding. You can not please everyone and as soon as you try there will always be someone left out. Gift or no gift if they are not invited to the wedding then please consider not inviting them to the shower. I have sat in many consults with couples that have lost friends because of this very subject. There are several books in the library that can help with proper wedding ediquitte. If you are having an intimate wedding then people should understand. Good luck and keep smiling

I think it tacking to invite people to a shower and not your wedding. The message it sends it that your good enough for a shower and bring a gift but not good enough for me to spend the extra money to include you. If you co-workers are important to you then they will throw you a shower to cover you co-workers.

Yes, it is considered bad form to invite anyone to a pre-wedding celebration, if they aren't invited to the wedding.

A great way to include your co-workers, or other extended friends, in your happiness, is to host a dinner party when you get back from your honeymoon. Some ideas are a casual harvest-themed dinner, a wine tasting (i.e. each guests brings their favorite red, and you serve chocolate), or a holiday dessert potluck. This way, if anyone brings a gift, it is for you two, as party hosts. No worries, no hurt feelings.

I think it is fine. A good friend of mine was recently married out of town inviting family only. She had a shower and invited me, I was thrilled since I couldnt make her wedding.

I too think that it would be extremely rude to invite someone to your shower and not your wedding. A bachlorette party would be different because that's a party night. At a shower, a person would feel obligated to bring a gift. It's like telling people that they're good enough to bring a gift but not be invited to your wedding. Invite the to you bachlorette instead.

Hi congrats...i am going throught the same thing, but i am going to invite the ppl that i cant invite to the wedding...maybe you should try to fit some of the ppl into that is important that you want to come and just have a good time....

enjoy

Here is a Big Idea!

** To all brides that are having the same issue**

I am having a super small wedding, I would love for everyone to come but its just not possible. SO instead I plan on throwing a " House Warming Party" once we move in and are settled. Then I will put on the invitation the registy information and such. This makes it all the more so easier. No one feels awkward or strange about being invited to a "wedding shower" with out being invited to the " wedding". This keeps moral high and my reputaion safe. Not to mention gives me time to settle in after the crazy that is a wedding. So take my advice don't ruin good friendships over a silly party. Save the fun for when your rested and ready to open presents! Because isn't that the whole reason we throw Wedding Showers!!!

May your wedding and wedding shower be everything you expected!

It is flat out rude to invite guests to a shower and not your Wedding. I was at my sister's Bridal Shower that my Grandma, Aunt, & Great Aunt Hosted, and my Grandma's friend whom we don't know but knows our dad insisted on being invited to the shower knowing she wasn't invited to the Wedding. I was thinking to myself who is this woman, she has no relation to my sister, if she's not invited to the Wedding why is she here (not to mention she was rude the whole time trying to hurry my sister up to open her gifts). Really if your co-workers know you're getting married and you're close to them, who knows they might have Surprise Shower planned for you at work before your big day. If there's only 1 or 2 of them, 2 people really won't throw off your budget too include them as well.

It is poor etiquette to invite someone to your shower and not your wedding. I would leave it alone

For my sister's wedding...I invited one of MY friends to her bridal shower. She understood she wasn't invited to the wedding because my sister was having a very small wedding with just family and her close friends. We had a lot of fun at the bridal shower. But then my sister had room to add a few more guests because some declined so I invited this friend. The friend declined and I heard later that she was insulted she was invited last minute to the wedding and only take the place of someone who wasn't able to go. What the??? I was confused because she's the one who wanted to go to the bridal shower knowing she wasn't invited to the wedding and said that was okay! I'll never do that again! For my wedding..the same sis that just got married wants to invite one of her friends who went to her wedding, and I just don' thave room for her in my wedding cus we're already over 30 guests as it is so I told her no...even if her friend says it's okay cus...I want to avoid another bad situation.

It is totally fine to invite people to your bridal shower without inviting them to the wedding. I'm having a small wedding and I don't think it's cool to have people give you two gifts. If I invite people to my bridal shower and those same individuals to my wedding then im asking for two gifts.. Not cool. Mainly woman attend showers and they are usually friends and coworkers. Close family and friends are attending my wedding and I'm not apologizing for that. I don't expect gifts at my bridal shower, just friends and coworkers to hang out enjoying good food and a few glasses of wine. If they give me sonething, i will appreciate it and send them thank you cards. Proper Etiquette on this subject is really bases on preference.

We are having a small wedding too. We decided to ask those that are on our B list if they would like to be invited to the shower and bachelor/bachelorette parties. Everyone was touched and said they would like to be evented. They knew the situation with the limited space at the venue and were completely understanding.