Inviting mom's friends to my wedding

I say let her .. you will still have plenty of money left .. and are you two not contributing at all ??

Sorry. It does entitle her.

Or just pay for your wedding yourselves. It's over a year away.

She's helping pay, she says who gets invited. YOU dont get to dictate what someone else does with THEIR money. If you want your wedding a certain way, YOU pay.

@Karen if you include all our relatives then my parents guests are well over 70 of our 228. My point is that by accepting a good chunk of change from her mom, she needs to be a little more accommodating!

I think it's also important to find out what she was planning on covering with her $15,000. If she had planned on that money going towards bar tab and flowers then she'll either have to give more money or cut her list. If she doesn't want to actually contribute to anything except the price of her friends then so be it.

"With that said, let her know that with the additional guests, you will need more money from her to cover the cost."

WTF? The 15K isn't enough???? That's more than many people spend on their whole wedding and the OP is throwing a tantrum that your mom wants to invite 30 of her own friends. We have some pretty spoiled princesses on this thread.

OP, you don't want your mom's friends, then don't take her money. Pay for the wedding yourself like an adult.

I don't think her contributing money entitles her to do whatever she wants, though; it's still OP's wedding. Whoever pays has a SAY- not license to to make decisions against the bride's wishes. Compromise. She should be able to invite friends, definitely; not everyone she knows. Also, not sure of the venue size, can you even physically fit all these extra people?

If my mom gave me $15k I would not care if she brought FH's ex gfs to the wedding. That is a hell of a lot of money! What is 30 more people if your venue can hold them and she is paying for them?

ETA: I also just want to throw out there that with 250 people you probably won't even be bothered by your mom's friends. That is a lot of people. Also, $15k is what my entire wedding costs so I can honestly not feel sympathy for you. It does not matter what you wanted to use the money for there is no way that all of your mom's friends cost more that $15k and therefore she gets to invite who she wants as long as they don't cost over that. If you don't like that then it is time to return your mom's money and pay for your own wedding.

We are having a rule of no people that we have both never met, HOWEVER, if my family was contributing that much money, I'd probably loosen the reigns a little, or a lot. Let her invite people, or don't let her contribute (and control) that much

She is giving money but using it on herself (her friends ) don't take the money especially since she wants u to use it how she wants you to use it

Despite her giving you money, you already invited 20 of her friends. She doesn't need 30 more, just politely say no.

OK, Heartbweeps, so lets say they say no. Then what? It's the MOM's money they're spending.

MrsMcK, it doesn't matter what you think is right. You're not the one with the money.

Malwen229, what if you haven't met the partner of one of your guests?

I think 15k would be more than enough to help accommodate the people she's wanting to invite. Assuming you have the space at your venue, I would say let her invite them. They may not even all come!

@Janae, I don't think it's fair to call OP a brat, aside from the CG's that state name-calling is a no no. Flagged. She's not being a brat. She's asking a question.

My mom said she would buy my dress last week and I was ready to throw her a party lol 15k is a lot of money let her invite her friends you probably won't notice them anyways! If it's really a problem politely tell her she can't invite anyone and give her the money back.

So here is what I don't understand...

I thought weddings were much like parties. Only about 60% of the invitations sent are actually accepted. Send the invite. Most probably won't show anyway and your mama is still happy.

Save money so you can make additional payments in the event you get more yes RSVPs than you anticipate

How many people did you have on your guest list already? Would these people put you over that 220 limit? If so, tell your mom "we can only add X-number of people because otherwise that will put us over the cap."

But if they'll fit without cutting out people you want there, then what's the harm?

Everyone keeps saying "those who pay have a say." Well, the OP's inlaws are giving double what her mom is. If there is room at the venue, they are the ones who deserve more invites and not the OP's mom. According to her numbers, the mom's $15k only covers half the food and beverage costs.

The OP also says that the majority of the guests are her family members. Thus, the bride's side, which has contributed 1/3 or less of the money has controlled over half of the guest list and wants to add even more. OP you need to break down the true per person cost to your mom. I don't mean the price your venue will give you, but the actual per person breakdown including fees, tips, food, alcohol, photography, officiant, welcome bags, invitations, etc. Then multiply that number by the guests already on your side.

You are setting the stage for a bad start with your future inlaws if they pay for 2/3s of your wedding and get a lot less than half the guests.

I hate when people give money and that "entitles" them to things. I get it, but I hate when a person gives money and is demanding like that. Id personally decline the money because it's not worth the strings attached

Kirackle, the FILs are paying for food/alcohol. The mom's 15K should be spent however she likes. She wants it spent on paying for her friends to attend. This is well within her rights. If the OP accepts money, then the person donating it gets to earmark it for whatever he/she wants. Likewise, if the FILs decided they wanted their 30K to go toward something other than the venue, they get to make that determination. It is not okay to accept 15K from Mom, then tell her "sorry, I'm going to spend this on whatever I want, but you don't get to invite anyone else because my in-laws didn't." No. The OP has two choices: give back the money or spend it on what Mom wants. No other options here.

Ummmm with that kind of budget you can plan another wedding just for your moms friends. It's really not going to be that big of a deal considering what you have to work with. I feel like this is one of those that you just need to let go & let it happen. Good luck in the planning!