Inviting moms boyfriend?

This is your Mom's boyfriend, they are a social unit. 100% I would invite him.

I am on the fence for this one.

View Quoted Comment They haven’t met yet. Wouldn’t it be weird if the first time they meet is at the rehearsal dinner?

View Quoted Comment Same lol. It’s a tricky situation. Especially cause of everything my mom put my dad through and how it’s still relatively a “fresh wound”.

Probably an unpopular opinion but I wouldn't.

View Quoted Comment Why? Why does your Mom's bf need a special introduction to your Dad? They arent together anymore...

View Quoted Comment If you can expect them to be 100% civil for your big day then go for it.
You could offer a plus one to your dad as well. There isn't any reason to explain that you are doing so because mom is bringing her BF.

Yes. Your parents both need to be able to be adults around each other as you are doing adult things. Your dad's feelings should be considered but not at the expense of your mom's feelings. Talk to your dad in advance to let him know and see if there is anything you can do to help him feel more comfortable. Then don't sit them at the same table. Sit them as far apart as you can make possible. Your mom is dating this man and even if your dad doesn't like it, he is a part of her life and they deserve to be treated like any other couple invited to your wedding.

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This. If you don't make a big show/deal about it then there won't be a huge deal made. Give respect to try to make people comfortable but take it from someone who has spent years dealing with parental issues - you cannot be responsible for them. What about when you have kids? Kids birthday parties? Set a precedent for how those will go by not making this a bigger deal than it needs to be (I don't mean that in a rude way, but if you play too much into it you can make bigger problems for yourself in the future)

View Quoted Comment I understand that but my little brothers are living with my mom. Wouldn’t my dad like to be introduced to a man who is around the boys constantly?

View Quoted Comment Totally get it. It’s been more of an after-thought than making it this huge deal. I was working on my invitations the other day and I just thought about it and was in a pickle on what is the proper etiquette here. Thank you!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your thoughts!

I would have a sit down and talk with your mom about this if you feel you can. Honesty and open communication can usually help most situations. Tell her that you are nervous about this and don't want your wedding to be remembered by anyone as the big meeting of your parents new and first relationships since their divorce. Tell her that you know the day is super important to her and important to your dad and you want to make sure both are comfortable so they can see their little girl get married. Let her know that the situation makes you very nervous, especially the very intimate rehearsal dinner. I do sort of agree that the bf should be invited, but she may understand and say he doesn't need to come or maybe try to compromise with the bf only being at the actual wedding where there will be so many people that it won't be so awkward one on one meeting?

This is tough but I would say he should be invited. It seems like it is going to be tough for your dad no matter what so the addition of the boyfriend may be painful, but he’s already going to not be thrilled in general. While I would invite the boyfriend I would also have a chat with your mom about it. She may not even want to bring him.

They are both adults. And should be expected to act like adults. You are not their babysitter or mediator. Both should get invites plus 1. And let them figure out if they invite or bring another person or not.

I'm inviting my mom's boyfriend, though my parents have been divorced for 12 years and my dad is remarried. My dad has not met her boyfriend and doesn't even know she is dating. The first time they meet will be the rehearsal dinner. It might be awkward but I feel like it would be inconsiderate to my mom if I don't invite her boyfriend. I know our situations are a bit different but since your mom and her boyfriend are a social unit and haven't only been dating a few weeks, etiquette says you should probably invite him. You know your parents best though, so really no one else will be able to say what is right for you to do. I wish you luck with whichever decision you make.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree. Granted your dad hasn't gotten over what your mom has done. It'll take some time for him to do that obviously. But both your mom and dad HAVE to be there. They are a big part of your life. Your taking pics with everyone except the other parent...how would you honestly feel about that?? You and your new husband had a blast and you wasn't able to share the joy and happiness with your other parent...

Granted, my dad was not present in my life but I still invited him. My mom isn't very pleased with that but at the end of the day, it's my day...not hers.

You don't want to have that feeling where you regret doing so. Maybe 🤔you should also TRY to sit your mom and dad down together and talk about it over coffee or something. It's YOUR day!!! They should be able to act like adults, respect you and your new husband on this beautiful day! I really hope all these suggestions help you and congratulations on your engagement 😁

View Quoted Comment He can like whatever he wants but unless its wrote into the divorce decree not much he can do. I have zero intention of my ex meeting my fiancé and he's constantly around my daughters.

You still have a while before invitations need to go out. Lots could change in that timeframe; dad could get a girlfriend, mom and boyfriend could break up, etc. I would wait it out and revisit this issue later.

At the end of the day you have to do what’s best for YOU! Yes, technically by etiquette rules you “should” invite him. BUT your mom cheated on your dad, which I’m sure was very hurtful to you! So I think she is lucky to be invited to your wedding at all, considering what she did, and I think you have every right not to invite her boyfriend if you don’t feel comfortable with him being there. On the other hand, if you do want to invite him, your dad will live and hopefully be able to focus on the fact that his daughter it getting married.