Inviting Kids to the Reception Only

No.

So many things wrong with this.

No. Think of it as a "joyful noise."

At mass last Saturday, after the Gloria was sung, a toddler clapped her hands and said "YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!" Our priest was great--he replied "I agree!"

Bursts of laughter and applause, it was wonderful

What are you expecting them to do with their kids during the ceremony? Leave them at the coat check or put them in cryostasis? Should they hire a sitter for 30 minutes?

@Elizabeth I'm in the same boat. I would like to not have any younger children attend the ceremony unless their parent is in the ceremony themselves. My own 2 children will be in my ceremony as my flower girl and ring bearer, however almost all of my family I'm planning on inviting have preschool age children. I don't have a problem with all the children attending the reception where the music alone will help drown out the children some, but I honestly would prefer a no children ceremony as well.

@Vishawn, you can prefer whatever you want. You can't tell people they can only bring their kids to your reception.

Kids or Kid Free. Do you expect people to leave and go pick up their kids after the wedding and then return for the reception? I would say since you are open to children, is there a room onsite for children where you can have someone watch them (like a nursery). Keep in mind this may offend people though.

Just do no kids.

How would the parents manage, logistically? Would they skip the wedding also, and only be invited to the reception? If they attend the wedding, would they leave their kids with a sitter, then go back and get them between the wedding and reception?

I recommend a no kids wedding and reception. Let the cousin find a sitter for both events or choose not to attend.

@ ALC to be honest a lot of my friends and family are understanding of this. They want to enjoy the evening just as much as we do and it is harder to do so when you have younger children to tend to. If some people feel offended by this request they simply do not have to attend. Less guests less money less stress

No. Either invite them to the whole thing or make it adults only. And if you invite kids from on side you should invite kids from the other side too. Unless you want one side upset that they had to pay for a babysitter when others didn't.

@Melissa the music drowning them out is strictly for my benefit lol

My children will be 10 and 14 at my wedding. I don't have to tend to any children on my day. And yes they can enjoy the reception with their children if they plan to bring them. Any responsible adult can keep watch over their child while having a good time. These are my personal opinions. Not to offend anyone I personally agree with @Elizabeth on this one. Especially if she decides to possibly record the ceremony, like I plan to, I wouldn't want to hear babies crying and children talking over our ceremony.

Vishawn, nobody is going to leave their kids home for the ceremony and go get them for the reception. You're going to get a ton of declines.

So if you invited my kids only to the ceremony, I'm either going to:

1) not attend the ceremony and just go to the reception, because what am I supposed to do with my kids for 30ish minutes?

2) not bring them at all

And none of that was said in an angry way, but just as a fact. I'm not going to pay a sitter for 30ish minutes to then leave and then go get my kids from somewhere. What your proposing, completely independent of etiquette, just doesn't make any sense.

@ALC I am ok with that but with the date being over a year away anything can happen

What are they supposed to do with the kids during the ceremony? Even if this was an okay thing to do, it doesn't even make sense.

Here's what doesn't make sense. I'm paying $30,000 for ONE day, that everyone says is supposed to be mine and FH's day. BUT there's all these stipulations..if you invite this person you have to invite that person, you have to have this, and do that, and say this, and pay for that, and wear this, and not that. THEN the one thing of the day that means the most to me, the actual ceremony, I'm supposed to risk not being able to hear my own vows over your kid having a tantrum when I know, for sure, these are no the kinds of parents who would scoop the kid up and take them outside when they are a distraction. I'm sorry I have an issue with that. I happily welcome these kids at the reception where there will be lots of things to see and touch and play with and lawn games and food and music, perfect for a family setting. But I don't think it's fair for etiquette purposes to have to deal with misbehaved kids because it's "not couth to not invite them and risk one or both parents having to miss the ceremony?" I thin I can live with that...

Who are you inviting that doesn't have the common sense to remove a child who is making noise?

If you don't want to invite kids, just don't invite kids. Problem solved! It's super simple. You just can't invite them to one part but not the other.

Is a child really going to be so loud that YOU won't be able to hear YOUR vows? I highly doubt that. Videographers are professionals. Discuss your concerns with them and see how they can help you as well. You're making a much bigger deal out of this than it needs to be.