This is a venting/ question post. So please bare with me.... Wondering if any of you have run into this situation before? and how you would resolve this.
We are giving most of our friends an option to bring their significant other with them, since they are in their mid-twenties so most of them are not married.
I have no problem inviting their plus-ones, because all of the relationships are long-term and serious relationships - except one.
The one person happened to be a groomsman - also a good friend from college for both my FH and I. He just started his first relationship (yay!) with someone he truly love earlier this year. We are happy for him. When he told us about the relationship in early March, it was obvious through context he wants to take her to our wedding. My first reaction was - why not? she is his serious girlfriend.
The wedding is in October 2022, and ever since March, I have been asking him to let us meet her through various different ways of phrasing it. From "hey, do you want to go on a double date?" to jokingly saying "why are you hiding her from us?". We asked him about 5 times in three months - that's a lot. There was never a direct "no", but to this day we still have not met his girlfriend yet.
After the save the dates went out to him, addressing both of their names, I asked again to meet his girlfriend, and the answer was "you guys are never free to meet her". That ticked me off. They have a stable relationship, the three of us have been close friends since college, she is invited to my wedding, and I asked him (pretty much begged him) to hang out with both of them so we can meet her. I even told him "I am not going to invite someone neither FH nor I have met to our wedding".
Not meeting her just doesn't sit right with me, my original plan is to have all the groomsmen's girlfriends/wives to get ready with me and my bridesmaid, I have met and hung out with most of them during college. Since most of the girlfriends/wives don't know the other guests, I want them to feel like they are not forgotten, and I would like them to join us while we were getting ready. I don't want to do that, if I have not met someone before the wedding.
Long story short - I am frustrated that the groomsman has been putting off letting us meet his girlfriend in a stable relationship. I don't want to invite someone neither my FH nor I have not met. We are preparing to send out the invitations in a month, so I need to figure out if she should be invited or not.
What would you do?
