Inviting Friend who is Married to Ex-friend

I wouldn't invite, you don't want any toxic people present on your wedding date.

Invite them as a couple, or not at all.

Depends how much you care about the friendship with her husband. “Ok terms” with him and toxicity with her, I’d say don’t invite. Agree with above you have to invite both or neither. Do you care if your friendship with her husband is over after this?

Don’t invite them to the wedding. Meet up with your friend at another time.

Remember, this is your wedding, not a college reunion. Your friend (ex-friends husband) has to know things are bad between you and his wife. If you guys are super close ouside of his connection to his wife (and you think his wife won't cause a scene) then invite them. If you are just people who used to travel in the same circles then don't invite either of them. The fact you have to ask means the right answer is probably not to invite them.

I would absolutely, positively not invite either one. This day is supposed to be memorable and enjoyable. You are asking for drama if you invite this couple. The focus will not be on you and hubby, but rather on your interactions (or lack there of) with the said couple.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this invite them both or don't invite them at all. Plus if you do invite just him, he will most likely not go. He will stand by his wife or at least he should regardless of who is right or wrong. I'd expect my fiance to stand by me and not go to my ex friends wedding just like I would do the same for him.

Like others have said. Invite them both or not at all. They are a married couple and should be invited as a unit. There will always be spouses/SO's of friends/family that we don't like or will not like us back, but it's one of those situations that we have to be able to deal with when it comes to celebrating big milestones with friends and family.

If it would be really odd to not include them (since they're part of the circle of friends) then I would definitely invite. If they are uncomfortable attending, they won't. Also totally fine to not invite them. But they both have to be one or the other.

How close are you, really? Is he a friend you still spend time with, talk to, etc? Or is it that you just have no hard feelings against him, even though there is animosity with his wife?
It’s a pretty much “shots fired” situation if you say “you can come but not your wife.” But if you two are currently close and seeing each other without his wife involved, then that ship has sailed and you should just ask him if he would want to come without her. If my spouse had a falling out with someone to the point that they had to cut ties, my loyalty would be to my spouse.

Are you really that close enough to invite him? Do you talk pretty often? I wouldn't want someone I know is toxic at my wedding, and if you invite him you have to invite her.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your thoughts on this. I think you're absolutely right, can't invite one without the other. I wouldn't say we're close to the point of talking "often." I think I have my answer!

View Quoted Comment You have really great points. At this point we're not in communication due to the falling out with his wife/my old best friend and thay is out of respect for his situation and in a sense for her. Thank you for laying all this out, I have a clear head now!

View Quoted Comment Thank you, I think I have to be a little "selfish" every now and then. Especially on my wedding, like you said. I shouldn't worry about making others happy, just me and my fiance.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, you are absolutely right. I think I already know the answer.

View Quoted Comment Couple friendships can be so hard!

View Quoted Comment

Yes you do and you should not feel bad about it... especially on your wedding day! I would never want you to risk creating unpleasant memories on such an important occasion. You have control over the guest list. Use it to your advantage.

Wishing you the very best!

If you're only on "okay" terms with the husband, it doesn't sound as though you're really that close to him. As someone who got dumped by her best friend many years ago and is still hurting from it, I'd have a hard time being comfortable having her in the room. This is supposed to be a happy day for you, and you don't need that hanging over your head. Stick to inviting the friends with whom your terms are far better than okay, whose presence will actually mean something. As someone else said, you can meet up with that okay friend another time.