Inviting exs family members

I don't blame you, I would not be happy with their either. Is she still a big part of his life?

I would be upset as well. Did he just say he wanted to invite her? I get that he can have a relationship but in my opinion she doesn't need to be invited to the wedding. Kinda not appropriate when he is marrying you.

UH. NO.

Did he talk to you before he invited her?

I think my reaction would be the equivalent of throwing something. Perhaps tell him that you feel that your wedding day is just about the two of you, and though it may not be his intentions, having his ex wife's mother there makes it feel like he's bringing a wheel of awkwardness and uncomfortableness into your wedding.

Did he not go over who he wanted to invite when you were compiling lists? I would think that would be something that you would need to discuss together. If they are close and have been for awhile and she is like a mom to him, ok, but still should be discussing with you considering the past relationship.

We made the list together and he informally told her. He knows how I feel but says she's still family. He doesn't talk to his ex at all. He can't stand her. But for some reason he now has made amends with ex mil and asked her to come. I haven't had a chance to talk to him more about it bc he got called in for an emergency at work. His mom is a drama queen and HATES this woman. Surely he knows she has no issue causing a scene at our wedding the second she sees ex mil. I also feel it is disrespectful to my mom, as he should be building a relationship with her.

That's extremely strange to me... and if you're not comfortable with it, he shouldn't have invited her.

That's a major no ! For all the reasons you told us...tell him. Flat out NO.

Thank you. Just want to be sure I'm not freaking out over nothing.

Sounds like he's trying to stir the pot and possibly rub your marriage in his ex's face though her mother. And why would he even think this woman would want to come to her daughter's ex's wedding?

He's friends with her on Facebook and when he posted the proposal pictures she said to let her know when it was. He said he would but then when we made the list she wasn't on it. He then told her because she's still "mom" he never said that at all until her husband passed away.

My guess is he did it to be nice and out of some weird loyalty thing?! But I don't want her or her daughter knowing a thing about our day. It's confusing to the kids and irritating.

I would ask him why it is important to him to have his ex-MIL there. Explain why you think it would be hurtful to your mom and his mom and see what his thoughts are from there.

Oh HELL to the NO......... You're the BRIDE!!!!!!! I'd make him UNINVITE her!!!!!!!

That's just wrong!!!!

My big concern is you say you don't know how to explain just how uneasy this makes you feel, and you need to ask a wedding forum if you can express your feelings to your future husband. Please try to think about why you're uncomfortable voicing your opinions and feelings to the man you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with.

I can see where you're coming from there. He always talks and listens. Just need some ideas on how to approach it. He can be pretty stubborn on some stuff but he's not a jerk about it.

Ok so my ex (not ex husband just ex) I'm civil with. His mom however i absolutely love too bits. We had a friendship that lasted longer then the relationship with her son. I adore her and will send her an invite. My fh is absolutely fine with it cos he knows we've a friendship. There is also someone fh met through his ex wife that is coming and actually one of her children is in our bridal party. There is no link for me between these relationships and either of exs.

I suppose you need to speak to you fh and ask why she is important to him if you don't understand the relationship. No need to be freaked out by it though

I understand how u feel to an extent. Because if I FH was inviting his ex gfs parents I would be kinda pissed. (Only bc they are rude AF!) but my parents are divorced and my dad is still close with my grandmother (moms, mom) she still sends his kids birthday cards and presents every year. She is not their grandmother but there is still a relationship there. My step mom wouldn't care at all and my mom and grandmother still go over and celebrate holidays with all of us. If my dad and my stepmom had an actual wedding that wasn't more then 5 people then I can tell u my mom and my grandmother would have been invited and no one would have thought it was weird. It was defiantly awkward for FH getting use to my weird family dynamics but it's how I grew and up and thought it was normal. I have now learned this is not the norm. My brother is graduating from college this year. My mom reneged a house for her and my grandmother, my grandfather and his new wife. My dad and step mom and their kids. It's a whole house of divorced people staying together for a weekend lol. But....you should def feel comfortable with who is at your wedding. Have you met this woman and have any relationship with her?

Does he have kids with his ex?

I have never met her. In fact he hadn't seen her or even talked to her in almost 2 years. I've only heard bad things about her until recently. His kids don't like her at all. No one in his family does. I don't if he feels bad for her or what. The kids have a different grandma. This is his second wives mom.

No Stephanie Y, they didn't have kids together.