Inviting Cousins

When you say "The Smiths" you are inviting them.

So in your effort to keep the peace, you create less peace within yourselves.

You should extend and mail the invitation to the cousins who do not live with their parents.

Not saying you *have* to and I understand your reasoning.

You don't have to invite them, but you have invited the other cousins that live with their parents through the word choice.

If you think it'll cause grief, then maybe invite them. It night hurt their feelings to be the only ones not invited.

I would invite them given how you worded the invitations.

I would think that if you wrote "The Smith Family" instead of "The Smiths" they would know their kids living out of the house were invited. You could put on the RSVP card the number of seats reserved which would include your cousins so they'd know for sure.

Etiquette-wise though, you should send them their own invites if they don't live with their parents.

You are directly inviting the cousins who are underage and still living at home when you send an invitation to "The Smiths". Anyone not living with their parents should receive their own invitations, as should any cousins who are over 18 still living at home.

Thanks all. I was only going to invite cousins on my mom's side at first because 1) They're the ones I spend holidays with and 2) They all live out of town, so it's just a lot more difficult to secure childcare for a full weekend or even here in town. But I can just foresee all the drama that will cause with my dad's side of the family, even though I haven't seen any of my cousins on that side in many years. I'll just invite them all and get over it.

Also, my paternal grandma gave me "permission" to not invite my cousins and said she'd handle the fallout, but that was without the knowledge that I still wanted to invite maternal side cousins. I've been feeling guilty ever since that my grandma may feel like I used her to get out of inviting cousins, but still invited cousins on the other side. Either way, it's not been an easy decision for me.