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September 2021

Invites

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Carlie, on October 26, 2019 at 2:07 AM

Posted in Planning 28

So, my fiancé and I have set a date and venue and came up with a rough invite list. How do we decide who receives a “+1” invite and who doesn’t? For example, if we have a mom and dad coming and their two sons that are in their mid 20’s, do we add a +1 for the sons or are they not considered a plus one because they’re coming with family? Our venue price depends on the amount of guests we have and We personally don’t want a bunch of +1’s there that we don’t know, but I don’t want people to feel uncomfortable if they don’t have a date or their girlfriend/boyfriend isn’t there even though they’re with family. Any advice would be useful. Thanks!

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28 Comments

VIP August 2020
Kathryn · on October 26, 2019 at 5:31 PM
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Like Sara said. I found it incredibly rude when my aunt basically told me my boyfriend couldn't come because we weren't married, but that was her and the bride's call on plus ones. We're paying for our own wedding, so I get the cost consideration. But if they're a social unit, then you should be ready for some push back. I ended up not going, which may have saved her a plate.
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on October 26, 2019 at 7:52 PM
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The wedding event planner is wrong. That is rude. People in a relationship should always be invited with their SO. They are adults; they are no longer a social unit with their parents and siblings. I'm not sure what you mean by "coming with their family," but regardless of who else is invited to the wedding or how they're getting to the wedding, the other half of their social unit needs to be invited with them. If you can't afford to invite both a guest and their SO, invite neither. If you're worried about ending up with too large of a guest list if you do the polite thing and invite SOs (which are not plus ones; the term 'plus one' refers to an open-ended invitation for a second guest, usually a single person, who can then bring whomever they want as a companion. The SOs should be invited by name), you may need to go back to the drawing board on the guest list and cut some more.
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Super August 2020
Alex · on October 28, 2019 at 11:53 AM
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Make a rule and stick with it. For us, they are only getting a plus one if they were in a serious relationship when Save the Dates were sent out.
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Super August 2020
Alex · on October 28, 2019 at 11:57 AM
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I would be careful with this. My FH didn't attend a wedding last year because I wasn't invites (we were only dating at the time). It is pretty rude not to invite the significant other if they are in a serious relationship.
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Devoted January 2021
Natalie · on October 28, 2019 at 11:59 AM
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We are giving all of our guests the option of inviting a plus one. About half of our friends are single and the other half are married or in serious committed relationships. My fiance thinks most of his single friends won't bring dates since the wedding is out of town for them. We'll see!
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Devoted January 2021
Natalie · on October 28, 2019 at 12:03 PM
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I agree with this
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September 2021
Carlie · on October 28, 2019 at 12:11 PM
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Fortunately, you can do your wedding your way, and I can do my wedding my way! I’m all for opinions until it comes across as rude and then I’m not for it.
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Devoted September 2019
Caitlyn · on October 28, 2019 at 1:20 PM
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It really depends on your budget... We invited 165 guests and did not include plus 1's. That said, we approached it a little differently. Those who were single didn't get an "and guest" but those who were engaged or in a relationship got to bring their SO.
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