Meghann
Savvy October 2019

Invites

Meghann, on June 3, 2019 at 11:32 PM Posted in Planning 0 35
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Help me please. I am trying to figure out the time to send invites. I want to mail them tomorrow. My mom thinks it's too early. I want responses by September first for a October 20 wedding. Help me please. Should I mail them tomorrow or wait little longer. My thought process was that give my guests about three months to request times off and what not from work if needed. And gives them plenty of time to book hotels also.

35 Comments

Latest activity by Deirdre, on June 30, 2019 at 6:36 PM
  • Becca
    Super August 2019
    Becca ·
    • Flag
    I think you are definitely very early. If you want them by Sept. 1, then maybe send them out by August 1, but even that is kind of early for a late October wedding. Did you do save the dates?
    • Reply
  • Nykole
    Expert October 2019
    Nykole ·
    • Flag

    I am getting married on October 9. We have many, many OOT guests, but we sent save the dates out in January to give a good heads up! We are sending invitations out the last week of this month so that everyone receives them by the beginning of July. Ideally, I would like RSVPs back by the middle of August, so I have plenty of time to get a final headcount to caterers and finalize my seating chart. I will start chasing people down that haven't RSVP'd beginning the first week of September. Since your wedding is a couple weeks following mine, I'd say you could wait until the first or second week of July to send them out, but I don't think anyone would mind if you sent them out later this month though. Smiley winking

    • Reply
  • Anna
    Master June 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    I think it's usually 4-6 weeks prior to the wedding. Unless its a destination wedding.
    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Dedicated November 2019
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag
    This is what save the dates are for. Way to early to send out the actual invites as people will put them away and forget to rsvp.
    • Reply
  • Trista
    VIP September 2019
    Trista ·
    • Flag
    My wedding is September 7th and I haven't even sent mine out.
    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Dedicated June 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag
    I agree with you. You're being considerate of people and their time, which is the most valuable thing someone has. Tell non you respect opinion, but you'd feel better sending out now. My cousin is getting married September 2019 and she sent invites in April. I'm getting married June 2020 and I'm sending Save the Dates by end of this week.


    Do what you feel most comfortable with. There's nothing wrong with early notification. :-)
    • Reply
  • Patience
    Devoted October 2019
    Patience ·
    • Flag
    I’m getting married October 19. My plan is to order invites in July. Send them out in August. Everyone is OOT,in hopes to get the rsvp by sept 1st. My head count isn’t due until 10/9 but we have a minimum of 125 I’m inviting 140 so that will kind of give me time to prepare myself if I need to spend more money on extra plates. Not sure if that really helped but figured I’d explain why mine are going out that early. My hotel blocks are already in place. Have got called and got yours set up? We just posted it on our website so the planners like myself can book as early as they please.
    • Reply
  • Paula
    Super September 2019
    Paula ·
    • Flag
    We've been told 6-8 weeks before the wedding. We're getting married Sept 27th and p land on mailing them out the 1st of week of July with the end of August being the deadline for the RSVP's
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    I’ve been told you can send them out up to 10 weeks before the wedding. I need to know the final headcount 14 days before the wedding & I am giving myself a week to follow up (so September 20th). I plan on send my invites around the first week of August.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    Your mother is right, this is much too early. Invitations typically go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding. You could do 8-12 weeks if you're having a DW or lots of out of town guests. Your RSVP date is also way too early. You shouldn't need a final headcount until two weeks or so before the event.

    • Reply
  • Susan
    Expert August 2019
    Susan ·
    • Flag
    Our wedding is 8/17, we are sending invites out 6/17, with a RSVP request date of the end of July. All of our guests are local, or family that will stay with other family.
    I think that is way too early and as a guest I’d probably forget about it! 😂
    • Reply
  • Tonia
    Expert October 2019
    Tonia ·
    • Flag

    Half of our guests our OOT guests. Our wedding is October 13th so we are sending the invites out the end of July and asking for RSVP's by Sept 13th which is a month before. Our wedding also falls on a holiday weekend so we want to ensure traveling guests have time to find reasonable flights. It all depends on the time of situation you're in. Sometimes "etiquette" doesn't apply when you know your logistics and crowd.

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    I think 6-10 weeks is average time in advanced, especially if you have out of town guests you can do longer. I think now is a little too soon.
    I'm doing an Oct 10 wedding and I'd plan to send mine out after the 4th of July.
    • Reply
  • Jordan
    Expert September 2019
    Jordan ·
    • Flag

    My wedding is 9/28 and invites are due back 09/03 so I am sending them around the first or second week of July. I know you're excited but it's still too early at the moment. Do you have any other projects that you can work on to keep your mind off of invites?

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP December 2019
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    That's about 90 days and I personally think it's perfect. Although you sent out save the dates earlier, most will look at it and say I have plenty of time. Then the invite comes and they're like wow that came fast and only have about 4 weeks to get time off, hotel, plane tickets etc. I say go ahead and send them. I sent out save the dates in Jan for my Dec wedding. I will send invitations Aug 15 with an RSVP date of Nov 15. (which is the same day the hotel has to be booked by in order to receive the group rate) ( I actually don't have to have the final head count until December 15). 75% of our guest are from out of state and it's a New Years Eve wedding. But even if it wasn't on a holiday that still I would still send them out 3 months/90 days ahead of time.

    • Reply
  • Jeanelle
    Super September 2018
    Jeanelle ·
    • Flag
    Especially if you have guests from out of town I think you'll be okay! We sent ours out around this time last year for our late September wedding. Based on "etiquette" it was early but we had people coming from all over and people also rsvp'd earlier around when the save the dates went out. It allows people to plan a bit more in advance anyhow.
    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Expert September 2019
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Mine too! When are you planning on sending your invitations?

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag

    Too early. If you want an RSVP deadline of September 1st, then I'd send them at the beginning of August. That gives them almost 3 months of notice (for an Oct.20 wedding), a month to RSVP, and time for you to make RSVP follow ups after your deadline.

    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    Tomorrow would be VERY early. I know there are a couple voices in this thread saying it doesn’t matter or it can’t hurt. But the overwhelming majority of people who come back and post on here that they’re having a lot of issues getting their RSVPs back are people that sent invites way too early. There are 2 major problems I see come up a lot: the worst— with all this time, people lose track of the invites and forget to rsvp. This far ahead, people will get it, see that it’s too far away to be on their radar, and put it aside. Most people can’t possibly know this far out if they’ll actually be available yet. As an example: at the very end of April we got an invite for a wedding at the very end of August (rsvp date in July). It’s still kind of on my radar that we have the invite and will need to respond. But end of August is so far off right now that I’m not even sure if we’ll actually be in town for it. So, we can’t respond yet....consequently, the invite has bounced from counter to table to window sill and quite frankly, I have no idea where it is right now. I’m thinking about it in this moment so hopefully won’t forget, but it’s definitely subject to the out of sight out of mind problem , and even now I’m not sure which date in July we need to get it sorted by ....and *im* one of the good ones as having just planned a wedding, I’m hyper conscious of the rsvp (most people are a bit less so, you’ll find!).
    the OTHER major issue with early invite, is you’ll get people who will rsvp too early— because they INTEND to come to the wedding but it’s too far off for them to really know their availability. So they say “yes!!” only to reach out a month before the wedding to say “ohhh actually...we can’t make it”

    The suggested timelines are suggested for a reason!! You’ll have much greater success with RSVPs if you follow them. 8 weeks before the wedding is a perfect time. 10 is fine if you have a lot of out of towners, and maybbeee even 12 is not unreasonable if you didn’t send save the dates. More than 12 weeks is frankly too early....and if you put them in the mail tomorrow you’re looking at almost 20 weeks.

    Wait AT LEAST a month. The ‘sent to early’ invite I’m sitting on right now is honestly burdensome to me right now as a guest. IF we’re available, we have every intention of going, but it remains a big IF and I’m getting tired of moving the thing around my apartment to somewhere where it will be it of the way but not lost or forgotten.
    • Reply
  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
    • Flag

    2-3 months is the average. We're getting married on October 12 of this year and sending the invitations July 15th. We are asking for all rsvps by September 5th Smiley smile

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