Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Expert October 2018

Invited to bachelorette party but not the wedding...

Flag
Hide content

Katie, on December 28, 2017 at 4:02 PM

I got invited to a bachelorette party for a girl that I know through my FH. Him and her FH had been friends since middle school. Her and I are more on the acquaintance side, unless the boys are involved we don't associate. However her MOH is throwing her a bachelorette party which is going to come with a somewhat hefty price tag (which isn't an issue but at the same time it kind of is after trying to recover from the holidays.) As of right now we are not invited to the wedding which is happening at the end of February last we had heard from other friends. Personally I'm not all that interested in what they have planned and also feel rather uncomfortable with the whole thing since we aren't really friends to begin with. I know etiquette is if you're not invited to the wedding you're not invited to the parties. I don't really know how I got included in it all I've tried figuring it out and asking but never got a straight answer from anyone. Just looking for some advice on how others would handle this.

Show all

43 Comments

Dedicated July 2018
Mr&MrsSmith2018 · on December 28, 2017 at 5:34 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would decline too hun.
- Reply
VIP September 2018
rica · on December 28, 2017 at 5:35 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think Linda has a good point as well though...
- Reply
VIP May 2017
The Bride · on December 28, 2017 at 5:35 PM
Flag

Hide content
Nope, you are not "thrown back into it." Time to hitch up your big girl pants and say no.
- Reply
Expert June 2018
Aly · on December 28, 2017 at 5:43 PM
Flag

Hide content
I wouldn’t go to the bachelorette party if I wasn’t invited to the wedding. No reason to spend a ton of money on this bride if she doesn’t find you important enough to even invite to the wedding.
- Reply
Devoted June 2019
Lisa · on December 28, 2017 at 5:55 PM
Flag

Hide content
That is so weird!!!!! People can be so freaking rude. I agree with others - DECLINE!
- Reply
Devoted October 2018
Mrsjacoria2018 · on December 28, 2017 at 6:17 PM
Flag

Hide content
How do you get thrown back in?
- Reply
Super October 2017
stephanie · on December 28, 2017 at 6:22 PM
Flag

Hide content
Invitations are typically sent 6-8 weeks prior to needing RSVPs. I sent mine out about 8 weeks before the wedding, with RSVP date two weeks before the wedding, because I didn't really need final numbers until a week before. You may be invited and not know it yet.
But since it seems you aren't actually interested in attending anyway, just say no and don't go. Nothing to worry about!
- Reply
Super March 2018
Stephanie · on December 28, 2017 at 6:33 PM
Flag

Hide content
How can you get thrown back in? It’s a pretty simple solution to just say no thank you. Stick to your guns and there’s really no way to be manipulated.
- Reply
Master October 2017
karen · on December 28, 2017 at 7:05 PM
Flag

Hide content
AGree with others, keep repeating, sorry no can do.
- Reply
Devoted July 2018
AlyssaWynne · on December 28, 2017 at 7:12 PM
Flag

Hide content
As others have stated, I would also decline. Even if you guys get invited later (B listed), it sound like you are not close to her.
- Reply
Master March 2017
BlueHenBride · on December 28, 2017 at 9:07 PM
Flag

Hide content
Leaving the possibly-not-invited-to-the-wedding issue out of it, I still would decline to attend the bachelorette party of an acquaintance who you only know through a friend of your FH's. If you've declined and they're persisting, I'd say again that "unfortunately, I am not able to make it."

Yes, it's rude to invite someone to a pre-wedding event who isn't invited to the wedding. @stephanie makes a good point that if this wedding is at the end of February, then this is around the time they'd be sending invitations, and it's possible you guys are invited and your invitation is in the mail or they haven't mailed their invitations at all, yet. I wouldn't necessarily jump to the conclusion, yet, that you've been invited to a pre-wedding event without being invited to the wedding. As I said, though, I'd be declining the bachelorette party invitation regardless of whether I was invited to the wedding because you're not close with the bride.
- Reply
VIP April 2018
Mrs.hays · on December 28, 2017 at 9:14 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would just decline
- Reply
Just Said Yes September 2018
Sheena · on December 28, 2017 at 9:39 PM
Flag

Hide content
I wouldn't attend.
- Reply
Super September 2018
Janel · on December 28, 2017 at 9:51 PM
Flag

Hide content
I'd decline the bachelorette party
- Reply
Master March 2018
Melissa · on December 28, 2017 at 9:56 PM
Flag

Hide content
Just say you can’t make it. Not a big deal.
- Reply
Dedicated September 2018
Whippppss · on December 28, 2017 at 10:44 PM
Flag

Hide content
I’m having a small wedding of mostly family (less than 50)...therefore If I have an Bach party, I would imagine there will be girls invited to the party, who are not invited to my wedding. However I don’t expect these girls to pay any part of my way, only theirs.

Either way, if you don’t want to go, then don’t..easy peasy.
- Reply
Devoted June 2018
teresa · on December 28, 2017 at 10:51 PM
Flag

Hide content
Simply respectfully decline the invite. There is no need for an explanation.
- Reply
Expert June 2018
Megan · on December 28, 2017 at 10:59 PM
Flag

Hide content
Hard pass.
- Reply
Devoted July 2018
Frida · on December 28, 2017 at 11:02 PM
Flag

Hide content
Politely decline
- Reply

Master September 2018
NikNak · on December 28, 2017 at 11:09 PM
Flag

Hide content
It sounds like the MoH is trying to get people to help foot the bill for this bachelorette... Politely decline.
- Reply