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Expert October 2018

Invited to bachelorette party but not the wedding...

Katie, on December 28, 2017 at 4:02 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 43

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I got invited to a bachelorette party for a girl that I know through my FH. Him and her FH had been friends since middle school. Her and I are more on the acquaintance side, unless the boys are involved we don't associate. However her MOH is throwing her a bachelorette party which is going to come with a somewhat hefty price tag (which isn't an issue but at the same time it kind of is after trying to recover from the holidays.) As of right now we are not invited to the wedding which is happening at the end of February last we had heard from other friends. Personally I'm not all that interested in what they have planned and also feel rather uncomfortable with the whole thing since we aren't really friends to begin with. I know etiquette is if you're not invited to the wedding you're not invited to the parties. I don't really know how I got included in it all I've tried figuring it out and asking but never got a straight answer from anyone. Just looking for some advice on how others would handle this.

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43 Comments

Latest activity by AnnaKay, on December 30, 2017 at 11:18 PM

Master June 2016
Sarah · on December 28, 2017 at 4:04 PM
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Can’t you just decline the bachelorette party? That’s what I would do.
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VIP May 2017
The Bride · on December 28, 2017 at 4:06 PM
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You answered it yourself -- I'm betting you were invited to help out with that heft price tag you mentioned. That's a rude-y patootie right there to invite you when you're not invited to the wedding. Feel free to stay home that night. Heck, even if you do end up invited to the wedding I'd still stay home that night.
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Dedicated November 2018
Kira · on December 28, 2017 at 4:06 PM
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I would say thanks for the invite, but decline.
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Master May 2017
JerseyGirl · on December 28, 2017 at 4:06 PM
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I would simply decline.
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Expert October 2018
Katie · on December 28, 2017 at 4:07 PM
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I tried that, especially since I have a weekend job where the shifts will vary greatly and are unpredictable but I got thrown back into it
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VIP September 2018
BB-H · on December 28, 2017 at 4:08 PM
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You're not that close with her and it seems like you're not close enough to be invited to her wedding, so as PP have said, respectfully decline.
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Master July 2017
A. L. · on December 28, 2017 at 4:10 PM
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Decline, quickly.
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Master June 2016
Sarah · on December 28, 2017 at 4:10 PM
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You’re letting this happen if you got thrown back into it. Say “I’m sorry but I can’t” and leave it at that.
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Master September 2018
Jennifer · on December 28, 2017 at 4:10 PM
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I would def decline, it's so rude to invite someone to bach/bachelorette party and not the wedding. I would be offended.
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VIP May 2017
Runawaybride · on December 28, 2017 at 4:12 PM
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Agree. Who is throwing you into it? Is someone pressuring you to go? Why? How? Your time. Your money. Your choice how to spend it.
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Master March 2018
Orchids · on December 28, 2017 at 4:15 PM
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No is a complete sentence. "I can't make it" is all you need to say.
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VIP May 2018
Ms.Fox · on December 28, 2017 at 4:16 PM
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Just don’t go.
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VIP July 2018
AQuixoticBride · on December 28, 2017 at 4:17 PM
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I wouldn't jump into being offended. I have been at a couple bridal events where people were invited and attended, but not invited to the wedding. It was because the MOH was planning the event and made an assumption, which was then uncomfortable for the bride. But if you don't want to go, don't go.
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Super May 2018
Amanda · on December 28, 2017 at 4:18 PM
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I would probably just say thank you, but I won't be able to participate / attend and leave it at that. I wouldn't worry too much about etiquette because her MOH is the rude one in this instance. Is it possible the bride doesn't even realized you're invited to her bachelorette?
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Master September 2018
Jennifer · on December 28, 2017 at 4:22 PM
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I would be offended by the MOH not the bride, I guess I should have clarified that.
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on December 28, 2017 at 4:28 PM
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I wouldn't waste any energy trying to figure out how I was invited. I would simply decline.
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VIP January 2018
KatieMBY · on December 28, 2017 at 4:29 PM
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I would politely decline. If you’re already uncomfortable with the invitation, imagine how much more uncomfortable you’d be if you went? Just say no.
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VIP September 2018
rica · on December 28, 2017 at 4:55 PM
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I would just say no thank you.

It seems odd, but there's still the small chance her MOH messed up somehow and didn't realize. I wouldn't go, but I wouldn't worry too much about it either.
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Expert April 2018
lindabelcher · on December 28, 2017 at 4:59 PM
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How exactly do you know that you're not invited? Gas someone who has actually seen the guest list said you both aren't on the list?
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