Katie
Expert October 2018

Invited to bachelorette party but not the wedding...

Katie, on December 28, 2017 at 4:02 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 43
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I got invited to a bachelorette party for a girl that I know through my FH. Him and her FH had been friends since middle school. Her and I are more on the acquaintance side, unless the boys are involved we don't associate. However her MOH is throwing her a bachelorette party which is going to come with a somewhat hefty price tag (which isn't an issue but at the same time it kind of is after trying to recover from the holidays.) As of right now we are not invited to the wedding which is happening at the end of February last we had heard from other friends. Personally I'm not all that interested in what they have planned and also feel rather uncomfortable with the whole thing since we aren't really friends to begin with. I know etiquette is if you're not invited to the wedding you're not invited to the parties. I don't really know how I got included in it all I've tried figuring it out and asking but never got a straight answer from anyone. Just looking for some advice on how others would handle this.

43 Comments

Latest activity by AnnaKay, on December 30, 2017 at 11:18 PM
  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    Can’t you just decline the bachelorette party? That’s what I would do.
    • Reply
  • The Bride
    VIP May 2017
    The Bride ·
    • Flag

    You answered it yourself -- I'm betting you were invited to help out with that heft price tag you mentioned. That's a rude-y patootie right there to invite you when you're not invited to the wedding. Feel free to stay home that night. Heck, even if you do end up invited to the wedding I'd still stay home that night.

    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated November 2018
    Kira ·
    • Flag
    I would say thanks for the invite, but decline.
    • Reply
  • JerseyGirl
    Master May 2017
    JerseyGirl ·
    • Flag
    I would simply decline.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Expert October 2018
    Katie ·
    • Flag

    I tried that, especially since I have a weekend job where the shifts will vary greatly and are unpredictable but I got thrown back into it

    • Reply
  • BB-H
    VIP September 2018
    BB-H ·
    • Flag

    You're not that close with her and it seems like you're not close enough to be invited to her wedding, so as PP have said, respectfully decline.

    • Reply
  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
    • Flag

    Decline, quickly.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    You’re letting this happen if you got thrown back into it. Say “I’m sorry but I can’t” and leave it at that.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    I would def decline, it's so rude to invite someone to bach/bachelorette party and not the wedding. I would be offended.


    • Reply
  • Runawaybride
    VIP May 2017
    Runawaybride ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Agree. Who is throwing you into it? Is someone pressuring you to go? Why? How? Your time. Your money. Your choice how to spend it.
    • Reply
  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
    • Flag

    No is a complete sentence. "I can't make it" is all you need to say. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Ms.Fox
    VIP May 2018
    Ms.Fox ·
    • Flag
    Just don’t go.
    • Reply
  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
    • Flag
    I wouldn't jump into being offended. I have been at a couple bridal events where people were invited and attended, but not invited to the wedding. It was because the MOH was planning the event and made an assumption, which was then uncomfortable for the bride. But if you don't want to go, don't go.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Super May 2018
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    I would probably just say thank you, but I won't be able to participate / attend and leave it at that. I wouldn't worry too much about etiquette because her MOH is the rude one in this instance. Is it possible the bride doesn't even realized you're invited to her bachelorette?

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I would be offended by the MOH not the bride, I guess I should have clarified that.

    • Reply
  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't waste any energy trying to figure out how I was invited. I would simply decline.

    • Reply
  • KatieMBY
    VIP January 2018
    KatieMBY ·
    • Flag
    I would politely decline. If you’re already uncomfortable with the invitation, imagine how much more uncomfortable you’d be if you went? Just say no.
    • Reply
  • rica
    VIP September 2018
    rica ·
    • Flag

    I would just say no thank you.


    It seems odd, but there's still the small chance her MOH messed up somehow and didn't realize. I wouldn't go, but I wouldn't worry too much about it either.

    • Reply
  • L
    Expert April 2018
    lindabelcher ·
    • Flag
    How exactly do you know that you're not invited? Gas someone who has actually seen the guest list said you both aren't on the list?
    • Reply
  • PandaInLove
    Expert August 2017
    PandaInLove ·
    • Flag

    I would just politely decline. Simply just don't go.

    • Reply

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