Invited to a honeyfund shower...help

While a honeyfund shower is tacky as hell, give what you can afford and no more. The point of a shower is getting gifts to help start a life together, not blow it on a vacation they can't afford.

I'm going to a bridal shower today as well that is only honeyfund ..I'm giving $25

Bring her 30 dollars in nickels and dimes IMO.

Man, contribute whatever you can. They got themselves into this mess when they decided honeymoon fund for gifts. People are so dumb sometimes, I swear. If you think getting cash means you get more, that's super BS. Register for the things you want, and you'll never be disappointed.

IMO $30 is a pretty substantial gift for a shower. Nothing to be embarrassed about there. And give however you want- cash, gift card, honey fund website. It will be appreciated either way!

Thank you everyone for the suggestions and advice!! There is no traditional registry for me to choose from at all, and it's not even an actual "honeyfund" website that is set up, it was simply a note asking for monetary gifts only for their honeymoon. For some reason I think I would've felt less uncomfortable donating to a honeyfund site than just putting cash in a card for the shower. Any way, I think I'm going to just give the $30 in a card and not dwell on it.

I dont like giving cash, so I would buy a physical gift. If they don't have a registry I would just find something personalized with the last name and/or the wedding date.

Speaking of ..... vow renewal vs wedding, this is a good reason to always be clear in invites. One of my cousins got married in Jamaica and had a reception later in the US. So I asked him what date they would celebrate as their anniversary, because I wanted to gift something that had the date.

Another cousin had a wedding where I gave a similar gift with the date. Come to find out they had gone to a courthouse sometime before, so I now have no clue if the gift I gave them would be meaningful, since the date we thought would be their anniversary may not be what they think of as their anniversary. Unless people have reason to ask, they will assume the wedding celebration date is your real anniversary and put it on things!

Along the same lines as a honeymoon fund, my friend had a shower requesting gift card and money for a sleep number bed. It was"Help them buy the Bed". I have a small monetary gift and an inexpensive personal gift.

I think it's the same as any gift - give what you can afford. When shopping off of a registry people still know exactly how much you spent. Any gift is generous and I'm sure will be appreciated!

I think if you're going to do a cash gift bridal shower, you need to change the format. Do something more creative and play some games instead of opening cards with cash in it. Problem solved. It doesn't have to be awkward. I feel like the trend is to be more practical and what is more practical than cash?

Dude. They're rude. Give what you can afford. FH and I are going to Disney for our Honeymoon. A lot of people gave us things we could use on our honeymoon and I loved it. Maybe you could put together a cute honeymoon bag? This may be silly, but I was super stoked to get a mini hand sanitizer that can clip onto me. It's got a cute case, too. Maybe cost the gifter $5. But the thoughtfulness was fantastic.

Whether you give a cash gift or physical gift off the registry then she will know what you spent. I was never a fan of opening gifts in front of guests. Hopefully in this situation they realize that'd be horrible and they just have fun games and activities.

I would give $25 to the fund and bring a wrapped bottle of sunscreen (assuming tropical honeymoon) or something like that...

At my high school graduation party my Aunt and Uncle gave me a very, very nice hand written letter and $5 while another Aunt wrote me a $250 check. I was very grateful for both presents. No amount of money could replace the letter I received from my Aunt and Uncle and knowing they could only afford $5 and was willing to give me the $5 meant more to me than the $250. Give what you can afford, what you're comfortable with and if the bride or anyone side eyes you then that shows who they are, not you.

Omg that's even tackier. Some people are so clueless. Wow.

Ummmm if someone got me a $5 bottle of mini hand sanitizer, I'd be like wtf. Seriously people, you're really pushing the limit on what a gift is. No one is saying you have to shell out several hundred bucks, but $5?

I also hate giving cash. I went to a shower where the bride wasnt registered (and when asked said she was doing a honeyfund). I picked something more personal out, as well as pretty much everyone else that was there (some people brought nothing which I also thought was ok given the situation)....money (if given at all) is for weddings. If you chose to give them money at the shower (if its one of those brides whose going to read something out), I dont see a need to give more cash at a wedding. I guess you could give less at the wedding, more at the shower. I probably would be a little more generous with a registry gift than just giving cash again though.

Just give what you can. $25 is pretty standard for money/gift amount in my family. Also your fear of them knowing exactly how much you gave doesn't make sense. If you bought a gift off a traditional registry then the couple would still know exactly how it cost and therefore how much you spent. Please don't give them a traditional gift either. That's passive aggressive and catty, just accept they have different ideas in life and move on

For a bridal shower that seems odd and I'd just take a gift...however I am not against the "honeyfund" idea as a whole. My friend did it and I though it was great. Because let's face it, if you're an adult couple, you are probably coming from 2 separate households anyway which means you have plenty of towels and dishes etc etc etc....what exactly are people supposed to gift you with? My FH always gives money because he would rather them do what they want with what he would spend....unless they're right out of high school or college (and even then some people are pretty set up in college) the normal "please buy us a toaster and some towels" idea is silly and I would much rather contribute to a dream honeymoon that the couple would always remember.

Just my two cents tho...

Bring the gift you want. The tacky poem is a request (a rude one), not a demand.