Invited to a honeyfund shower...help

I think you give what you can afford. And keep in mind that the rude ones are the hosts who blatantly asked for money, which is completely not the point of a shower.....

Staying away from the "the whole point of a shower blah blah"

Give what ever you're comfortable with. Screw them if the judge the amount.

Or buy something in your price range. Make it personalized with wedding date or just something that'd be useful. A gift card somewhere. Give a gift receipt if you want.

Don't feel bad about it. This is why honey funds are a bad idea amongst many others.

Wait, people hate honeyfunds here? Seems weird for a bridal shower I must say. I don't mind it for weddings though.

...the point is to shower the couple with gifts for their life together, which although a little archaic is also a little sweet. What's she going to do, open envelopes of cash?

If it's a surprise to her, she may be a little mortified as well.......but as everyone else has said, don't give an uncomfortable amount for you.

Ugh. That's annoying. I'd definitely just give what you can afford.

If they're decent people they'll be grateful.

My FH's family did a shower for us earlier this year. We received mostly gifts from our registry, but got a few cards with cash. I was just as grateful for the few people who gave $20 as the people who gave $100. I know everyone's budget is different and people give what they feel comfortable giving and I'm grateful they want to give me a gift since they certainly didn't have to.

I would bring a physical gift. I don't know if it's considered rude, but I don't like giving cash, so I do it anyway.

Celia has a good point regarding 'open envelopes of cash'...that could be awkward! I see no problem in gifting whatever you think they could use/enjoy. I see the registry as an option. I wouldn't feel obligated to contribute to the honeyfund (actually, I would gift cash before I ever contributed to a honeyfund where they take out a fee).

ETA, I'd consider this more of coin shower than a traditional bridal shower, actually....

Give what you can afford. Don't break your bank to send them on a vacation..

I personally really dislike honeyfunds.. I feel like it is tacky to ask for money and uncomfortable for people, like you, who have to give the money.

@FutureMrsP, we kept our registry small with kitchen/bath items to that could use a little upgrading...also a few camping items. We did receive about 1/2 gifts & the other half was either cash or GC.

@celia: I didn't mean it as blah blah in a mocking way. I meant it in a way where I didn't have to write out the whole "the whole

Point of a shower is to shower the couple/bride in gifts to start their life together. Not to open envelopes of cash in front of everyone" it was just shorter and less to type since that statement is repeated a lot around here.

@futuremrsp well your guests will know you've been living together for a long time and hopefully understand. Luckily for me, cash and gold(literally) is the norm for Chinese families.

I've seen friends' registries before and often wondered if they'll be entertaining like Martha Stewart every other day with the things they picked out.

When people still don't understand that a Honeyfund is just a way to get the same cash they were going to get except the company takes a percentage of it.

Gotcha AB! No mocking taken!!

I think anything you can give is fine. Times are definitely changing, whether we like it or not honeyfunds are now a thing. I have been to several showers that included both a honeyfund and traditional registry. I am having this issue right now. FH and I have lived together for a long time, we don't need anything, and I don't want a shower, but my sister (MOH) and mother said it's not up to me. We are torn between registering for a bunch of stuff we don't need or doing a honeyfund and a few traditional registry items. Disney has a cute honeyfund site where you can pick and choose to contribute to experiences (like dinner at a specific resort) and can pick the amount you want to give. I think that's a bit better than just asking for straight up cash, but I am still a little uncomfortable doing it. Obviously I am still on the fence. lol

$30 is fine if that's all you can afford.

I've had people give me random gifts that I didn't register for at all and am slightly surprised they chose for me (i.e. A cake stand... I don't eat or bake cake...) it's whatever. They thought I would like it and it's honestly the thought that counts. Just give them a cash gift of what you can afford. They shouldn't be asking for money anyway.

I don't like the whole hand-out/give me money trend that is becoming more common place. I would go with a physical gift if it were me, or nothing at all. It shouldn't be about how much you can give.

Oceankissed, if you are attending a shower, you should not show up with nothing. That is rude.

While I understand my opinion is an unpopular one around here, I personally don't have a problem with honeyfunds and will happily contribute if a couple chooses to have one. With that said, I DO find it weird to have a shower with no physical registry. In response to your point about her knowing exactly how much you gifted her...if she had a physical registry she would still know how much the gift you bought her costs. She would've registered for it, after all. My advice to you? Just give her cash and call it a day.

I attended a shower in which the bride only wanted contributions to a honeyfund (requested via a poem in the invitations) and it was awkward watching her open envelopes. She didn't announce the cash values (thank god) but it was basically just sitting watching her look at her cards. It was boring. Most people just ignored her and chatted amongst themselves.