Invited guests bringing kids to adults only or uninvited guests...

Addressed the envelopes to just the parents and on invitations at the bottom we worded it Adult reception to follow.

We didn't have that problem, but you sound on the right track. The invite should be addressed to those invited only. You don't say adult reception only (you don't tell people they aren't invited). If people RSVP for kids/plus ones you call and say "sorry for the confusion, the invitation was only for you and John. Unfortunately we can't accomodate the kids/your friend."

Ask your caterer what they do about "crashers." Usually they have extra food and it's not a problem. You can also turn them away at the door, but, you'll look far more gracious if they can be accomodated (especially kids!) You may have to pay for them after the fact though, if crashers don' even out with no-shows.

We had two "crashers" but they showed up after dinner so it wasn't noticeable. We had two no shows as well so I didn't stress about it.

As for seating...they sit at empty spots or see if the caterer can quickly add another table if needed - obviously it wouldnt have centerpeices or anything.

We almost did, but didn't. My MIL's friend asked her if she could substitute her 9 year old granddaughter, if her husband ended up having to work. Yeah, sure, We really wanted to pay the $150 plus adult rate, if a kid came instead. Also my cousin sent an e-mail asking if her toddler could attend, since her husband would be away. His nickname is the "little monster." That was shot-down, too. Of course, she didn't invite kids to her wedding, a few years before.

I'm sure you'll get a lot of horror stories on here, from brides that this has happened to. We mailed out our save the dates, to adults only, 10 months before the wedding. Our wedding website address was on the magnets. On the website, we carefully explained that the evening had been planned for adults only, except for those in the wedding party, and my honorary little brother and sister (15 and 17.5). We were in our early 30s, so other than those exceptions, all our guests ended up being 25 and up.

We haven't had our wedding yet, but we're NOT going to have kids at ours. We've already coordinated with the country club where we're having our reception and paying their CPR-certified babysitters to babysit any children who do show up, including our bridal party kids (flower girl, ring bearer, junior usher(s)) for $10/hour, total. To us, that extra $60 or so (however long the reception lasts) is super worth it. They'll have a craft for the kids, or show movies, have some snacks and water, juice, soda pop, or whatever we want.

We have not decided whether we'll put that on an insert in the invitations, but I think we're leaning towards something like, "Childcare will be provided at the country club for any guests unable to make other arrangements," only MUCH more nicely-worded. That still sounds more harsh than we'd like.

I also saw some Dos and Don'ts from a Knot link that actually mostly make sense: https://www.theknot.com/content/adults-only-wedding-etiquette-no-children

You sound perfectly on point. We addressed our invitationd to just the parents. On the RSVP card put "We havd reserved ____ adult seats in your honor". Then put a friendly note on the weddig website. Still got an inquiry about bringing kids but it was easy to be honest.

I was actually curious about wording the RSVP card. Is it rude to put how many seats you've reserved for someone? I don't want them to respond saying they've got 20 guests because they're bringing all of their friends because then it would just be awkward to tell them they can't.

Don't put it (adult reception) on the invite; only invite the people that you want, by name, on the invitation and fill in their names on the RSVP's for them.

And practice this, "Unfortunately, we are unable to accommodate children at the reception. Of course, we would love to celebrate with you, but we will understand if you can't attend. "

Jamie, the bridal party kids should be included in the reception. If they're important enough to be in your ceremony they get to stay (if their parents decide otherwise, that is up to them, but they should be welcomed).

Stephanie is right; BP kids should be invited, pending their parents' wishes.

If anyone RSVPs with their kids, just call them and explain that due to budget and venue constraints, you can't accommodate children, and you hope they can still come.

Blergh...this is something we're currently dealing with. We're a little older, and the majority of our friends and family have kids. So we limited our reception to adults only. After sending out save the dates, some OOT guests starting asking us about whether we'll have childcare provided. Some of these guests have family in our area. We figured they'd have their family watch their kids for a night, but I guess not? Still dealing...

We had 1 person bring a baby to the adults only reception. It was a family friend but not someone I personally was close too. Other than receiving line I didn't really notice. And they left early anyways.

We had someone also sub their 15 and 17 year old kids for the husband. I was tempted to say no on this because we didn't want 18 and under and wanted to be fair to every one (lots of people have younger kids in our families) but we let it slide because it was 2 weeks before the wedding they told us this change and I was so stressed out I just didn't want to deal with it plus they were old enough to behave.

I'm in the same boat. We are including on the RSVP section:

"Due to the intimate nature of our wedding, and the limited capacity of our venue, we kindly request no additional guests or children other than those noted. We hope you understand."

We're making it very clear who is invited on the actual invite. What is really nice about WW is that you can include exactly who is invited on your guest list. So, when they go to RSVP and their name or their plus one, or even their kid isn't there, they cannot even RSVP. We're having a destination wedding, and so we just have to understand if people won't travel without their children.

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn as FH and i don't have children, so I get it, I'm not a parent. I also think it's very sweet of the brides who are bringing childcare to the venue site (seriously, how accommodating!) but isn't that the responsibility of a parent? I would think parents would be capable of finding their own childcare? I'm hope I don't come across as negative I am very #teambride here. It just seems that we take on a lot of responsibility when planning a wedding is hard enough as it is! (Childcare, child entertainment...). Take some stress off of yourself and let them figure it out.

My mother works for Domino's pizza and they have catered the kids at the wedding. They hire babysitters and have the kids all play at the nearby hotel pool/waterpark during the reception. I assume they basically pay the hotel as if they were to have a birthday party there or maybe enough guests are already staying at that hotel it doesn't cost anything.

Shan, I am a mom, and I agree that childcare is 100% my responsibility. That said, childcare at the site could allow some OOT guests who can't find care for the whole weekend to attend.

I've used my wedding website to state Adult Reception and in the FAQs section answered the question; Can I bring a guest? No, in a nice way. My RSVP cards are the same as Amanda's and state that We've reserved __ seats in your honor and I will be having them select their meal choice so if I invite two and they send back a RSVP for 4 chicken dinners then I'll have to give them a call We've also brought this up in conversations with friends and family that there will be no kids at the wedding. There are no kids in the BP and we hope that it spreads by word of mouth as well.

I've only attended one wedding where the guests brought their kids anyway. My uncle's family are the poster family for a narcissistic sense of entitlement. They didn't even RSVP to my wedding, or send so much as a congratulatory e-mail, because their kids weren't invited.

My cousin married a few years before me and didn't invite kids. Uncle called my aunt/MOB and said he was bringing his kids anyway. The bride was furious. The groom had 2 nieces, who were the same age (7 and 10), who weren't invited, and didn't attend. The uninvited kids were side-eyed, by the groom's family, all night, who wondered why the (virtual stranger) cousins, were there, and not the nieces.

Cousins attended and refused the chicken fingers/fries meal, that the MOB had ordered for them. (I ended up eating one of their plates, since I didn't want to see the food go to waste). My aunt loudly said to the server "My children eat adult food!" and I thought the server's eyes would pop out. The whole family went up to the buffet, which wasn't unlimited, by any means, and ate food intended for the invited/adult guests.

The incident was one of the reasons we didn't invite 1st cousins, under 21. They uninvited cousins were actually 18 and under, since there was a gap in cousin ages, between 18 and 23. We were charged the full adult rate, for anyone 13 and up; no discount for 5 hours of open bar. Guests under 13, who insisted on an adult meal, would have been charged the adult rate, too.

My cousins are in a snit because we're not inviting kids. I was informed very tersely 'their' kids are 22 and 26 so it shouldn't apply to them. Unless you are inviting 320 people AND the plumber, someone's going to be unhappy.

Our RSVP cards say "____ seats have been reserved for ________." When I address and stuff envelopes next week, I will fill in the number and names of who is included. Yes, it's more work, but worth it to ensure we don't end up with an additional 30 children (we both have a LOT of cousins with children).