Invite to "reception" and not ceremony

I actually think it's fine. I mean, they're basically just throwing a party with an excuse for doing so. Like a housewarming. Or a birthday. Just BYOB and go have fun! And if you're going to bring a gift, bring something you would bring to a dinner party...like a nice bottle of wine.

BYOB is tacky. I would not bring anything or show up with just the beer and no gift.

As for the no invite to the ceremony, that might mean they went with a very private ceremony or a courthouse wedding.

Private ceremonies are just fine. Celebrating later is fine.

BYOB is never fine unless it's a frat party.

@Celia, frat parties would be more fun. At least they would have free hunch punch and maybe an ice luge.

Yeah, definitely weird and pretty rude.

Are they expecting gifts? It sounds more like they just want to have a party...which assuming the guest list for the ceremony is very small, I think that's fine.

It just sounds like they want to celebrate. They want to have a party with their friends to celebrate doing something they are excited about. They aren't asking for gifts or anything, they aren't calling it a wedding reception out asking for gifts. I don't understand why people are getting offended.

Yes, it's not traditional. But if that's how they wanted to do their wedding (personal, just them) that's fine. I'd go, bring a bottle of wine or a craft brew. Say "yeah congrats that's awesome for you guys", and just have a party with your friends.

If it's supposed to be something like a bachelor/bachelorette party it doesn't seem shocking to me that it's byob. Also seems like it may have been a short notice ceremony with just family so she wouldn't get deported...but that's just my opinion