Invite bad friend to wedding?

Well, don't tell her explicitly that she's not in the party unless she can't figure it out and asks you. As for inviting her...I don't know. I'll be interested to see what others say, I'm not sure what I would do. ETA: are you okay with your friendship ending based on her not being invited? If so, then don't invite her. That's kinda where I landed.

Is your wedding date correct? If so, you have so much time to ask your BMs! And I would strongly consider waiting till the end of this year/beginning of next year, as relationships can change with time. Don't feel pressured by her FB post to make a decision now. If she asks, let her know you're taking your time with wedding planning since you have a while and then change the subject.

I wouldn't put her in the bridal party at all. She could be invited as a guest but I wouldn't pay for any travel or anything. If she wants to come she has to pay for everything herself. She probably won't come but at least she was invited. But definitely do not put in the bridal party.

I think you should invite her to the wedding at least if you've been friends for so long. Give her the chance to make it. I wouldn't pay for it though. If the matter of finances ever comes up, maybe you could tell her that while you would love her be there, the wedding is costing enough and you cannot afford the additional expenses at this time. (Or somehow word it nicer).

Maybe there are alternatives to having her in the bridal party. Do you have sisters, cousins or fsils you could have in your party and maybe not include friends? Keep it a small bridal party? Those are just my thoughts. You shouldn't have anyone that you don't want in the party. The pictures are forever and it would suck if you two had a falling out down the road or through the wedding planning process.

Seconding the don't ask your party too soon comment. I regretted some wedding party choices that I asked a year and a half in advance.

Honestly we aren't close the only reason we talk is because we have known each other so long. She never talks unless she needs money

Do you guys keep in contact a lot? If not, I would just try to avoid the subject when you do talk and once you ask your bridesmaids it becomes obvious. That's what I did with someone who made more than a few references to being in my bridal party until she was asking about the wedding today and asked if I had all of my girls. She didn't make a big deal about it thankfully and even though it is somewhat cowardly I was glad it was over text since I was able to think about all of my responses. I think it would have been rude/mean if I had flat out told her she isn't in the wedding without her asking. I did consider that but am glad I decided not to.

Ps- it sounds like she may not have the finances to be able to go to the wedding at all so I wouldn't worry about telling her you don't really want her there/not inviting her unless you want to officially end your friendship.

If you are giving her money, I would stop immediately. That alone may lead to her not texting or calling anymore.

Wow - I agree - wait for a awhile to ask your bridesmaids. Just enjoy being engaged. It is so easy for people's opinions, drama and chaos to creep in. Just enjoy being a "bride to be". Eventually you'll be clear on who to ask and who not to (whether it is a bridesmaid or guest). Those decisions don't all have to be made right now. If she asks, just tell her the wedding is over 18 months away and you really aren't ready to start making decisions on things. Eventually it will all fade away or die down.

Guest....maybe. Big maybe. Bridal party? Hell to the no. My 2 cents.

You have a year before you even need to think about this. If you don't like her, stop having dinner with her and let the friendship drift apart.

Hell no. She can stay home.

I wouldn't invite her. It honestly doesn't seem like you are friends at all. More like acquaintances. You are her ATM and she is a bill. Why would you want her AT your wedding, let alone IN it?

Why are you thinking about this now?

No. No. and No.

I agree with previous posters and say invite her to the wedding and have that be that. If she can't afford to go just say that you don't have it in the budget to fly her out and you're terribly sorry she can't be there. For now, if she asks about the bridal party you can say the wedding is so far out that you haven't thought about it.

I had a friend like this. Sadly, it was always me trying to be a great friend and her never putting any effort in to support me. The history isn't really worth it. In my case, she was an awesome friend when we were little, but things got progressively worse as we got older and I was putting a lot of money and time into the relationship (because I felt bad that she had no family support)... You would be better off without such a toxic relationship in your life. I think inviting her but not asking her to be in the bridal party is a less confrontational thing to do.

Stop giving her money. She'll move on to someone else. Problem solved.

Better question is -- why in the world do you consider this person a "friend"?? Just cut the cord already! You are not obligated to keep toxic people in your life just because you've known them a long time.

I'm not giving her money, she just always asks me for money. Also I'm planning my wedding this far in advance because I got to school full time and it's an out of state wedding so I need time to go down and do tastings and whatever when I'm not in class and not have to stress about planning a wedding while getting good grades...

It's your day. If you don't want her in the BP don't let her guilt trip you into it. If you care enough to invite her then OK but I wouldn't stress myself with someone who uses me by putting them in my BP.