Invitations per Bride and Groom

Decide with your parents on a certain number of people they get, a certain number of people FHs family gets and a certain number for you and FH. Then tell FHs family they get X amount of people and to narrow their guest list down to that number. That's the easiest way regardless of who is paying. It worked well for us.

ETA: I have a much bigger family than FH, so my parents are inviting more people (family only) than FH's nana. FH is inviting a lot more friends than I am, so it pretty much evens out.

Eh, I feel like that's kind of a petty way to think about it, but I can kind of see why your mom would feel that way. I do think it's a little ridiculous that your fiancé's family added 90 people without offering to pay anything, that will add quite a bit to the bill. You should probably come up with a set number of invites for them to stick to rather then leaving it open and allowing them to invite 90 people your fiancé may or may not even know.

You and your FH, and your parents have the most input on guests. Invite who you want. The number that's left over, that's the number your in-laws can invite

No, that's not appropriate in my opinion. Your parents are paying, yes, but you and your fiance are about to become partners and partners don't keep score. Don't start your married life off by essentially telling him that since his family isn't paying, your side is entitled to more guests.

Interesting. Neither my family or FH's family get to invite anyone, nor do they get an opinion about who to invite (well, they may have an opinion, but it doesn't change anything). This is our wedding and the guest list is ours alone. We are paying for everything ourselves.

If you sent a parameter of how many people each side can get, you stick with it. You don't keep score, but you also don't let anyone add more people.

Tell them they X number of people. If they add more, THEY pay for them, not YOUR parents!

I've heard this before and it honestly confuses me. You aren't business partners planning investments. You are becoming one family. I don't know why a couple would ever say "I get to invite this amount and you get that amount. Absolutely no deviation." Why keep score? Invite who you both want there, but don't make this a battle of who "gets" more guests. Invite who you both want and that is that. Both of your parents have a chance to recommend guests and you should be gracious enough to include some out of respect. But you shouldn't have to cut your close friends to invite your mom's old neighbor. And you two shouldn't be limiting it to X amount of guests per side.

I am lucky my FH parents gave us three names!

I agree with some other comments, tell the future in-laws how many they can have, and that's that. I wouldn't consider trying to keep it 'fair' by keeping it even based on dollars. It isn't their fault their son isn't a bride and they aren't paying.

But you can only have so many people. The end. 90 isn't even close to an option. You don't have to remove your friends, they get ten, or 15, or whatever number you give them.

If the bride's parents are paying for the whole wedding, they can invite whoever they want. Like some PPs have said, take 150, minus bride's parents' guests, minus the must have invites for bride and groom (close family and friends), whatever is left over, you can ask the groom's parents if they have a list of up to X number of guests they want to invite. DO NOT let them invite 90 with the assumption only 45 will show up. If all 45 show up the bride's parents will by SOL for funding an extra 45 guests, which is completely rude and wrong.