Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

OG MrsJKR
Beginner March 2019

Invitations for a private ceremony vs. reception celebration

OG MrsJKR, on February 3, 2018 at 3:05 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 29

My friend (for whom I am the wedding planner) wanted to elope just with a few nearest and dearest and her family talked her into a big wedding. She's now very happy about the big wedding, but terribly overwhelmed. She's found a compromise and is going to be having a more intimate ceremony (though...

My friend (for whom I am the wedding planner) wanted to elope just with a few nearest and dearest and her family talked her into a big wedding. She's now very happy about the big wedding, but terribly overwhelmed. She's found a compromise and is going to be having a more intimate ceremony (though still larger than wanted previously) with a larger reception/party for the extended family and family friends.


I didn't deal with that with my own wedding, so I'm guessing that there would be 2 different invitations, and I'm trying to figure out how to word it? I'm trying to work out invitation wording in general... but this complicates it even more

29 Comments

  • D
    Dedicated June 2018
    DBHSEW ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I really have no idea why people get so sensitive about this subject. Etiquette, or not, in the grand scheme of life will the fact that 'you' weren't invited to an intimate wedding ceremony, really affect your life? Like at all?!? As a GUEST, because a wedding ceremony isn't all about me(unless I'm the bride), I would not feel 'left out' because I wasn't invited to a private ceremony. I would feel special that I made the invite list. The couple, while writing down 100 other names, remembered my name, and thought 'invite her'. Weddings are about celebrating someone's love, devotion, and union. They are not about how the couples decisions 'make me feel'. I am a guest. Just my opinion.

    • Reply
  • GoodMOB
    April 2018
    GoodMOB ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    OP, I think I would say that whatever the wording is on the invitations, it should be thought through carefully. And I don't think you will entirely avoid hurt feelings/disappointment on the part of some guests. Those guests are always free to decline to come to the reception, if thy are upset they were not invited to the ceremony.

    I would be one of the disappointed people, as I happen to love wedding ceremonies.

    • Reply
  • rica
    VIP September 2018
    rica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree. I've been to three weddings like this.

    One I was part of the small group invited to the ceremony. There was definitely some drama with their relatives, but it all turned out fine in the end. I can't really speak much to this one since I wasn't left out.

    Another was a formal wedding with just immediate family then a picnic a few weeks later with 100 or so people. I was not at all insulted, and happy to be included in some way.

    The third was a very casual beach wedding of an old friend of FH. They had about 10 people (I'm not even sure who specifically) watch their ceremony, then invited about 100 to the reception. It was a blast. I wouldn't have expected to be in the 10% that was invited to the ceremony, because we are not close.


    I personally wouldn't want to do this for my own wedding, but it doesn't bother me if someone else does.

    • Reply
  • A
    April 2018
    A ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I am a bride and am looking to do something like this as well. How ever I plan on inviting more people like, co workers, my boss and her boss etc plus family and friend to the ceremony & have the reception for only my most intimate fam & friends (No children) due to cost of food per person for the venue. I've come to see that not that many people show up to Catholic ceremonies but everyone (& then some) always seem to show up for the food & dancing part. So I based my desicion based on what I've seen in our circle of family and friends and wsnt to make sure my ceremony (which is the important part) is filled with peole. So what I'll be doing is printing & mailing "Save the dates" invites with an RSVP to narrow it down for me. I'll then print invitations with ceremony info for everyone & have an insert printed and included only on the invitations for whom I plan on joining us at the reception. It's My Wedding & I care less what people think... I figure we are the ones paying not our guests... Hope this helps
    • Reply
  • Andrea
    Savvy June 2019
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I've been to so many weddings like this, and I never thought anything of it. Everyone I know puts their reception location and time on the invitation itself and then there ceremony location and time are on a another card (business card size) that can be put in some invitations and not all. I thought this was common, but I feel like many things that I think are common are not on these forums.

    I think people will understand that you want a more intimate ceremony and it may not fit everyone at that location.

    • Reply
  • Adrianna
    Expert June 2018
    Adrianna ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We are having a small, intimate ceremony and a big reception about an hour later. We'll send out two different invitations.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics