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Megan
Super October 2020

Invitation Phrasing

Megan, on September 16, 2019 at 9:42 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 25
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Hi all! (Sorry in advance for the long post!)

So I’m going back and forth on how to phrase my invitations (I’m designing my own). My mother said that she hates how I phrased them, because I didn’t go the super-traditional route.

She would like them to say the names of the parents, specifically the bride’s parents (she doesn’t care if we mention groom’s parents) for example:

Mr. and Mrs. D invite you to the wedding of their daughter,
Megan, to Nicholas,
Son of Mr. and Mrs. D.

FH and I just don’t like this phrasing for a number of reasons. I realize that it acknowledges the parents and I want to do that, but I think the wording is a little old school for both of us.

I went for a simpler version (don’t worry we’ll use full names):

Together with their parents,
Megan and Nicholas D
invite you to join them as they exchange wedding vows

Like I said, my mother HATES it. She wants her name on the invitation. She wants that specific phrasing, and thinks I’m being rude and tacky, which is not what I’m going for!

She told me that if I’m not going to put her name on the invitations, then I should just rephrase it to this:

You are joyfully invited to the wedding celebration of...

Which is nice, but it’s definitely not “honoring the parents” if that’s what she’s concerned about.

I’ve done research on other invitations and a lot of them have similar phrasing. Is this something that’s changing with the times, or am I just wrong?

25 Comments

Latest activity by Megan, on September 16, 2019 at 4:25 PM
  • N
    Master January 2015
    null ·
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    Personally, I'm much more comfortable with the "together with their parents" phrasing. I know it's about honoring the parents, but six names on one invitation seems a little excessive to me. I think it takes away from the elegance of the invite because it becomes all wordy. But that's just my opinion. We'll have plenty of ways to honor our parents other than just the invites, like their gifts the day of, toasts and thank yous at the reception, and even programs (if we decide to go this route).

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  • Megan
    Super October 2020
    Megan ·
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    That’s how I feel! 2 names is enough lol.

    I feel like it’s too stuffy and wordy, and since I’m designing my own, I’m limited on space (I’m sure a better designer could make it work). Thanks for the validation haha
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  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
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    Frankly, guests don't care. That's your mom's ego. I don't see the big deal but it clearly matters to her. If you don't want the traditional wording, don't do it.

    We didn't include anyone's names other than our own in the invitations. It was our wedding. We paid for the majority of the wedding. My parents gave us about a quarter of the money, but in my mind, we were doing them a favor. We didn't want a wedding period. We ended up having a small 71 person wedding where 13 of the guests were their friends. I know my mom was a little disappointed we didn't put their names on the invitation but it actually wasn't even intentional. I just used the wording the store used. 🤷‍♀️
    I've seen most invitations say "together with their families..."
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    Honestly people don’t really care but I prefer the one that your proposed “Together with their parents....”. The other is very old school and it sounds like your mother is trying to make this about her. You might need to set some boundaries quickly.
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  • Megan
    Super October 2020
    Megan ·
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    Thank you! It’s good to hear that guests wouldn’t care. I think that’s part of what she’s worried about. Idk 😐
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  • Megan
    Super October 2020
    Megan ·
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    That’s exactly what my fiancé said! He couldn’t even believe that she wanted her name on the invitation haha

    Also is it just me or does the old school phrasing seem more like I’m being given over as property? 🤔
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    Kinda. I would just go with what you and your FH like and your mom will get over it.
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  • Maria
    Super October 2019
    Maria ·
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    I put our names first. My mom is the opposite and doesn't like the traditional wording. She said it's YOUR wedding and should look like it! lol. I still wanted to include their names so I put them below "Together with their parents"

    Invitation Phrasing 1


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  • Lizzy
    Super October 2019
    Lizzy ·
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    We did together with their parents on ours as we had both sets help us with paying for the wedding.
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  • FutureStephD
    Super March 2019
    FutureStephD ·
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    Totally get that!

    I think it is also super traditional and formal, which I think depends on the person and the wedding if they want that or not.

    Questions to think about - is your wedding super traditional and formal? If not, makes sense to do it your way.

    Is your mom paying for the entire wedding? If so, is that why she wants her name there?
    My parents gave us half of what they said they would, which equated to 1/3rd of the wedding. They were not happy when we didn't include their name on the invite nor let them give a welcome speech as if they paid for the whole thing. Sorry. Nope.

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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    None of your guests will notice one way or the other. To be honest, I had to look at our wedding pictures to see what ours said lol, so you may not remember either after a while.

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  • Susan
    Devoted October 2021
    Susan ·
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    I used "Together with their parents" on my wedding invitations. I don't see anything wrong with it. It may be one of those old fashioned notions parents have. You could also, if you want to be super informal, do something like "Dave, Joan, Paul, and Sarah invite you to the wedding of their children" but it's starting to get messy just for the sake of putting names on there...

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  • Megan
    Super October 2020
    Megan ·
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    We are not traditional or formal. At ALL. We’re having a barn wedding. So the formality of the phrasing wouldn’t match at all.

    My mom is very particular about certain things. Like invitations. The dress? She could care less. But pieces of paper that are literally going to get thrown out...
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  • Megan
    Super October 2020
    Megan ·
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    Haha THANK YOU! This honestly made me feel so much better about this. I shouldn’t sweat the small stuff. There are much bigger issues to tackle than invitations.
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  • Megan
    Super October 2020
    Megan ·
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    Thank you so much for the suggestion! I ran it by her and .... she hates it! She said it looks like she’s an afterthought. 🤦‍♀️
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  • Maria
    Super October 2019
    Maria ·
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    Haha well maybe gently remind her that you and your fiance are the most important people on your wedding day. No matter what you choose, pick what makes you happy! Everyone throws away invitations so they won't even notice what way it is worded.

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  • Amers
    Savvy February 2020
    Amers ·
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    I LOVE your "together with their parents" phrasing. I even wrote it down to potentially use for my own. I understand she wants to be honored, but you and your fiance are literally the point of the day. Yes, they are your parents but this is YOUR day, not hers. You do it the way that you want! Smiley smile

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  • Sara
    Super October 2019
    Sara ·
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    We did "together with their families" on our invites, but I truly don't think anyone noticed or cared. My mom wanted some kind of acknowledgement (she's paying for half the wedding), but that was good enough for us. I agree that listing the parents' names feels way more old school and like they're giving you away for marriage instead of you choosing to get married by yourself. Good luck convincing your mom!

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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    We're using the phrase, "together with their families" and not putting anyone's names but ours!! It's our wedding!!

    Your mom is being extra about this. None of the guests will care or even notice your wording, or the fact that her name isn't on there. It's not her wedding!

    There are way more important issues to tackle and stress over. This isn't one of them. Just do it the way you and FH want it, and she'll get over it.

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  • VIP November 2021
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    No I totally agree with you, I like yours better and plus it’s YOUR WEDDING ! I would sit and talk to her and really say that’s what you are aiming for so that’s that
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