Introverted Groom, slightly concerned

I'm not married yet, so I don't have any success stories for you, but both my FH and I have anxiety (severely at times!) so we have asked our photographer to steal us away at sunset so we can have alone time in the middle of the wedding. I think that having some space to breathe and not constantly be greeting people will help our anxiety tremendously.

You all are a beautiful couple! I'm sure it'll work out so well.

Thank you! I feel terrible, like I'm not giving him enough credit right now. (also, I am PMSing so much I might punch a hole in the wall, so there's your evening TMI, but also explains why I'm off-kilter)

My FH is an introvert & I'm the outgoing one as well. I sometimes get nervous of how he'll be and what people will think. I too have anxiety so I think it is in our heads more than we realize. Anxiety sucks.

I think I'm so used to putting on a bit of a show (God, SO EXTROVERTED) that when he doesn't, it really shows a pretty big difference. Also, I look at some people's lovey dovey photos, and can't imagine him posing for those, because even though he's loving and devoted to me, he is so so private and wouldn't want someone to watch or capture intimate moments like that. But maybe he'll surprise me on the day of and play along. Or maybe I'll tell him to have a few beers beforehand and loosen up. Is that awful? I mean, I'll probably have a mimosa or two before the ceremony.

I'm just like your FH. Could you just voice this concern to him? If my FH told me he was worried about this I'd make an effort to smile a bit more, probably wouldn't talk any more, but I'd try to smile.

I'm afraid of making him more nervous by bringing it up. He's a pretty sensitive guy, which is actually a marvelous thing for the most part, but he'll also really take what I say to heart. And if I am borrowing trouble, I don't want to create it in real life by making him overthink things like I am.

Wow, I'm the hot mess express tonight. I realize how this must sound.

I have the opposite problem. My FH is the social butterfly and I'm not. I feel insanely uncomfortable when he loves on me in front of people and sometimes worry that I come off as disinterested. I also worry about holding the right facial expression throughout the ceremony.

I'm a massive (like MASSIVE) introvert, I'm also shy and have anxiety, and I did surprisingly well at my wedding! I probably even tricked some into thinking I was an extrovert haha! I had energy throughout the entire day and night (over 9 hours) and had a good time, even though normally I would need breaks. Normally I can only last like 2 or 3 maybe up to 4 hours at any social occasion or party. I think it must have been the excitement and adrenaline and ridiculous joy that got me through the day. I think the couples portraits was somewhat of a form of down time, as was the drive to the reception venue. We also did more dancing and less socializing at our wedding and I think that helped. I took short "breaks" to get water or use the restroom when I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and that helped too. I definitely mentally prepared myself for it as well in the months before the wedding because it was something I was worried about.

He LOVES dancing, and I think it'll be damned near impossible to get him off the dance floor once the music starts . . . and I'm actually fine with that. He's a great dancer, and it's so cute.

I think I'm mostly concerned about the ceremony and photos. I think he'll feel a lot better once the reception gets rolling.

Are you doing a first look or anything with him before the ceremony? It could help ease his mind to have some time with you beforehand.

Neither one of us want to do a first look. His exact words were, "Hell no! I don't want to see you until you're walking down the aisle!"

I did ask him without telling him what I preferred (which is also no first look), because I would have done one if it made him happy.

But you're right, that would have been a good idea. LOL.

My FH is also kind of an introvert and hates taking photos. I even had my sister and FMIL take our engagement photos for this reason, so I'm super worried about how he'll photograph on our big day. Luckily our photographer is wonderful and he knows that photos were at the top of my priority list, so I think he'll come through. And my sis and FMIL are great with the candids so at least we'll have that.

I actually did brief my (absolutely precious) photographer about his hate-hate relationships with cameras, and we decided we would do less posed shots and he would take more of a photojournalist approach to go after candids. I think it'll be better that way, and my particular photographer really shines doing this type of photography. So, fingers crossed. As long as he's just not totally tensed up in general the whole time, the photos should be good.

I think your FH having such a strong feeling about no first look is a sign that he will have emotion for the ceremony.

Photos might be a different story if he's anything like me where I start over thinking what I should do with my hands and then I just look awkward and uncomfortable. The photographer should be able to help with that. Maybe limit the amount of portraits at one time.

Most introverts know how to put on a show. So, I'm sure he will be fine. Or you'll have some amusing photographs.

My FH is exactly like this. He has the male version of resting bitch face and is an introvert, so he definitely comes off as pissy/grumpy when he doesn't want to engage with people.

I'm a bit worried about it but honestly, and this may sound harsh, but you're more than aware of his personality in this regard - so why would you expect him to act any differently on your wedding day? If my FH suddenly got all giddy and bubbly, I'd be questioning how much of his anxiety meds he took that day. I am assuming that this part of him is something that you love about him (and it sounds like it's a good foil to your more outgoing personality)? So don't sit there and imagine different ways it could be if only he were a little more or a little more that - then you wouldn't be marrying **him**, you'd be marrying someone else.

One way we're mitigating some of my FH's anxiety and nerves, though, is by doing a first look. It looks like you're not, which is fine - you just need to not base your expectations of him on the stereotypical reaction and instead on what you know he'll do. And the reaction he'll have will be perfect because it's his, not someone else's.

Re-read your first paragraph of this post a few times, let it sink in. Now, move on and enjoy every minute!

My fh and I are both pretty introverted lol I'm completely comfortable with my side but there's a fee people on his side I just shut down around . .. I can't help it ...

@KittyPrawn, that and one other thing are comforting to me - it was his idea to write our own vows, and he keeps telling me how he's going to "go rogue" and everyone is "going to cry so hard."

So, it appears he is feeling confident about a few things. Maybe moreso than me, if I'm being honest. I'm a bundle of nerves.

Y'all are all making me feel a lot better. Thank you for calming me down.

It sounds like he will be fine, even if being around alot of unfamiliar people makes him a bit nervous. I wouldn't read into it too much. He sounds excited! My FH is a very shy guy too even with close friends and family. Shoot, he's even reserved with me at times. He really does not want to say our own vows, he's even freaking out a little about standing in front of everyone during the ceremony. Public speaking is his literal night mare. So I understand your concerns. But your FH sounds like he's really looking forward to the vows and all that which is good and tells me he will most likely let his excitement win out over his nerves