Introverted Bride, Majorly Extroverted Groom

Schedule time out between events to go somewhere quiet and cool down. Even if it's just fifteen minutes, a little alone time with something special for you might help you chill out. I'm autistic and have an extremely low people tolerance, so something like that is an absolute must for me.

Isn't there some room for compromise there? Could you two get married privately then have a large reception ? I feel as though your FH should be sensitive to the fact that your shy and have extreme anxiety to large crowds and a lot of attention.

*Invites have already been sent. Groom's parents have already invited the huge family to the rehearsal dinner. Groom cut almost all of his friends from the list to help me. Bottom line: Number of people is set as low as possible and cannot be changed.

* Groom is very supportive and typically we handle this issue by sneaking out to take a walk alone at family gatherings or leaving parties early. We work very well together on a daily basis we just need help for the wedding.

I would love to be able to sneak away That's usually our go-to thing. How can I pull that off at my wedding though? I'm not sure where to sneak off to or how to do that discreetly.

You can build in sneak-away time. Private pictures after the ceremony. You should have a DOC or trusted friend in charge of turning people away.

Then I would suggest another one after dinner, maybe right before or after the cake cutting. Most venues have a complimentary holding room for the bride and groom which you should be able to use. That should give you one every couple of hours.

I think you'll still be able to sneak away. If anyone asks, blame it on having to take pictures or just wanting a private moment with your husband. Don't disappear for hours, but I'm sure a couple 15 minute breaks won't be noticed. I'm very similar. My FH has a huge family and loves people. I don't mind being the center of attention, but I will definitely get stressed being around family for three full days.

Hi Betsy,

Just FYI - you may want to change your avatar to something besides the default rings. Often, the rings are associated with trolls or advertisements and people will skip over them. Also, this will help you get more responses.

I agree with the other ladies. Stepping out for a few minutes with your FH will help break up the intensity. His family should understand the two of you wanting a few minutes alone, after all, you will have just gotten married!!

I feel ya - the older I get, the more I sort of crawl into myself. Even at small family birthday dinners, I'm uncomfortable being the center of attention, and I'm very close with my family. I am planning to snatch FH away for a few "alone" breaks under the guise of getting more pictures, or cleaning up after the cake cutting, etc.

The first thing I thought of was that Jewish weddings have built-in couple alone time -- the tradition is that immediately after the ceremony, the newlyweds spend the first 15 minutes of their married life with just each other, and often use the time to exchange gifts. I wonder if you could do something similar.

Do you have programs? Direct guests to head to cocktail hour when the ceremony's over, and mention that you'll take some time to yourselves and join them after photos -- then direct your photographer and anyone you're taking pictures with by word of mouth that photos start 15 minutes after the ceremony ends rather than immediately.