Intimate wedding

Hmmm a little different. We are doing a minimony with just two friends and my big brother. Cost wise it is nicer and I can splurge in areas where I could not with a larger wedding. There are benefits to it for sure.

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The reason behind this decision was because he's family is in Peru and I felt horrible because it would've just been my family and friends . and then theres also the bridal showers and stuff so I just feel absolutely horrible about things I want the big wedding for sure but then there is my fiancé's family not being able to come only his 7 ppl out of my 84 ppl so thats why we have changed things

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Oh honey you're thinking about this all wrong. Have the big wedding stateside and have a small family one in Peru...at Machu Pichu lol. I mean you could ultimately have two weddings but make them both cost effective. Even if the Peru one is at a family members house and have a cost effective on here for the bigger day. Thoughts?

View Quoted Comment I mean it’s expensive and we don’t have the money to do that .

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But the other question would be is how would we do a bridal showers and stuff ... I just feel absolutely horrible to even have anything :/ ugh this is so hard

We did this because of covid. It was perfect but it wasn't our plan from the beginning, so I was in a different situation than you are regarding the shower. But the thing is, the bride isn't supposed to plan the shower. You don't have to have a bridal shower at all, but if someone wants to throw one for you, just make sure it's a no gift shower. They can host it over Zoom if you also want to include some of your Peruvian soon-to-be relatives.


We only invited our immediate families to our miniwedding. We had everything we would've wanted at a big wedding, but on a smaller scale. Do you have any specific questions about how to make the actual wedding part happen?

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Here is what I think. I like that you are keeping him in mind and do not want him to feel awkward but you do not want to regret anything. You seem to want the big wedding so I feel you should have one. Weddings are expensive so I feel you should look for cost effective ways to do it. Like maybe a brunch wedding or my friend last year had her ceremony in a park and then had the reception at her club house and had party trays to feed the guests. Was not fancy but it was actually nice. Another friend had an afternoon reception and did build a burgers at a local country club (country clubs can be pretty cost effective from the research I did). The pre wedding events others throw for you so hopefully your mom or bridal party will coordinate those for you.

I think a happy medium at some point you should fly to Peru (not that expensive...I have been there) and his family should in some way they may want to be involved. Your main wedding may be mostly your friends and family but if he has friends local of course they can come but even if for your 1 year maybe do some kind of small party in Peru where his family can be here. I do not expect you to literally have two weddings. The second one could be just a small celebration at one of the family members houses. You could even do that before the big wedding or something. I feel like this...average weddings are around $30,000 which I am not sure if you were planning to spend that but if you do some researcher you can easily cut that in half and then use the rest of the money to go to his hometown which I think would be special for him.

Hello Caroline,

FS and I are having 10 guests in a few days, mostly my immediate family and some close family friends. We originally wanted to do something small anyway so in a way COVID has helped us to get exactly what we really wanted. The only aspect we will miss will be his children not being there. Our wedding reset was a quick turn around and we all weren't able for everyone we would have wanted to come to be able to join us now.

I know it's difficult not being able to have all the family you want to be there, as even some of my family will be absent. But in this age of technology, I'm sure you can find a way to include the people that can't physically be there. And then with COVID still running around, it's probably for the best.

Perhaps you can take a special trip to where your FS is from and you can spend more time there than you may have planned to. It would be nice to get away and have him give you the "local" tour - where you get to see all the really cool stuff that most tourists don't even know exists. I did that recently with my FS as he came down to visit me for his b'day in July. I'm from St. Thomas VI and even though he actually lived here for almost 3 years, there are still some things he's never done so we take advantage of me knowing where to go.

Oh wow! We are also having a intimate wedding, and he is also Peruvian

Here's what I'm doing so it can still feel beautiful, bridal and like an actual wedding. I'm having my mom, dad, sister, brother, sister-in-law and their baby there. He will have some of his siblings who are local present, maybe even his mom. His dad and any other family who is willing, will be live streaming it via zoom.

I picked a not-to-expensive white dress from Azazie, will be decorating the area, I'm getting silk flowers, makeup and hair. My dad will still walk me down the "aisle" and after getting married we will have a candle ceremony.

We have a small cake that we will cut . We will chill there and socialize for a while, but then that night we go to a fancy restaurant that we have always wanted to go to together. Then we are going on a mini-moon to match our mini-ceremony lol. We are thinking of having a large wedding next year or the year after.

To some it might not seem like a lot, but I'm so excited Covid-era brides are going through a season that our moms and their moms, aunts, older sisters etc. didn't have to go to through wedding planning. This season is unique and presents uniquely from bride to bride. But we are all in it together! If you believe in Jesus, I'd encourage you to be prayerful..He has really walked me through this process and given me ideas that I wouldn't have had otherwise.

I'm hoping all the best for you and look forward to hearing what plan you decide on!

View Quoted Comment We plan on doing that one day , what did you do for bridal showers and stuff

View Quoted Comment Yeah that sounds fun but I have ALOT of family and friends he doesn’t have any but his mom had a few .... so I just ;/ I feel bad becahsw the place we chose only allows 200 and I’m 84 of that if we keep to the list we made we might be able to but if my mother wants to put more idk if this will work :/

View Quoted Comment But what if they bring gifts anyway ?

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I think you need to have a serious talk with your fiance and see how he feels. I think it is great you are taking him into account but he should know how you feel and maybe he is okay with it. You could fly his mom in as that would be cheaper.

View Quoted Comment His mom is here it’s just his aunts and uncles and that part of the family that isn’t here. He said he didn’t care but I’m the type of person who rlly wants to make everyone happy

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Of course and I think that is sweet. Oh that is why I suggested a small family get together one day in Peru for his family. I feel you should have the day you want even if on a small scale? Maybe you have the small intimate wedding if only his mom and a few friends show that is the take a way of living in a different country. Truly it is us women that care most about the wedding so he may not be bothered by it. I think you would regret not having somewhat of the day you envisioned.

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I haven't had any showers or anything yet and we're only 4 days away. I'm not sure if my mom and aunt may do something once I get home tomorrow so . . .

I don't want to feel like I'm missing out but it 's hard not too. But I'm happy to be getting to the main event soon.

View Quoted Comment I wanted a HUGE wedding but idk :/ I feel ugh 🤦‍♀️ 😫

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Take your time and do not over think it. Remember huge weddings cost huge money. Funny 100 people is considered intimate but I feel that is a lot. I think if your husband has not said he does not care you have the go ahead. I feel you should do special nods to him. For our minimony I have done a lot personal references to him down to our cake topper, the venue for dinner after because he is doing this for me but I want him to enjoy the day. I could make this about me but I am not (apart from photography lol). I feel if you include things he likes and his culture it can be nice. Do not do assigned seating for the ceremony but make the ceremony about you two and chill he will have fun.

Caroline, one option is to have an intimate and beautiful ceremony with a small group, and do all the things that you’ve dreamed of for your big wedding but on a smaller scale. You’ll save a ton of money and you will still have a meaningful event that will satisfy your dreams.

Then in a few years when COVID has passed and you’ve saved up a bit you can throw a huge bash to renew your vows with that big group.