Intimate Ceremony...Big Reception?

1. yes! Very rude!!!!!!!

2. Pretty much, yes.

As a guest, I personally wouldn't care, but is the reception at the same place you want to have at your ceremony? If it is, it would just be easier to get it over with in one day.

1. If they are on different days I don't see the big deal. I'd probably spread it out by a few weeks or something though

2. No

1 - as long as it is like, 10 people or fewer, you can get away with this.

2 - YES, this is crazy. why on earth would you NOT do it on the same day??

I don't think it's that rude to invite people to the reception and not the ceremony. I'd consider it a much bigger faux pas to do it the other way (invite to ceremony but not reception).

The reception is the fun (and more expensive) part... who wouldn't be happy to dance, eat, drink and celebrate with their friends without having to sit through a "boring" ceremony first?

People go to weddings for the food and drink and to check out how the bride looks after spending a million bucks.

The different days things is really only inconvenient to the people who are invited to both... and those are supposedly the people you are most close to, and therefor probably shouldn't mind it too much.

I went to a friend's wedding a couple summers ago. They had a private ceremony with just the immediate family. Then there was a reception in their backyard afterwards with family & friends. I honestly didn't think much of it.

The venue for our ceremony is really small and not a reasonable drive for most guests. So if we went with this option, we were going to have two different venues. (Basically we want to get eloped but we don't want to leave everyone out either so we are attempting to compromise with a small ceremony and big reception)

1. It's fine, but keep it very, very small.

2. Not at all. I do this all the time. I think it would be more relaxing for you to do separate days, but you can do whatever works for you.

I honestly think this is a brilliant plan. You might videotape the ceremony and show it at the big party. People do understand when a ceremony is private (that being said, it should be VERY private; as in immediate family ONLY). Many, sad to say, will be relieved.

UGH .. how many more posts on the same subject?

As explained in previous posts - many people doing this (including me). Personal feelings (for us) we dont want to recite our vows in front of a large crowd, we are doing immediate family only for ceremony & larger reception later..nothing wrong with it & you are soo not crazy!!

I'm on the fence with this one - since you mentioned it's just the parents and g-parents I think I'd be cool with it. But if it were larger than that I would start thinking, "I'm close enough to you for the reception, but not close enough to witness the actual marriage ceremony?"

I'd rather just get it all over with in one day - this planning is exhausting!

@Mrs_K - Ugh why do you find the need to complain and post useless comments

A lot of people here will say that it's offensive. i don't think so, as long as it's a really small ceremony (if it was, like, 100 people for the ceremony and 150 for the reception then those 50 extra people might be offended, but if it's 10 people for the ceremony and 150 people for the reception then it's easier to accept not being part of the inner inner circle).

my only concern would be able what you have to "double" on if you do it two separate weekends...do you want to look the exact same on both days? and just the potential added stress. but if you can handle both then go for it.

I don't see a problem with it. The last wedding I went to the ceremony was only about 50 people. they had it in the small church that the bride and groom attended, so it was mainly just immediate family at the ceremony. Her reception had almost 300 people (they both have pretty large families) there was an obvious reason why she couldn't invite everyone to both, and I feel that people would be happy to attend at least the reception. I know my fiance and I were.

Just do it on one day. Why wouldn't the reception be close by to the ceremony site? 2 hours isn't really that far to drive.

1 - Mormons do this all the time. So no.

2 - Crazy? Nah. Slightly insane? Maybe

Wanted to add, I've had many very shy couples who really didn't want their ceremony to be in front of many, many people, some of which (on their parents' guest lists" they didn't really know. By keeping their ceremony to very close family, they were much more relaxed.

I am happy the previous post brought this up. We are having a private ceremony with wedding party, parents, grandparents, and sibling becuase we are both what you could call shy people. It's not that we don't want other people there, but we just would rather be the least nervous as possible for our vows. We have been to many wedding where the ceremony was private and the reception was big and I have never once felt offended or left out. Do what you want, it's your wedding!

1. It's not rude at all particularly if you want a small ceremony. We are doing the same. Our ceremony will be at a lighthouse (park area), which means we need to rent the chairs. In addition, it will be a destination wedding for some (I'm from Puerto Rico but fiancee is from NY). So, we are having 50 guest, the people who are traveling plus my very close relative and friends. We are having about 100 people total for the reception, which will be about an hour later at a place about 15-20 mins away.

2. You are not crazy. We didn't consider two different days because I just want to get it done and relax after. Two different days/weekends will be too much stress for me.

If it is a very intimate ceremony with just immediate family, it is ok to do this.

Yes you can have the reception on a different day. You are inviting people to a party celebrate your marriage. There is nothing wrong with this. It isn't against etiquette to invite people to a party.

I think its perfectly fine. As a guest, I wouldn't be offended at all. However, im doing something similar with a reception weeks later and wanted to bring up a few points of why doing it the same day may be better. These are things I never considered and are being a slight pain in my a$$. ;-)

-will you be having to pay to get your hair and makeup done twice?

- will you have to repurchase corsages & boutonnieres for the parents and FH?

-will you want to wear your dress again or will you feel the need to get a reception dress?

-will the excitement still be there to party it up weeks later with everyone else?

-what will you do post wedding to celebrate with the family?

-will you want a cake/toast for your wedding day?

-will you have pictures or video to show guests at the reception?

-will you need a photographer/videotaped for the reception too?