Interfaith Wedding Readings- Catholic/Buddhist

I can't imagine that would go over. As far as I understand, if it's not a mass that just means they don't do Communion.

You know you have other options, right? I'm not being judgmental; I'm just comprehending what you wrote. He's a Catholic -- in the sense that he goes to mass "occasionally". You're a Buddhist --in the sense that you're not religious. So why pull yourself through knot holes that don't begin to match the shape of your lives? Why bother going through a denominational book so that you can try to select (from the limited options) what words and phrases properly reflect "occasional practicing Catholic" and "non-religious Buddhist"? Seriously, why?

Hire a professional, interfatih officiant. Tell him/her all about your story and your spiritual beliefs. If they're professionals with the gift of words, they will write a perfectly tailored ceremony that will have you in awe of how beautifully they "got you".

Will it cost you some money? Yes, but quality and personalized outcomes always costs. Your ceremony is the apex of your day, so skip the fluff of arbors, favors, sequined tablecloths, an army of votive candles, photobooths, a dessert table, and a big limo to take you away from your reception, and use those funds to pay for a professional officiant who will not only set the tone for the entire wedding, but who can write so beautifully that each guest will know, and respect, exactly who you are -- as individuals and a couple.

Catholic ceremony means must have readings from the Catholic bible. Usually one from old testament, one from new testament and one gospel reading. No getting around that. There are some readings that have been used often and feel more contemporary. It is not a sacrament because mixed marriages are not sacramental...again a Catholic church rule. They are recognized by the church but not a sacrament. If the non-Catholic ever gets baptised, another ceremony can be done to make it sacramental. I've been reading A LOT about Catholic weddings recently because I am marrying a non-Catholic and will need a dispensation to marry and one to have a ceremony in a place other than a Catholic church. ETA: I am a practicing Catholic and a ceremony with a Catholic priest is important to me. It's what I always thought my wedding would be. It's not for everyone. OP, you should make it clear what you want and assess whether that can be done in a Catholic ceremony.

Well unfortunately it's already a done deal. We've paid the church.

We are getting married in the Church in order to avoid a giant meltdown from his family. We decided it wasn't worth it.

FH is still Catholic. Even if he doesn't go to Mass every week. And he also wanted to have it done in a Church.

There are two ways to look at Buddhism, as a religion or a philosophy. I chose as a philosophy so I suppose that would make me agnostic in that sense. I grew up always wanting to be married in a Church. I was raised Methodist, and honestly thought I would be married by my old hippy minister.

We are getting married this September so we don't really have the room to change much. Also I couldn't pick another time due to the way my grad schooling is.

It isn't and never has been a money issue. We have none of those things as it is. It's a very eco friendly wedding.

I suppose if it can't be done it can't be done.

You could give the priest some readings that you would like him to reference in the homily. That might help in incorporating your thoughts.

I'm probably just going to let it slide as it is. The reception is how I want it.

It's not that I find anything offensive in the ceremony. I just feel like it's going to be one sided. But I suppose i should've seen that coming. I did go to Catholic school for four years. Should've paid more attention in religion class I guess.

Hello! I'm a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic and did some research on how to approach this. I found this video helpful in explaining the differences if one spouse isn't Catholic. FH watched it (sped up) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uAHwtBRg5c&t=903s

What kind of contemporary readings were you thinking to include? Is there a way to include in written format somewhere or read prior to dinner?

Also for music, churches differ but our pianist will be playing some modern albeit religious themed music (Josh Groban, Celine Dion).

Pretty much no Catholic church is going to let you include non Catholic readings in a Catholic ceremony. It couldn't hurt to ask the priest; I"d honestly be interested in the answer.

Pretty much no Catholic church is going to let you include non Catholic readings in a Catholic ceremony. It couldn't hurt to ask the priest; I"d honestly be interested in the answer.

Okay, then for all the reasons you listed, it is what it is, and your decision to "let it slide" is probably all you can do. And yes, most of us know the difference between a philosophy and a religion. I know I assumed that's what you were describing (which is why I felt an independent officiant was the way to go).

However, at this point, you've decided to get married in the Catholic Church to avoid a family meltdown (mistake, but done), have paid the church (again, what's done is done), you don't have time to change much (and we can't help you with that), and because of grad school, this date if fixed (another immutable).

The Catholic Church isn't known for it's flexibility, and even a person who attends mass occasionally knows that, so, it is what it is.

Good luck.

We have emailed the priest to ask if it'll be possible. He is an old family friend of both sides, so we will see what he says.

It wasn't a mistake to say "Ok we can get married in the Church." Like I said I don't really care if it's in the Church or if it's particularly Catholic. I just wondered if anybody had been through a similar thing and had essentially gotten away with down toning the Bible readings.

I think it's an ok sacrifice to make certain his family will continue to see him in the years to come.

As far as music. I have always been a classical fan for weddings so I came in ready to go on that part. Brought in my old sheet music. The director just laughed.

We did include them. I mean it's stuff from old literature so it's pretty much on par for the course.

I should add that the priest is allowing handfasting at the ceremony. Now whether he or our MOH/BM do it, tbd. So it's not like we haven't tweaked the ceremony a little anyway. Perhaps we could read these during the handfasting.

I have no first- hand knowledge of whether this would be acceptable, so take this suggestion with a grain of salt.

The poet James Kavanaugh was a catholic priest as well as a poet, and he has lovely works that aren't overtly religious. Could you ask about incorporating a non-religious/non-catholic reading of the author was catholic?

We're getting ready for our Pre-Cana but it's my understanding that the church is pretty set in their ways when it comes to readings and music selection. The priest who will be officiating our wedding did an acoustic version of Hallelujah (The OC styling) during Christmas mass a few years ago so I am hopeful he's a little more progressive than most.

I hope you have some joy with the readings but from my expierence of catholic weddings I have never heard readings that weren't from a set list. Some are bette than others. As for music I'm sorry to hear about the director as there can be flexibility there, it depends on the individual church though. Some are very flexible and others aren't. can you bring in your own musicians or does it have to be set ones by that church? That can be a way around it. ETA: I am a "catholic" most weddings not including my own that I've been to were catholic. I have often played music in the church for weddings.

I was raised hard core Catholic and have been to at least a dozen Catholic weddings. I have never seen anything "modern" incorporated or any flexibility in the wording of the ceremony/reading. I have seen only very minimal flexibility on music. Even without a full Mass. As far as I know, there is no such thing as a not-really-Catholic Catholic wedding.

FH and I are both Catholics and are getting married in the Catholic Church. We are not having a full mass, but the only thing different between our ceremony and the full mass is our ceremony won't include bringing up gifts or Communion.

I was also given a booklet to choose readings/songs from, and aside from possibly making a request for an acoustic version of a non-religious song for the recessional... that's how it'll need to go.

Oh no no! You misunderstand. The music director laughed at my dorkiness! We have classical music. It's going to be fantastic.

As long as I can do the handfasting, I'll be content with the ceremony. I just wondered if it was possible. Seems like unless Father can/is willing to mess with the ceremony it won't really be happening.

I should've brought this to his attention in person. I find that it's always easier to get people to agree in person.. But I didn't think of it until later. And I was having a mini panic attack just being thrown around all day from vendor to vendor to church.

Never schedule 4 vendor meetings in one day. It's hell. We will probably pick the best options from what we are given.

Oh good, glad that you are able to have the music you want.

Perhaps you can work this into the ceremony or include it in your printed program (if you're having one):

“Today we promise to dedicate ourselves completely to each other, with body, speech, and mind. In this life, in every situation, in wealth or poverty, in health or sickness, in happiness or difficulty, we will work to help each other perfectly. The purpose of our relationship will be to attain enlightenment by perfecting our kindness and compassion toward all sentient beings.”

Lama Thubten Yeshe