Indian wedding

I think we've had brides have two ceremonies when the cultural differences are pretty vast. I'm not saying it's ideal, but it might be something to think about. Or, Indian traditional dress for the ceremony, big white dress for your reception?

What about two ceremonies one for each culture? Know my photographer shared pics of a wedding she did. One day for each culture. So it was a wedding weekend.

As a very first step, it might help to sit down and discuss ideals for the Indian wedding. Normally, I would say no FMIL, but in this case, I'm not sure if your FI on his own will be super helpful so as long as you had him communicate some ground rules (aka this is ONLY an info session, no plans will be made) and he is comfortable enforcing them, it may actually be useful to have her participate.

I think it is really important that you emphasize that this is ONLY for her to familiarize you with what a "usual" wedding is like. It is then up to you and FI to go and discuss how that could work for the two of you, which she will then need to accept.

I'm Indian and most of the time I've seen two ceremonies. Usually one American style with the white dress and a different ceremony with the traditional red saree. And by the way, I'm also marrying a Caucasian and since my family is Christian, our wedding will be the American traditional way: white dress and in a church with a reception to follow.

I'm okay just doing the Indian ceremony and wearing whatever she wants but for the reception I rather my dress. White is completely out of the question because of a superstition.

I think if you want to wear white, you should wear white. It's YOUR wedding, not hers. Who is paying?

I know, and she makes my fiancé feel bad and it puts him in the middle. His parents are paying which is making it hard. I don't mind trying on Indian dresses for the reception but I don't like how I'm already being told no. She's buying my dress for the ceremony and it was told to me.

If she's paying she does get a say

White is what they wear to funerals in the Hindi culture, which is why they do not wear white at the weddings. I would second the two ceremonies or wearing a sari for the ceremony and a pretty red or pink or blush dress for the reception.

You are compromising by have an Indian ceremony in traditional clothing. Yes she's paying, but she needs to compromise to let you wear what you want for the reception.

Little give and take on both ends.

Yes I totally agree! I'm having a hard time finding a blush dress that doesn't resemble white

Two ceremonies or you as a couple pay for the wedding.

I second paying as a couple now that you shared parents are paying.

I said that and I think she would still have a say. Apparently when the son gets married, the mother of the groom does it all

I am white and my FH is Hindu. We are doing two ceremonies, both in the same day. We start with the Hindu ceremony, we are wearing usual clothes (I have a red lehenga) and everyone in my family is wearing Indian clothes too. Then we are having a typical American/western ceremony. I'll be wearing an ivory/lace dress and he's wearing a navy suit. I should add that we are paying for everything but it never became a concern or issue about the white-ish dress.

Also, we stayed away as much as possible from "their way/your ceremony/my ceremony/my way"... IMO, it makes things sound very divisive for a day that is symbolizing your union together. You're merging cultures and families and everyone has to become accustomed to the differences in lifestyle and background that are coming together. I echo what others have said about sitting down and just having a discussion about it, coming to a compromise. Also I've seen some lovely dresses in blush or taupe that would work well. I've also seen many lehengas/sari's that are ivory with gold, or red/green, or pink dupatta, which is another way you could blend everything together.

Thank you all so much!! All your comments have truly helped

My FH is half Indian, and he is having family fly in from India. We are doing an Episcopal ceremony since my family is paying for the wedding. I am, however, wearing the gold jewelry his parents brought back from India. Also we are serving vegetarian Indian food at the reception. It is a compromise. I went to an Indian/Chinese wedding where the mother of the groom insisted on a traditional Indian ceremony (all four days) and Indian food.

Regardless, try have fun with the traditions. Saris are beautiful.

Traditionally the Indian wedding dress is red. You could wear the traditional one for the ceremony and a white or pink dress for the reception. I've seen that for interfaith marriages.

I've done many, many western style weddings for mixed couples after their traditional Indian ceremonies, and at those ceremonies, the bride wears white. I did one woman who wore a pink sequined wedding dress that was truly fabulous. Weirdly enough, it did look a little like a sari, and it was magnificent.

I think it really is a compromise, maybe the first big one in your marriage. You should be able to wear what you want, short of being insulting.

Yes they aren't seeing it as interfaith, just Indian. So it's a little difficult. The Indian dresses I want to wear for the reception are beautiful but I'm so used to the way the American dresses look that I want to feel like a bride. I could definitely wear an Indian dress but want it to look a little Americanized if that makes sense