Incorporating my cousins in the ceremony. Advice needed.

Continue**

Is there anything else that I can have them do that isn't "lame?" I personally thought it would be cute but I don't want them to feel like they aren't as important as the flower girl. I want everyone to feel important.

I also think it would be strange to have 3 flower girls.

How old are the 2 girls that you're trying to include?

I don't think it would be weird to have a couple of flower girls. How does FH want to have his family incorporated into the bridal party and ceremony? If he doesn't like your ideas, he needs to offer up some of his own.

Wait, how is his family not included if his 2 cousins are your bridesmaids? I don't understand what he's complaining about.

I hate the sign shit, why is that funny? I really don't get that.

ETA: I agree with FH, its lame, just let them be flower girls. I have two.

1. Please don't do the signs, especially the ones you mentioned, because those make it seem like he doesn't really want to get married and is being forced into it.

2. The people you choose to be MOH, BMs, FG should be those that are closest to you and people that you can't imagine not standing next to you that day. You shouldn't choose someone just because your FH thinks you should

I find the signs to be adorable and funny. If he has such a huge problem with it tell him, instead of getting upset and expecting you to be a mind reader, to contribute ideas on what he wants his family to do.

Ugh, please don't do that sign, it's not cute, it's kinda demeaning.

I agree, have 3 flower girls. I have 2.

My cousins are 8 and 9. He never asked me to include his family in my bridal party. I just wanted everyone to feel included and like I want to be apart of there family especially because I haven't had much contact with them through our relationship. maybe they can walk down with bouquets instead? I did already order the signs lol. I didn't know it was a super cheesy thing. I doubt people will assume he would not want to marry me because of some cute signs. maybe I'm wrong

I do agree that he is complaining for no good reason. I think its because the few times he wanted to be involved I didn't like the ideas. For example, He wanted his 21 year old cousin to be the flower girl originally. I wouldn't accept that. Most of his ideas were like that... I did take most of his ideas and suggestions. I'm no bridezilla.

I think it's perfectly okay to have more than one flower girl. I have seen it done before.

PLEASE don't do the signs!

"I do agree that he is complaining for no good reason. I think its because the few times he wanted to be involved I didn't like the ideas."

^^This is precisely the reason. The wedding isn't just about you, it's about both of you. Yes, you may not like all his opinions, but from what it sounds like, he feels that you're controlling all the decisions. Maybe try to get him involved in some way, so it doesn't seem like you're making all the decisions by yourself.

@Patricia,

The signs aren't cheesy or cute, they perpetrate the idea that the 'bride is dragging the groom to the alter' or 'making him marry her'.

The fact that people keep doing them under the guise of cute is where all the offensive sexist jokes come from.

Have you ever heard a guy ask another guy, " So you're dragging her to the alter huh? You better hope she doesn't run before she sees you"!

KPizzle I have tried to get him involved but planning really isn't his thing. He wanted to choose the DJ but wouldn't book anyone for an entire year so I had to find one last month so that we could actually have someone. We have a very popular weekend. The only meeting he attended with me has been the cake tasting ( he chose the cake) and the venue( we both loved) . He honestly has no interest in planning. I am in no way trying to control anything. I wanted him to be involved but he only wants to after decisions are made well after I ask for his input. He is now taking control of the wedding vows which I am thrilled about. He wants simple so that's what we are doing. I want him to know its bout both of us but he tells me over and over again "whatever you want. I don't know what to do." then randomly he will throw an idea in that is totally bizarre or has already been taken care of.

Kari I do see where your coming from. I see how it may look sexist but in the end its not going to stop jokes like "the old ball and chain." I would say I am a feminist but I also don't take everything so seriously. If he didn't want to be there he wouldn't. I doubt anyone will think I am forcing him. Though from most people saying the signs are stupid I may go with out. I don't want people rolling eyes hahah.

Multiple flower girls are very traditional. The only reason you often see single flower girls now is because people are having far smaller families. Princess Kate just had multiple flower girls. If it's good enough for the future king of England's wedding it's fine enough for yours.

Haha thanks sara! should they throw petals or just carry flowers?

Whichever you prefer. My aunt once had me carry flowers and my younger sister throw petals-she had the idea that throwing petals was just for little little girls.

Yah i would just have multiple flower girls- I have 2 in my wedding!

Maybe ask him who else he would like involved in the wedding now before you plan anymore. Or sit down & discuss whats important to you on your day- is it having your family all togetehr? spending time together as a couple? Getting your two families to mingle? If hes not good at planning details he can tell you what is important to him in general terms & you can work your magic to make details that reflect that.

i think planning a wedding is an amazing thing for couples to go through because it's all about shared vision & compromise! Have fun!!

Also, your fiance is offended by those signs because he loves you & is excited to marry you