Incorporating Christianity in my ceremony?

"Marriage: The legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman (or, in some jurisdictions, two people of the same sex) as partners in a relationship."

I assure you, marriage is still legal if it is not religious. You can say a prayer in your dressing room before going out or just have the officiant mention some religious things. But adding religious notes will not make it any more or less valid. You're still getting legally married.

I understand that it will be legally valid. But It won't *feel* right to *me* if God isn't' a part of it.

You could say a silent prayer before you walk down the aisle.

You could ask the officiant to pause "for a moment of silent reflection."

You could mention God in your vows -- repeat after the officiant, but add at the end "by the grace of God" or something similar.

Are you sure the officiant is not willing (or allowed) to add a prayer or blessing?

I have no idea what the officiant is or is not willing to do. I won't meet him or her until the day of the ceremony.

Maybe you could have your officiant say a brief prayer to start off the ceremony. I know you said you won't meet them until the day of but certainly you will have some form of communication. I would also suggest maybe instead of an actual scripture, maybe have someone read a religious poem or something. Maybe have someone sing a song. This is really difficult.

If it is important to you, I would hope that at least one of the people you are inviting to share your special day would be willing to put aside their personal beliefs and help make your day special.

Well, that's difficult since religion to each person is different. For my aunt, she says that anyone (even if you are the most religious person in the world) getting married in any place other than a church does not include God in their marriage. But when her only son got married at a park, that apparently wasn't the case. And growing up as a Catholic, I was told that God is every where there are 2 or more people. So that would mean that God would be present in your ceremony, even without being mentioned.

This is something you and you FH should have discussed before getting engaged because it's an important aspect of a wedding. You really need to speak with him and figure out what would work for you, since every person is different with their beliefs and feelings on this topic.

It is something we're discussing before we're getting married.

He would prefer that the wedding be completely secular but will be okay with a little bit of religion if that's what i want. So basically, it's up to me.

I had a traditional Lutheran ceremony, but my pastor toned it down a little because my husband isn't super religious. He started it with a saying from the bible about love that I don't remember, we exchanged vows, and then we ended with the Lord's Prayer. It was short, sweet, and not over done. No readings and no sermon.

The ideas given so far have been good. Have the officiant read a religious poem. Add God wording into your vows (if you are saying them and not just saying I Do). Praying before the ceremony starts. Again, you'll just have to figure this out between the two of you so you know what will work.

Thanks, all!

I just have to talk to FH tonight about what he's comfortable with (he doesn't like people talking about religion).

I am including my faith in our ceremony. Most of FH's family doesn't believe, but I really don't care. If they want to be there for our wedding ceremony, they'll have to sit through some Bible verses and a prayer. If they don't agree they don't have to go to the ceremony and that's fine with me.

If it's important to you - include it - it's your wedding.

I second what FutureMrsB said. It's your wedding ceremony, so do what's important to you. I have JW family member who might have had a hard time with my ceremony, but I didn't care. It's all about what you and your husband want

Ya, I agree with what everyone's saying. Regardless if they agree, you should do what makes you feel comfortable. Have you and your FH had a conversation about how all that is going to work in the future, like with kids, and holidays , and all that jazz? I mean, if God is really that important to you, and really that abhorrent to him....it would seem the issue is more significant that even the wedding ceremony.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

You can incorporate verse without calling it to attention. What Atheist can argue with this?

^^Love this one FH and I just read it at mass on Sunday. @MrsA2B I'm going from A2B as well and we are date twins! LOL

Can you talk to your coordinator or contact at the venue about getting in touch with the officiant?? I can't imagine not knowing or having any input into my ceremony until the DAY OF the wedding!!!

Yeah...that's a tough one. Legally, you don't need God to get married. Spiritually, it makes all the difference that He is a part of the ceremony when you have faith. Hopefully, your FH is understanding of the faith you have. Good luck.

MrsA2B called it! I Corinthians 13 is the classic "love chapter" (where my parents got my name... Charity). It's beautiful, not controversial, and captures the nature of God. I think you should NOT have to say a "silent" prayer in the dressing room just because most of your guests aren't religious. You're the bride and have the full right to include references to your faith and/or heritage in your ceremony. Having the officiant say a blessing over you as a couple is also a great option.

I love the " Love is patient, love is kind.." passage in Corinthians. Can you have your officiant read it since none of your friends/family will?

There will also probably be a prayer during the reception. I will make sure it's short, I don't care for over long prayers myself, but yeah I'm not too concerned what my guest think about that. They know we are Christian so *shrug*

1. Prayer before the ceremony

2. Scriptures for your readings

3. God's Knot

4. Handfasting

5. Take communion

6. Prayer after ceremony