Inconsiderate Family Members?

Did you explain the reasoning to her? Also, planning the bridal shower this far in advance is a little nutty IMHO. I wouldn't worry too much. That was really selfless of you to change your date for your FSIL and don't worry about the nutty people.

She knows exactly what's going on! I've never liked her and quite frankly I'd be perfectly ok with her and her daughters not coming to my wedding. If she's already booked it, let the other random family members decide. I just don't have the energy for "drama" about stupid things like this...

Gee that's too bad. Everyone has one of those people in their family. Looks like you may skate without her! So sorry to hear about your FFIL.

Edited for spelling

It is impossible to set a date that inconveniences absolutely no one. I think it's important to avoid the big conflicts - don't have an early September destination wedding if your family is full of teachers, for example. But basically any date is going to be a conflict for somebody somewhere.

A wedding is planned, typically, a year in advance. A shower is not. Auntie can pull out a calendar and find a different weekend.

She needs to change it. It's far too early to plan it and far too early for people to accurately rsvp...

Seriously who locks in a day for a shower 9 months away? But based on what you said it isn't locked in. And obviously it is something local because relatives are attending sorry your aunt is an idiot. Bleh! Although I loved you don't care if they don't show up. I agree hold your ground and if they call then ignore them.

She doesn't need to change the shower date and OP doesn't need to change her wedding date. OP doesn't even want her at the wedding so it's not a big deal of the dates conflict. Guests can choose which to attend.

OP, just ignore her. You have done nothing wrong and have enough going on I your life without worrying about this drama. She is also planning this shower insanely early. She sounds ridiculous.

A shower date is much easier to change than your wedding date! Who the hell plans a shower that far in advance anyway. She needs to stop being a beiotch and reschedule her shower. Also, is it not poor etiquette to plan your daughters shower? Just sayin. Honestly every family has someone like this, mine is blessed with 2+, but maybe if she does not come to your wedding it is a blessing.

That's crazy. Good jobs standing your ground. I WOULD NOT change my date - a wedding is more important than a shower - which can be easily changed.

I had a similar issue yesterday. Invites for my shower have been sent and FH's cousin writes and tells me they were planning on having her 6 yo's birthday party that day. They don't have a venue, a time, nothing, but they are already saying they might not come. FH's family is invited to both events - he's actually kind of pissed and hopes his cousin will have the party later in the day. His family tends to always do whatever this cousin wants and its irritating.

Sometimes people can get really bent out of shape when they are planning things like showers. she's probably stressed out over it, and panicked when she heard about the wedding the same day.

she's probably just tossing a fit, and needs to calm down.

is there someone else in the family that can deal with her? I think that she just needs someone to sit down with her for a cup of tea and explain to her that moving the shower time is not the end of the world and (at least I imagine) is workable.

try not to take it personally, she's probably under a lot of stress and when she heard about the conflict with her shower date she took it out on you.

I doubt if anyone thinking clearly is going to feel you need to change your wedding date because of a shower.

Why would they plan a shower that far out? I like exactly how you explained it to us, if you really want to get your point across Or just say, ok, do what you gotta do, buh byes. lol.

Her daughter must've just found out she's pregnant and she's planning the shower now? Keep your date. You and your FH already have a lot going on and don't need the extra drama.

"I was planning on doing X on Date Y," isn't the same as, "I have set x for date Y and have a venue." I was planning on being the first pink-haired fire juggler in space, but you don't see my butt at astronaut school. Or circus school, or the beauty parlor.

At this point, nothing would cause me to change my date again, let alone a shower. There is noooo reason why she can't do it another day. None. The fact that she would even call me about this when she knows what we're going through blows my freaking mind.

You seem to have a far better grasp on reality than she does, others are right, you don't need their drama. Plus, you don't have to pay for them to be guests when you are indifferent towards them anyhow....give their spot to someone who deserves it. Good riddance. You'll be better because of it.

Just continue with your wedding plans. You have a lot going on to handle this drama.

Wow! What is wrong with people!?! Good for you. I wouldn't change it either and shame on her for not changing the shower date (which isn't as important as a wedding..come on!) and not being reasonable. You have already been accommodating once to another family member!

Thanks ladies. I just really needed to vent. I feel like a moron complaining about this stuff in "real life" because clearly we have far bigger circumstances that we're dealing with. It's just frustrating that instead of lending some support, people feel the need to create unnecessary issues.

A WEDDING trumps a bridal shower. No question! There is no need to explain because she is being irrational! She will just have to pick a different day, and she just wanted to complain about it.

Every single thing going on with you and your FH trumps a wedding shower, especially one so far in advance. They can suck it. Hopefully they just don't come!