Including stepchildren/children during the ceremony?

Other than perhaps some sort of unity ceremony, I don't think it's right to have the children involved in vows. This is not their marriage, it's not anything they chose, this is between you and your FH.

I will not be including my children.

I have one child from previous marriage. She is my MOH (she's 12). She is going to be included in the sand ceremony. We have a vase and she has her own mini vase with her name on it also. FH doesn't have any children.

My son was our ring bearer and walked my mom to the front to light the unity candle.

I have 2 sons, they will be walking me down the aisle. I plan on making a slide show of the boys and including messages from them to play during the reception for their future step father.

I think including the children is a great idea. I have 1 and my fiance has 4. They are not just part of the wedding party we will all do a unity sand ceremony. It maybe my wedding day but I want all the kids to feel like it is partly their day to since we are blending a family. Whatever you decide is your day oh, so you could do things the way you want rather that be adding the kids or not adding the kids make it about you and how you feel.

My FH's sons (11 and 14) will hand out programs and be ushers. We didn't feel it was right to include them in the ceremony. Didn't want to create any complicated emotions or feel like it was disloyal to their mom.

My son will be walking me down the aisle with my dad

We have 2 and 2. We aren't doing any kind of unity ceremony (although we've discussed it and have so much time, that could change) but our children will be in the wedding party. We *do* view this as a celebration of coming together as a family. My FH has even mentioned legal adoption, we all live together, our children refer to each others as their siblings, etc. We have a home camcorder (that never gets used) that we are going to have the kids pass between them throughout the reception for their perspective of the day. We will also have a gift for each that we will pull them aside and give them individually.

Thank you everybody for your input. Both of my daughters, ages 21 and 20 will be my bridesmaids and my son, age 17 (in November) will be a groomsman. My fiancé's son, 10 (in November) will be our "ring security" and his daughter, age 12, will be a Jr. bridesmaid. I'm leaning towards the unity sand ceremony or Sooziep123's idea of the puzzle. I've even seen videos where vows have been said to the kids, too but I'm not sure about that. I'm with you @Naomi G that since we are blending families, my FH and I want the kids to feel like it's partly their day too.

@futurebrewer: How old are yours and your FH's kids if I may ask? That's a cool idea about the camcorder.

I don't agree that it's not something they choose. If they didn't choose me then I wouldn't be marrying my husband. They chose me to be their step Mom and I chose them to be my step kids. I didn't just marry my husband. I also became a mom. Officially anyways. I stepped into the Mom role the minute I met them. We included H son and daughter as flower girl and ring bearer and we did a sand ceremony that talked about the bond all of us share now.

We are doing unity sand in a picture frame with a picture of the three of us.

H's sons are in their early 20s, and both were groomsmen. He asked them to stand with him, they said yes.

FH has three kids (daughter will be 8, two sons will be 10 and 12). If they agree to, which I'm sure they will, they'll stand with us. Not sure of anything else at this point.

Our blended family now all the kids are adults. They will all hopefully be apart somehow, just not sure what yet. lol it's there choice if they don't.

@OP at the time of the wedding they'll be 11, 11, 12, and 13. Being so technology driven, I figure they'll enjoy the camera and we'll hopefully get some cute moments.

My cousin had 2 kids and her 2nd husband had 4. This blended family only had them in the bridal party, nobody else. So the couple obviously said their vow to each other(own written) and also write vows to each other's children coming into their lives. It was so sweet and cute. It made everyone cry.

Since you mentioned that your kids are older, here is an idea to consider. I'm 24 and my sister is 17, our dad got remarried in August to a woman with 3 kids, 17, 15? And 12? Not positive on everyone's age. Anyway, they were their moms bridal party and we we're my dad's groomsmaids with my cousin as well. The only other time we played was we each passed a rose to the opposite person at the end. So I gave one to his wife and her oldest gave one to my dad. It was cute. Oldest girl and I made toasts at the reception. I would not have been comfortable with more involvement than this as she is not really a mother figure for me. I live in my own and have only been around her a handful of times! But I thought it was a nice level of involvement for us to welcome them to the family

Stori, I like your idea. My 3 sons are grown: my oldest (35y/o) will give me away he said,"I'll be honored to give you away to someone I actually like." Lol. Although, i would like my 22 y/o and 25 y/o to be groomsmen I'm not sure they'd be happy. Boys will be boys, I say. But I love the taped message idea.

Oh, also I have 5 grandsons too. Later I ask about youngins at the wedding.