In Sickness And In Health

No, because it's disrespectful to the marriage. Once I had passed I would have no issue with him finding love again, in fact i'd want it. I love him and he's actually the one who at the moment is having health issues. He's actually in the hospital right now and I have no idea for how long. I would never consider having a boyfriend. I personally don't think you love your spouse if you do that.

A husband who was willing to care for me so I could stay in my home even with advanced Alzheimer's? And a girlfriend who was so respectful of the marriage that she was willing to have me there and help care for me herself? I would consider myself lucky to have that.

Although I think what she "allows" is kind of irrelevant at this point. The likelihood is, she has no idea he is her husband.

I think that's disrespectful. You're still married to each other, so that's being unfaithful regardless if the other party is able to know it or not!

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Right? This isn't just an illness we're talking about, it's someone completely losing themselves. She is not the same person anymore. It's not like she's going through cancer treatment and is completely cognizant of what is going on around her. I feel like the OP is comparing apples to oranges a little bit.

TW: talk of suicide
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Ya’ll! This is such an important conversation to have with your FS. Talk about it now before things get to that point. Im really surprised how much my estate planning has come up in these forums 😂 If I have an neurodegenerative disease I want my husband and I to move us to a state that allows physician-assisted suicide. After I’m gone I want him to move on but know that if there is a spirit-world or afterlife I’m going to stalk his butt to make sure he’s safe.

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I completely understand.

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I understand your perspective.

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Good point.

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So you would be okay with your spouse having a girlfriend/boyfriend in this case?

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In this extremely specific example, sure. I wouldn't even know. It's not like I'd be living with my husband as husband and wife at that point. He'd more be just a caretaker.

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What does "TW: talk of suicide" mean?

Thanks! I try to ask important questions when I can but they are typically controversial and I don't want to get my post deleted.

You and your husband seem to have really thought of it all!

View Quoted Comment TW is an abbreviation for Trigger Warning. If someone has strong feeling towards or is triggered by discussing suicide I wanted to give them a heads up so they can scroll past my answer.

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Oh okay, thank you for clarifying.

This is a tough subject to me because alzheimers runs in my family. I watched my grandfather revert back to a child. He only had memories of being a child near the end and would mistaken me as his sister.
I might have it someday, this is something I’m having a hard time thinking about. I’ve known my FH since I was twelve so at least maybe I’d remember him a lot time.

I wouldn’t be ok with it. “In sickness and in health” is a promise I’m adamant about. FH has Ankylosing Spondylitis, it basically fuses your spine together and it gets worse with age. One day I’ll be his caretaker. I don’t believe in having a partner on the side even in extreme circumstances, for either of us.

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I apologize for not posting a sensitivity warning for this topic.

View Quoted Comment Lol you’re fine hun, people can understand the subject matter from the title. I’m not upset from the topic, just reflecting.

View Quoted Comment So because she is disabled she is lucky to be cheated on??

Because someone is disabled does not mean the husband can go back on his vows. Sickness and health means sickness and health. He is cheating on her. He is using he disabilities to cheat. Yes will not tr you my personal thoughts on this buy cause my post will be deleted.

View Quoted Comment Oh okay. Thank you for adding your perspective. Especially because it touches so close to home and you can truly relate.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing your perspective.