In pure shock...

Im in Westchester NY and we are paying $80/pp including cake and open bar. (granted it's a Friday). My brothers friend just got married at Oheka Castle on Long Island and they did it on a Thursday to save about $50,000. They are about $200-500 a person plus the site fee which is about another 10k.

Yeah I didn’t even entertain the idea of my dream venue. Their location fee is upwards of 20k just to rent the space. Can’t imagine the pp cost with food and alcohol...

NY and NJ -- especially towns that are considered the suburbs of the city --are very expensive, but even knowing that, I think $500 PP is prohibitive. There are venues that charge half of that for in-season, Saturday night weddings. Move into the Hudson Valley of NY, and the PP charge will be even less.

You're looking for a prime date -- Saturday night in early September. If you're willing to go off season -- January through March -- you'll save money. If you're willing to do Thursday night, Friday night, or Sunday afternoon, you'll save money.

Celia is very familiar with a lot of the NJ venues. Put her name in your thread title and you're likely to receive a list of NJ venues.

@mrs fall bride - we didn't look at The Garrison but it looks gorgeous from pics! I'm in Orange County and didn't want to go south.

Our reception is in the indoor ballroom, the ceremony will likely be indoors too unless we get 60 degree + weather...which happened last year so you never know!

PJ is definitely NOT a swanky area, I wouldn't live there. That venue is some newer woodsy resort but I truly can't imagine they get that much business.

I'm in Orange County too. There are plenty of venues that are far more affordable than what the OP has been quoted -- even in season, even on a Saturday evening.

Ugh. I looked at NJ and NY places. I'm located in the Hudson Valley. Everything was so pricey. We eventually settled in the Poconos with an all inclusive venue!

@Rachel - totally! I'm paying about 20% of that!

@2TaurusWed We live in Poughkeepsie too, we got engaged at the mid-hudson bridge! The grandview is gorgeous

@Mrs. Fall Bride Our reception is at the Riverview in Hastings on Hudson. We are originally from Westchester but we looked at a few places in between and fell in love with the Riverview. We are getting married at FH high school chapel in White Plains. Cold Spring had the Hudson House which was $70pp but they cap it at 70 people I think. We looked at a few restaurants too.

What!? That's unbelieva

ble ! Try Highlawn Pavillion in West Orange .. it's my venue for our wedding lol and I will recommend it forever

I'm in NJ/NY and we are at lots of different venues per week, so I am very well acquainted with our venues and pricing here. Five hundred dollars? That is a lot , even close to two years ahead in prime season, even at a venue that I really, really like (I am actually there next week....). They do an impeccable job in a class of venues that are at the top level of professionalism and cuisine.

But part of that is that if YOU don't book it, there are two years to book someone who will.

For starters, you need to decide on a stomach-able price and what you expect from your evening....as a baseline reality chck, consider that going to top level NJ/NY restaurant, having 3-4 drinks per person, appetizers, four courses and dessert could top 200.00 before tax and service. which is another 28%.....I think that might help to put it all in perspective.

But you have to take into account the experience from beginning to end; not only your guests' but yours In the more upscale places, you'll have at least three people keeping track of your bridal parsty. You wlll be coddled from beginning to end. You won't have butter pats, mingy wine glasses or sugar packets on the tables. Is that important to you? Only you can say....

For a not so insane priced wedding reception that is really going to wow your guests (in different ways), investigate these places;

The Olde Mill (ask for Marien or Lindsey)

The Palace (ask for Richard )

Maritime Parc (ask for Elizabeth)

Rock Island Lake Club (ask for Heather)

Liberty House (ask for Alex)

Stone House (their new building is amazing...ask for Carissa)

The Barn at Perona Farms (ask for Marley)

Any of the Crystal Springs resorts (Ballyown is my fave but they are all fab; ask for Julie or Silje)

The Grove

The Tides (ask for Tom)

Florentine Gardens

The Rockleigh (ask for Bari)

Seasons

I know I have missed dozens, but those are my faves.

And I do LOVE HIghlawn; the view is to die for and they are very reasonable. Ask for Chris

Elizabeth, I see you're getting a lot of help here. Realistically though, at a restaurant pp for dinner/dessert/drinks all night you'd expect for $100 per head at least right? Depending on the area. So people that are planning receptions need to remember that when planning the amount of people that can be afforded.

@celia with the exception of 3, I've been to a wedding at ever venue on that list. I love love love Perona farms!!!!

I cannot imagine paying that much perhead but I know that venues like those exist. I have a friend who works for Ashford Estate, which was recommend to me but was waaay out of my budget.

I live in the Philly/NJ area and the most expensive venue we looked at was just outside of the city, and was 165$ pp after tax and gratuity. Still out of budget.

I suggest you figure out what pp price works for your budget, and take a look at some venues through Wedding Spot.

FWIW we ended up booking a venue close to AC for around 100PP before tax and gratuity, probably closer to 115/120 after but i havent done the official math on the final quote to figure out what it would be so I'm estimating based on the final number to be paid.

I am going to the Ashford Estate this weekend, and their group of venues are seriously amazing. Their service is unparalleled, the food is oh-my-god fabulous.

But we are talking completely top, top, top level venus here. And some of the decision comes down to what you want and what you can afford and the presence you want to project. At the end ofthe day you're going to be married..

I did a wedding at an Elks Club a few weeks ago, and I can tell you that the group of guests they invited had an amazing time. Was it the same time they would have had at one of our more expensive venues? No, no question about it. But when I left they were dancing, drinking and having grand old time, and isn't that the point?

I'm getting married in the Philly burb of Pottstown. Not sure how far it is for people commuting out of NJ but they're about $60/person and a lot is included (cake, flowers, ceremony site and reception, all food, soft drinks and garnishes but we supply alcohol). It's an amazing value.

Wow!!! That's insane!

Cat lady- which Steven Starr restaurant? My husband almost had me go against the big LI wedding where I’m from in favor of a small wedding at Barclay prime. We moved to Seattle and I didn’t want to go to the best steakhouse here because it “wasn’t Barclay so why waste the money?” LOL

Wow! I am suddenly very thankful that I live in Wisconsin. I've never heard of a venue charging per person. My venue is $3k and my caterer is $1k... and some people thought THAT was expensive!

Where are you in NJ? I'm also in NJ and my venue in Spring Lake was only $75 per person all inclusive. If you are close look around the Jersey Shore area, there are reasonable prices there.