In Lieu of Favors.....

I'd think it's odd there is no take-away, but I wouldn't be heart-broken about it. Are you having a dollar dance? Maybe you could have a dance for donations to your charity? that way that can kind of be their favor, knowing they did something good to help others?

It's fine, favors aren't required or really all that important (though s'mores kits would be better than some, as edible favors are the most popular). Donate to whatever charity you want, but don't put cards on the table or anything. Just make the donation yourselves, it has nothing to do with your guests (and if they don't support the charity you choose, they may be offended).

Donate, but don't put up a card. A donation should be a private thing, not something to brag about. If you put up a card, you're basically saying "we didn't want to cut costs on anything that was important to us, so we took the money we would have spent on the guests, and gave it to charity".

I've never been to a wedding with favors. It would be strange to have a sign.

You can totally forgo traditional favors and put a "in lieu of" card up and even include the name of the charity and how your guests might go about donating too if they wish. I've been to far too many weddings where the favor is pretty much lost on the car ride home because it's just a little piece of plastic nonsense that no one needs to keep if they're not directly related to the bride and groom. My favors are thrift store rescue teacups and saucers with a little metal hinged box containing our favorite tea. The box will most likely be lost or tossed, but there's a good chance the teacups will be of some use afterwards.

Most people on here will tell you to donate and not tell anyone and no one will miss the favors.

However, I really don't mind a sign, just because I think it's nice to 1) see what the couple is passionate in supporting and 2) make me see that the bride and groom could have spent more money to make a day about them but instead they decided to do something special with their money.

I guess the only thing I wouldn't like as a guest is maybe I'd think "so they could have given me something but instead gave it to something else, well then why even tell me I would have gotten something?" but that thought would pass through my head for a second then I'd go "aww that's nice, I hope the puppies have a happier life now!"

The first comment was awful advice. lol don't do that.

I think these types of "favors" are nice. It's nice to give back. But I don't think you should put a card saying it at every seat. If you want to let people know, maybe just do one small sign on the guestbook table or something. But it doesn't need to be announced everywhere.

If it were me I would think it was great, since what you were going to give as a favor would probably be something small anyway, at least now it is going to good use where the money is really needed. I like it better than favors.

ETA I like your idea to donate to charity, I was just suggesting the dollar dance in case you wanted to encourage others to donate as well.

I would forgo the sign/ something letting guests know you donated. the one wedding where they did that it just kind of annoyed me, i would not have noticed that there wasn't a favor if they didn't do that.

What if you gave everyone a silver dollar with a note saying , in lieu of favors we have opted to give you a dollar. If you wish you may donate it to one of two charities we have chosen... and have info for both from the specific charities. Then have a fish bowl or a cute bank of a dog for the shelter and a pink pig bank or something for breast cancer. Then, if YOU choose to make a donation to your "jars" you can put the money in them to start it off. I think its weird that you make a personal donation to a charity and somehow construe that it came from your guests. Your wedding really shouldnt be a fund raiser for a charity in any capacity but at least this way you gave them something and they get to choosefif they want to donate to it. Idk .....to me its like saying i would have gotten a small gift, but you didnt want to deal with it so you just gave my gift to a charity of YOUR choice whether I like it or not. And YOU get a tax write off for it. I think its tacky. To me you just do favors or not. If you want to give YOUR money to a charity its your choice, not mine, and isnt wedding related. I.e. i was going to feed you a dinner at the reception but we decided we would just give a portion of that cost to seeing eye dogs instead. Thanks for understanding and thanks for the tax deduction!

@Mrs Cheapskate, I've never thought of that idea before, that is so creative! I think that's cool since the guests aren't required to donate, they can choose the charity, and they still get a gift and can decide what to do with that gift. Very creative!

I love the idea of donating money to a cause you're passionate about. But it's really not "in lieu of favors". You're just not doing favors and taking the money you saved and donating it. I don't like the sign or cards identifying where you donated.

I'm also not a fan of Mrs. Cheapskate's idea. I can't really put my finger on it but it seems weird to give guests money then tell them to donate it to a charity you chose.

No one needs favors; you've fed them, given them drinks, entertained them; that's plenty.

Just donate and keep it to yourself.

I hate when people donate to a charity in lieu of someone else. If you want to do it from you, then do it but don't have any signs. It may be a great charity but to me it just sounds like bragging. You don't have to do any favors.

@celia has it right. the whole in lieu of favors things totally rubs me the wrong way for a few reasons 1) it is really attention seeking behavior - donating is a great thing, you don't need to tell the world

2) weddings do not require favors at all, so it wouldn't really be in lieu of favors, its just a sign tellign the wold that you are such a good person for donating

3) You don't know what people support

I never understood why this community is so much against donating to charities. I agree that a favor isn't necessary. But I love the idea of donating. When I just recently put our family dog down, our vet who did the procedure sent a card saying nice things and then added that in memory of Peppy, she donated to xx charity. I almost cried. And I never happy cry. It was so sweet and I'm glad she told us. So I'm not sure why people here don't like the idea of brides donating to charities.

You can do what you feel is right. I love that you are donating to a charity and if I saw a sign saying that, I would be happy that you spent money where it's needed, rather than waste it on something I would never use. And it would be more likely that I would donate to that charity shortly after the wedding, since I know that organization means a lot to the couple.

I think it's a great idea. my friends did the same thing. they adopted they're pit bull so for their favors they made a donation in her honor. they even stamped her paw print on the little card they put on the table letting everyone know. i don't know what the card said, but i thought it was so cute.

i think favors are so stupid. we aren't doing them. i've fed and boozed you. thanks for coming.

@pancakes- no one is against donating to charities. We just prefer not to be showy attention whore-y about it. I wouldn't feel blessed or wow'd if I went to a wedding and was told, "hey we wanted to give you something that is entirely unnecessary because no one really wants a shot glass with our wedding date on it, but instead we saved the money and gave it to a shelter." Side-eye, good for you...

ETA: wrong arrow

I am not the type of person who would automatically be like "OMG they are just bragging that they donated to a charity." I would think "Wow that is really sweet of them, good to know." Put your sign up if you want. It isn't like you have to put the amount you donated. Did someone in your family pass away from breast cancer? You could put it beside a picture of that person and say "In lieu of favors we have donated our money to _________ in honor of __________" or something like that if the charity you are donating has a special significance to you.