In-laws Forgot My Birthday

Honestly, I'd let this go. You're an adult and it was one birthday. They probably were all just busy and didn't have time to send a text. One of my friend's birthdays was yesterday and while I knew it, I couldn't even find a minute in the day to get to my phone to text her even a quick message. I'm sure it's not a slight to you and they either simply forgot or were just busy.

My in laws have never told me happy birthday except literally one time when I had just seen his grandmother that week so it was fresh on her mind. I don’t think it’s a big deal.

I would not stress it. They may have forgotten. Truthfully there are two birthdays I have memorized and that is my brother and my fiance. I know my aunt is in September but now that I am not on fbook I do not pay attn. I would just tell her thank you for the gifts or do not respond.

Thanks, ladies!

I'm just not going to say anything in response to her follow-up, and just let it be. My family and a few bridesmaids saw it as being out of character for both grandma and aunt, and my thoughts went wild.

How to respond to his grandmother is just to say “thank you” — anything else would be completely inappropriate. She gave you a card and some nice little things and you texted to thank her, and she wrote a perfectly pleasant response. You could mention some specific items in thanks (like “calendar is cute” or “soap smells great”) , since it’s been a while and she doesn’t recall them, but you don’t need to. Don’t read more into it than that. She’s just not sure exactly what she wrapped up because it’s been a couple months — no big deal and absolutely not personal.


Really try not to overthink this. I understand feeling upset because it’s been acknowledged in the past, and most especially because you make such an effort to acknowledge everyone else’s. But it sounds like birthdays might just be more important to you than they are to the in laws and it doesn’t mean anything at all more than that — not that you did something to offend them, not that they stopped liking you as much, just that it fell off their radar because that’s what kind of people they are. It’s just something that I’d try to let go and not get hung up on and not take personally.
The BEST thing for you to do is to try to change your expectations from these people . It’s honestly not worth a confrontation over because I don’t think that would be beneficial to the relationship. Let your FH know it bummed you out bc you love birthdays, and hopefully maybe he will make a bigger deal of making you Bday specially , or maybe he’ll remind them in advance next year.

View Quoted Comment Hope you managed to have a good birthday otherwise!


PP’s Facebook comment was a good point. I can be really on my birthday text game if I’m on FB and see the reminder , but if I happen to skip FB that day 😳😳 sorry friends, I forgot!!

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Thanks, Mcskipper!

When I had sent my original message, I thanked her for everything --commented on each item and how I can't wait to use them or how good the soap smelled. Her response, in turn, was the comment that she didn't recall what she sent.

I think his grandmother and aunt try to do something because my FH lost his mother between Christmas and their birthday's in February. She tries to get together with everyone before she leaves for Florida again, and this year nothing happened. I had a gut feeling that they weren't too impressed with me wanting to push the wedding back because of grad school.

Though I fully agree, I'm pretty easy going, and I don't believe a confrontation is needed. I was just upset by it and wasn't sure if it warranted a panic attack --Haha!

I'd let it go! You're probably making a bigger deal out of it than it is, and they probably just forgot or are busy. It's not worth the stress to you!

Yeah, I agree with others' about letting this go. A "thank-you" for grandma's gift is all you have to say, there is nothing passive-aggressive about that. Honestly, especially if your FH isn't great about remembering dates, and tells you to not overthink it, I'd take his suggestion to heart. My family has always been all about remembering special occasions and giving gifts. H's (of 32+ yrs) family has NEVER been like that. Do they appreciate getting cards/gifts from "him" that I buy and literally put the cards in front of him for signatures? SURE! In 32+ years have I "gotten credit" for being the reason any of that ever happens? Nope, not once. But, you know what, we're a team, and I want us to be a team that has good manners and demonstrates appreciation of people. Is it reciprocated? Rarely. But, a card and a stamp cost us not much more than $5. Do I want to do what I think is the right thing even if it costs $5? Absolutely....

PS -- Happy Birthday!

Happy belated birthday !


Like other pps have mentioned I wouldn’t stress about it. Some years my brother remembers our parents bday and some years he doesn’t aha. Some people are just like that. I’m sure they love you but maybe there’s just a lot going on with their stuff to remember things like that. Not that it’s not important but I know it’s hard remembering everyone’s birthday sometimes

Hey don’t feel bad ... I never get a happy birthday coming from his side of the family!!! They probably don’t know when my birthday is.... But they can all kiss my ass! My family is all I need anyways 😂😂😂.... movinggggg forwardddd! But they’re birthday come in wish I would go outta my way to say HBD! #teampetty 🤣

Happy belated birthday!!


Like others have said you need to just let it go. You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out the why when really it could just be that you are just a regular part of the family now and they don’t have to impress you anymore.Hey! My own mother and sister forgot my birthday this year! I mean it’s ON Groundhog Day for Pete’s sake!

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Haha, right!!! Same with me. Most of my fiance's fam doesn't even know or remember HIS birthday much less mine. I wouldn't sweat it.